Professional Cuddlers

If you are listed as a professional cuddler, shouldn't you then be professional enough to check your requests, get online more often than every two weeks, or if you are going to be offline for months, take down your profile temporarily so people don't keep trying to make cuddle appointments? This site is getting very frustrating.

Comments

  • I agree to an extent but some people just get busy and this may not be a priority for them at that moment. I feel you, though. It stinks to not get the response you hoped for.

  • Nobody is obligated to respond to your message nor required to be logged in for a certain amount of time . It is kinda tacky to tag a person in a thread just because you are irritated that they didn't respond to you or log in to their account.

  • These types of posts scare off more people than anything. They come across as desperate and full of anger. Just find somebody who is more responsive and reach out.

  • I’m always on the middle of the fence with this topic. I truly believe if you are going to be a professional cuddler, you have to treat this like a job and be professional. If you are going to be away for a while, state that on your profile. Or you have the option to deactivate and come back when you are ready. I’ve seen some profiles of pros that say “I do not go on this site daily. You may not get an immediate response”. To me, that’s a fair enough warning. Some lead busy lives and work constantly with another job and this is a side gig to most. Therefore, I understand why some don’t put as much effort into it and they certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation for long durations of unanswered messages. That should be an obvious reason for some of these pros to realize they shouldn’t be pros though. If you only come on to the site once a week or every couple weeks, by the time you’ve finally gotten to the end of all the messages youve received, there are going to be a lot of angry, hurt and ignored people who needed your help and have given up on you. What’s the point of being a pro cuddler if you aren’t going to actually cuddle? I have nothing against the ones that lead very busy lives as long as it’s mentioned on their profile. When I lived in Canada, this year was crazy busy for me.

    • I got married
    • I had a month long honeymoon
    • I was packing to move here to Florida
    • I had a full time 12 hour night shift factory job as a supervisor
    • I was a bridemaid for a wedding

    Needless to say, I was hella busy. But I answered every-single-message. If you aren’t willing to put forth even a bit of effort, why try?
    I know it sounds like I’m leaning towards favouring the client over the pro, but I know other caring pros that actually love this job for the sole reason of helping others while doing what you love, will see how frustrating it is to constantly hear from people how they send out 30 messages to 30 pros and only get 2 answers back a week later.... all I can say is if you are that busy that you ignore messages for weeks on end, either don’t be a pro cuddler or at least state that on your profile. If the cuddler doesn’t read your profile and gets mad, then that’s their fault for being ignorant to knowing more about you.

    The end.

  • @Sheena123 Can I stand up and give you a slow clap & ovation ? That basically sums up what I think is a reasonable opinion ! You become a pro to A. To I hope help people & B. Make money .. But if you're just going to be unresponsive to any and all message attempts or log out of your account for days or weeks at a time what's the point ? I mean really not trying to be a jerk but if a pro does that why are you even here ?

  • @hugonehugall lol thank you 😊
    I really hope I wasn’t too harsh. But I hope my message had a tinge of harshness for the pros that don’t quite care enough to see how mean or frustrating this situation is. I hear from a lot of my cuddlers that they frequently get ignored, as in not even receiving one message from so many and it ticks me off...

  • edited January 11

    Days or weeks at a time? Thats what this complaint is about? What is this massive entitlement to their time and attention you haven't even purchased yet?

    The profile clearly states their last activity, if they havent been on a while find someone else.

