The Great Weiner Heist of 1910.

Made you look. I bet you feel extremely silly.

Comments

  • I’m proud of my curiosity lol

  • I am silly, therefore I am.

  • I’m always silly. I’m with you, @Sheena123. Lol

  • I had to know! I thought it could be a funny story 😜

  • I read the topic too quickly, was expecting a stampede of dachshunds :-)

  • Being human is inherently absurd.

  • It wasn't me! I didnt do it!

  • I expected a coffee table book comprised of genitalia pics received by women on this site

  • @pmvines - coffee table book? That's a BIG book. And I don't think the small and wishful-thinking subject matter deserves that kind of attention. No pun intended in any way.

  • edited January 15

    I'm disappointed by the lack of stolen hot dogs. Therefore:

    It was 1910, and the workers of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory were hungry. On the eighth floor, the bookkeepers were having an unauthorized wiener roast (using hot dogs bought with stealthily siphoned funds), and they weren't sharing. The mouth-watering smell of cooking pork drifted up to the workers on the ninth floor, who were very tired of shirtwaists.

    Agatha Barnhardt concocted the cunning plan.

    By firmly stitching together shirtwaists, the workers were able to bypass the doors (locked by their employers to keep them at the job until the end of the day) and lower Jane Wilkinson, the smallest, lightest worker, to the window below.

    The bookkeepers, distracted by the small fire they'd started in a steel garbage can, didn't see Wilkinson slip inside.

    Several packages of uncooked wieners rested temptingly beside a black typewriter on a desk three feet from the window. Carefully, Wilkinson crawled to the desk and filled her shirt with raw hot dogs. Returning to the window, instead of climbing back up, she filled the lowermost shirtwaist with wieners and went back for more!

    Barnhardt and the other workers hoisted the first improvised basket of wieners up with no trouble. The second shirtwaist went up with equal ease. But the third....

    Wilkinson had become cocky.

    Spurred on by her unqualified success in matters of thievery, she had actually attempted to steal a cooked wiener from an accountant as he was eating it!

    She made it to the window, but the shirtwaist rope proved unequal to the combined weight of Wilkinson and two angry bookkeepers. It tore. Wilkinson fell to the fire escape, the hot dog which had been her undoing still firmly clutched in her teeth. Barnhardt, leaning so far out the ninth floor window she nearly fell herself, was horrified, thinking the girl had been killed. However, staggering to her feet, Wilkinson waved the hot dog triumphantly and let out a cheer.

    "Hooray for hot dogs! Down with stingy accountants!"

    "Why, you little—!" the bookkeepers (saved from involuntary defenestration by the hands of their brothers) spluttered incoherently as young Wilkinson took off down the fire escape, delighted at having an illicit half day free.


    The attempted reprise in 1911 didn't go so well.

  • @DarrenWalker I love you and want to hire you. PM me. lol

  • I can tell you about the wiener heist of 1999, i remember it like it was yesterday. Now this wasn’t a great heist probably a minor one in the relation to history.

    I just left the barbershop and i was going to a barbecue, i had on some Jean shorts on with and a white Bart Simpson tee shirt, with a weaved belt. A pair of Birkenstock’s and a white pager.

    So i was headed down e. 33rd st. With the windows down, i stopped at the corner store to get a Faygo Rock n Rye (it’s a regional soda that’s excellent). As i walked through the lot to my car this nice older lady asked for some help. Now this was one of those grandmother types, white hair, dress with a sweater to keep warm in June. Walked and talked very slow.

    She said : “Young man, Do you know about the barbecue down the street, it looks like there are a lot of young men like you there. Are you going? Are you taking anything?”

    I said: “ yes i happen to be taking the wieners to throw on the grill”

    She: “ wonderful, i can make you a deal. I just baked some soft warm gooey chocolate chip cookies in that house right there”

    “There is something i want you to do for me that i haven’t had the opportunity to do in a long time. It won’t take long and basically you would just have to be there”

    I was in a rush so i didn’t want to be distracted, but i asked what she needed.

    What she asked me made me blush, i felt totally objectified and disgusted. So i was pretty upset when i left and irritated.

    So she wanted to play with a sausage, and she talked about how they felt and unspeakable things a grandmother isn’t supposed to talk about. Gross

    As i got to the barbecue everybody was laughing at the chocolate stains on my tshirt! I was pissed. I left the hot dogs and went home to change shirts, it was crazy.

  • @DarrenWalker You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

  • My wiener has a first name it's... C-H-O-C-O. My wien...wait. that's bologna.

  • Mostly curious and now laughing. Thank you @DarrenWalker .☺️

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