Social vs Therapeutic Aspects of Cuddling

herby357

For me, cuddling is a therapeutic kind-of-thing, like visiting a mental-health counselor, a physical or massage therapist, personal trainer, or doing yoga. Essentially, cuddling uniquely allows me to be vulnerable I ways I wouldn't in a romantic relationship. So I joined the "Platonic-Cuddle-Community" for therapeutic purposes and not social per se', even though I respect that cuddling carries a social focus for many here, for varying reasons.

More often than not, I limit my cuddling to professionals with some type of holistic learning e.g., Reiki, Yoga, Massage or Healthcare-training. I've found professional cuddlers with this background to be intuitive healers with an understanding of how to share their life-force/love of their fellow human-beings -- in a healing, nurturing, and most importantly, platonic way.

In my more successful cuddles, the trained healers I speak of understand the nuances of intimacy vs romance and sensuality vs sexualiity and so on. And while I have cuddled with "professionals" without this background, I've generally found those sessions less-fulfilling with respect to accepting or nurturing the venerability I allow in myself in order to obtain the healing and rejuvenation I seek. Suffice it to say they just don't get it on the level of those I've encounter with holistic and healthcare backgrounds.

I'm curious how others in the community view this?

MonkeyNeedsAHug

For me it’s therapeutic. And I’ve bristled as others on this site deny or downplay cuddling’s therapeutic benefits. In a nutshell, cognitive based therapies provided little relief for me - a trauma survivor whose language center shuts down under stress. By shifting my focus to the physical sensations caused by the addition or reduction of stress, I have turned my life around.

A course of somatic therapy was useful to me, as is an occasional oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine endorphin booster. For me, cuddling provides those substances in abundance. It has been an extremely effective for me in terms of managing my symptoms.

Complex PTSD survivor, and big fan of Bessel van der Kolk, whose writing lends credence to my personal experience.

MrCuddlenity

I answer that cuddling is not defined for me because it gives the privilege of meeting other groups of women to get to know them and the mental, physical, spiritual benefits of cuddling.

herby357

Appreciate you for weighing in with nuanced perspectives. PTSD is more common than I considered, and I'll have to familiarize myself with Kolk.

calineur

I just do it for the halibut. While traveling, however, I reasoned with myself that I needed sleep assistance due to a varied work schedule, but in reality just for the enjoyment and to have some company. That must fall under "social activity." Apparently there is an issue with the survey questions, as it doesn't allow me to choose that option.

herby357

Thanks for the feedback. "Sleep assistance" leans therapeutic to me, but hey, we all have our prisms.

Unfortunately it seems I can't edit or check the polls in my original post.

Lastly, I was hoping some "professional" female cuddlers might chime in with their perspectives, particularly on the background aspects of my post.

Thanks again.

geoff1000

I guess the only difference between social and therapeutic is that : one gives you more than you need, and the other reduces the shortfall of what you need. One gives you more than most people have, the other brings you up towards the average.

It's like eating, which can be gluttony at one end of the scale, or to avoid starvation at the other. Taking Viagra to have a sex once a year, or twice a day. Taking heroin for recreation, or taking morphine for the pain of cancer.

I'd also like to think there is a public benefit, to people generally being in a better frame of mind, rather than an "incel" of sorts.

I can't remember the source but "Don't help someone so much, that they become better off than you are". If someone is paying for something, but they still have less of it than I do ( whatever that is ), I shouldn't criticise.

herby357

@geoff1000 Interesting take. I’ve come to discern that attempting to gauge what someone else may or may not “have” is a fools errand, particularly financially and spiritually. The source, manifestation, and measure of both in someone else is as assumptive as it is practically unknowable.

CuddleBug09

I am a relatively new professional female cuddler and I appreciate how you differentiate the types of sessions that people are looking for. I have 17 years of experience caring for children and people of all ages with special needs, I'm not sure if that falls under healthcare training or if I'm simply care trained. When people ask what I do in terms of cuddle therapy I say I provide listening services and companion coaching. The sessions I've had so far have had positive feedback and followup appointments booked though they do tend to fall under social more than physical healing. I believe my ability to be in tune with others needs whether or not they are able to express them is key to having fulfilling sessions. If you have any questions feel free to ask, I'm happy to talk about the experience I've had on this site so far.

herby357

Thanks @CuddleBug09. I like the use of "care trained." It is precisely what I was attempting to convey. And while I appreciate meeting my cuddle partners on a "social" level, couching it in a "therapeutic" sense provides me with a mental key to compartmentalize the wonderful emotional benefits of cuddling in a way that is appropriate for me.

I'm saving you as a favorite so if I'm ever in Columbus I can reach out -- you have the characteristics of my ideal cuddle partner.

ubergigglefritz

Aw man, I would be excluded in your list of requirements! Lol. ;-) The extent of my experience in those realms is a minor in psychology in college and casual massages over the years. Ha. But I am a deep thinker and greatly empathetic. How many times I have had people spill their life stories to me not long after meeting me... I think professionals in this field can be a mixed bag, regardless of their background or their training. It comes down to the vibe you get with the person and how that syncs with what you are looking for. Training has helped me in so many ways, but it had no effect on my heart or my intention.

Personally, I have found that MOST people I see who may THINK they are doing it for purely social reasons, there's actually some therapeutic need in there as well. O:-) It just kind of comes out over time, as they get comfortable and our conversation slowly delves into the depths of themselves as human beings.

Personally, if I need a cuddle myself, I really need to feel connected to the person. I'm very picky when it comes to authenticity and acceptance. For me, it's both therapeutic and social, but I would love to find a good professional cuddler able to really delve into the therapeutic side of what I may need in that moment. Because frankly, just about anyone can lie with me and spoon, but that doesn't really fulfill me. :-/

As a professional, my ideal clients are definitely more on the therapeutic side. But it's a lot more difficult to meet those needs being on the road full-time. I can only see people once every month or two, depending on your location. But I would much rather help someone grow, learn, gain confidence, etc, than simply to provide a warm body to hold. :-/

herby357

@ubergigglefritz you are a truly unique person and cuddler (brave and adventurous come to mind). Thanks so much for the feedback from the professional's perspective.

I'm in Greensboro often, so I read your profile a few months back prior to a visit there. There are surprisingly few cuddlers in the Triangle and Triad area. Seems odd to me given the educational, political, and social climate in there.

Also, I appreciate your updated profile -- it's even more informative than the one I read a few months back. So please know you wouldn't be excluded by me by any means -- I see you as a person in the holistic learning realm, or in touch with that life source energy I spoke about in my post.

Love the RV BTW, I've been investigating the tiny house and RV lifestyles. How's that going for you? I imagine it's fun, interesting, and challenging all at the same time (or not a magic-bullet for living a less-cumbersome lifestyle).

Be well.

ubergigglefritz

Thanks for the compliments. O:-) Happy to message details about it rather than shift subjects in the thread, ha. But during the cold months I've been circuiting back and forth between Virginia and Alabama. This trip I might actually make it just into Mississippi thanks to a session request. I like being able to get places where no other quality professionals currently are. There are people legitimately seeking the services all over the place, that's for sure. =( There are lots of "professionals" in the RDU area, but I am not aware of any professionals I would send clients to. :-/ I actually have a client in Charlottesville I need to find someone else for, because I'm not there enough anymore, but there just isn't anyone I know yet who I would send him to... Hopes for the future anyway. =(