  • @grumpy_cat

    We need to stop using the word entitlement when people get upset at being ignored. I understand that they can simply move on to the next if they get no response but it’s easy to say that when you have plenty to choose from. Do you know how it feels to be in a situation where receiving touch is so difficult and yet so very needed and you feel alone and unloved? To have the guts to put yourself out there sending a simple “how do you do” message to multiple people and get shot down because of an empty profile that they are too embarrassed or scared to fill out? Or to be ignored by so many that it makes you feel even more alone? This isn’t entitlement... this is rejection. It’s not just one pro here and there that’s unprofessional. And I know you aren’t a professional cuddler so this message isn’t for you. We just have to stop saying that these guys are whiners. I’ve heard it from so many cuddlers that they are surprised I answered considering they’ve been ignored by about 20 others. That’s sad. It’s not entitlement.... it’s simply a message to those that become pros to actually care just a little bit. It takes two seconds to answer back a message. Be a decent human being and answer. They certainly shouldn’t have to pay a pro for the 5 minutes it takes to have a conversation with them to show some compassion. If they sent a message thats mean or sexual or derogatory then I understand not to answer them. I would report them. But the messages I receive from these rejected people are kind and full of innocent conversation. It isn’t entitlement.... straight up: if you are going to be a pro cuddler, caring for a person is the main point of your job. If you’re pissy about answering too many messages to “entitled people” then don’t be a pro.

  • edited January 11

    @Sheena123 it is EXACTLY entitlement

    "the fact of having a right to something"

    Pros are free people with their own will, they can do as they see fit. Someones sob story does not change this. Rejection does not change this. You are empathizing with them which is fine, but you go to far if you are blaming pros for making a CHOICE not to respond to certain individuals.

    Why do pros deserve to get guilt tripped for approaching this profession as they see fit? No one deserves to be guilt tripped into investing time an energy they didn't wish to, to people they didn't want to.

    EDIT

    TL;DR I dont fault any other profession for rejecting clients, why would I fault a professional cuddler.

  • @grumpy_cat then we agree to disagree. I’m only shaming the pros that join this site and then don’t answer messages. If a person gets angry that they haven’t received a response in a day or two then they are just a little inpatient. But my gripe is towards the women that decide to become a professional cuddler, put a profile up saying a bunch of mumbo jumbo that states how much they care, and then turn their back from the very people she says she cares about. It bugs me that they decide to be a professional but don’t act professionally. I believe that these rejected guys deserve to be hurt by getting ignored. It’s a valid feeling. I’m not going too far to empathize with them. I’ve received enough messages of these rejected folk enough to know that this is stupid. My main argument is towards the uncaring professionals. If you are a professional that cares, this clearly isn’t for you. People keep pushing these arguments towards men feeling entitled. I’m trying to keep the conversation focused on what’s more important. I’ve said it multiple times already. If you are going to be a pro, be a pro. The main job of a cuddler is to show you care. Ignoring messages or signing up to be a pro and then ghosting the site is obviously unprofessional. That’s what grinds my gears.

  • "If you are going to be a pro, be a pro. The main job of a cuddler is to show you care. Ignoring messages or signing up to be a pro and then ghosting the site is obviously unprofessional. "

    Sheena, your points are well made and i agree wholeheartedly. I wish every Pro was as caring and understanding as you are. But unfortunately, that is not the case.

  • Thanks @dharma1257
    Whether people think I care too much or am being to empathetic to their situation doesn’t matter a lick to me. Those uncaring pros make those that do care look bad... some have left the site because of how unprofessional they are...

  • @grumpy_cat There's a large enough sample size now to prove that every person or potential client that these pros are choosing to ignore are not creeps or consent violators. Quite a few if not most much like myself are are good people trying to meet available cuddlers. And like @Sheena123 said if you're just going to ghost the site as soon as you become a pro are just ignore messages when you are logged in why are you choosing to be a pro. Yes I understand they are independent contractors so to speak and no one is owed anything , but that's not what we're talking about here. If pro cuddlers want to respected and received openly by the outside world it starts by having some sort of professionalism in their own world.

  • @hugonehugall

    Lets not lump pros together like some sort of consortium. Not all of pros are interested in the "bigger picture" of professional cuddling. Getting upset about that is a pointless endeavor. These are individual people with their own preferences, time availability, interest, and level of caring.

    I disagree whole heartily that being a pro means you need to respond to everyone and care about everyone. The job of the pro is to cuddle for money, where offered, based on market forces. If they suck they will receive negative feedback.

    I'm not going to begrudge someone just looking to make a buck, this site has no rules against that or any sort of standard requirement. If you want that, make a site that has some sort of training requirements.

  • @grumpy_cat It's kinda hard to you know .... Make a buck if you ignore inquiries from your clientele

  • This place sometimes...lulz...

  • @Sheena123 Lol. Great to see another pro jumping at the defense of the client ;-)

    Also, I love your next long comment that starts "We need to stop using the word entitlement when people get upset at being ignored." You hit it right on the nail. A lot of the times when people seem angry and upset, it's because they are tired. It comes from experience, something that genuinely happened to them, and often by them feeling invisible. People who don't understand what this feels like, to feel so disconnected and alone that it pisses you off, just consider yourself lucky.

    @grumpy_cat Someone who genuinely cares about this work should be compassionate and empathetic towards people in a variety of situations and emotional states. When I see someone on here posting a frustration in their treatment, I don't think "entitlement", I respond with emotion much like @Sheena123 . I hear it SO much from amazing clients of mine, so it's not necessarily because the person is bad or necessarily doing anything wrong. Honestly, I jump right to their profile to see if they are in one of my travel states, lol. I want to end their suffering and help them feel heard. Before I did a lot of traveling, I even messaged people nowhere near me to try to give them hope and they have ALWAYS been very appreciative and kind in response to my message. People just want to feel seen and heard by someone.

    @Sheena123 "Those uncaring pros make those that do care look bad... some have left the site because of how unprofessional they are..." Spot on there also. This industry is still so new that most people have no idea what this actually is and a lot of people make jokes about us making money doing this work. "Professionals" who act unprofessionally, however they do that, just encourage the people making jokes =(

    Anyway, @grumpy_cat is also correct in that there are no rules or regulations, so that's the effect. People can do what they want. I will say though, that when people ask me about finding a professional, I always warn them to be VERY careful about who they choose, as there are a lot of people out for a quick easy buck. One day there will hopefully be a greater understanding in regards to what this is and people will know whether to look for a legitimate professional or a "professional" :-/

  • @ubergigglefritz cross your fingers and hope ☺️ As long as there are actual professional professionals, there’s a little hope to show people that this matters.

  • @grumpy_cat "TL;DR I dont fault any other profession for rejecting clients, why would I fault a professional cuddler."

    Yeah, all those other professions that ignore inquiries from clients... oh wait, actually the only "businesses" that have ever ignored my inquiries are cuddlers. Have you ever tried to book an appointment with a spa or a massage therapist or a dentist or a lawyer and had them just ignore your calls? I haven't.

    Actually, it's shittier when cuddlers do it than if, say, a lawyer did it. Because this is a profession that purports to help people who are lacking in human contact. Imagine feeling like you have no one in your life who wants to be close to you, finally breaking down and deciding to pay a cuddler, and winding up feeling that you can't even pay someone to touch you.

    Look, I'm not completely without empathy for the "pros" who do this. I get it, they're just young women who have a few hours each week to spare and decided to give cuddling a try without putting a lot of thought into it. Nevertheless, it's completely unprofessional, they can only get away with it because of the broken and immature nature of the cuddling market, and clients are perfectly reasonable to complain about it.

  • @mb0 you definitely deserve to have a say in how rude it is to be ignored. I’m honestly tired of people saying it’s annoying or pathetic when guys make this complaint... whenever a pro makes a complaint about a client that stood them up or cancelled a session, people are right by their side patting their back. But whenever a man had an issue with a pro being unprofessional, they get attacked. It’s sad. You deserve to gripe just like anyone else!

  • @mb0 "you can't even pay someone to touch you." I have had a client tell me specifically that other professionals made him feel that way. You are 100% right, and it's awful. Professionals in this line of work have a bit greater responsibility towards being compassionate, in my opinion.

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