Should married people be on this site?

I have been turned down because I am married. However my wife hates to cuddle. I need cuddling and she doesn’t care.

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Comments

  • This rarely happens, keep looking.

  • @Bob66
    I'd suggest at least starting with a pro. Female enthusiasts are so outnumbered that they can choose on the basis of many factors, and still be inundated.

  • There will always be someone who has preferences that do not match you. I know of one enthusiast who used to be in Houston who preferred married men because her logic was they won’t try anything. There are all types out there. You will find what you are looking for. Do not let one person discourage you.

  • edited February 6

    @Bob66

    Marriage and cuddling, getting our platonic touch needs met, unfortunately, don't always go hand and hand. An excellent professional cuddler won't turn you down just because you are married, and they will help by giving you the needed tools. Professional cuddlers vet us, clients, there no reason why we shouldn't be vetting them. Good luck.

  • @WKCuddles
    "hand in hand" I see what you did there. 😀

  • I picked "married" in my profile because it's true. However, she moved out 7 years ago and is living 1200 miles away. "Separated" would be more accurate, but it's not in the selection list.

    Or should I lie about that?

  • @geoff1000

    Thanks for noticing,

  • I am married to the Lord

  • @Bob66 I am married, and say so in my profile. I have had 4 cuddle buddies to date (ie more than one cuddle per cuddler). They understood my situation. Stick with it. Not everyone will understand, but when you find one who does, it's priceless.

  • I’m my experience married people who do not receive touch of cuddles from their spouse can be those in the most need of the service cuddle comfort offers. They should absolutely be allowed, and welcomed here.

    @bob66 I’m so sorry you were turned down because of your marital status. I think that it may say more about your potential cuddle buddy than it does you. But I can imagine that rejection was extremely painful. I agree with the suggestion that you may want to try out a pro cuddler or two.

  • I personally don’t care if someone is married or not. It genuinely doesn’t matter because I feel like this is the perfect platform for married people to get their needs met. Obviously they’re not looking for certain things. Married people deserve to be cuddled just as much as single people. We all have that innate need!!! I don’t think anyone should judge what another person does because you have no idea how you would handle the situation. I’m specifically careful with my buddies that are married. Such as I don’t wear any makeup, I don’t wear anything with a scent and I usually try to pull up my hair so that none transfers. I’m there as their buddy only. I know that the marriage is what they want to keep. They’re just looking for the same things that the single people are looking for.

  • @Bob66
    Welcome to the club. I know exactly how you feel. Mostly you will not even get a response to your messages to enthusiasts. If you get a response it will probably be a rejection because you are not single. So, keep trying or contact pros who are more likely to understand. I wish you the best of luck.

  • @dontremember I think divorce or single after 7 years is appropriate. You can always explain when messaging

  • Should that be any of your concern?

  • I don’t mind if people are married, have a SO, or are poly. What I wouldn’t like is hiding and lies

  • What @Groucho said. You aren't looking to date her, right?

  • I think yes, as long as the spouse is OK with it. For me, I could not go to a host’s house and pass the husband as I go to his bedroom with his wife for some cuddle time !!! Maybe because I’m just old fashioned.??

  • I’m married and can easily answer. We can be the most touch starved. My wife doesn’t cuddle and is not big on touch in general. She wasn’t always like that. Something changed. But has left me unfulfilled. I don’t want to live life not being allowed to have someone touch me. I wouldn’t leave her, nor would I cheat sexually. So I would say at least for myself, I’m pretty harmless.

  • In some countries ( including UK ) one can be married to a person of the same gender ; and be looking to cuddle with someone of the opposite gender. In this case I think most people would care ( even ) less about them being married.

    I think most men arriving to cuddle with a female enthusiast, wouldn't be bothered meeting another female of a similar age ( be it friend, sister, housemate ) ; but would be bothered meeting a male of a similar age, regardless of who they were.

  • edited February 6

    @FunCartel I think I'd go with "divorced", if that was an option... She said as far as she's concerned it's over. We just haven't bothered with the paperwork.

  • @Bob66 you are still very new to this community. You will encounter way more rejections and no responses than you will anything else. But I will tell you that the good ones don't care if you are married because they understand that what you are seeking is not a marriage replacement. It is a supplement, much like someone who takes vitamins. You eat regularly, but are aware that your diet may be lacking in one area or another, so you take vitamins or supplements to give what you are missing. As a married man who has been on to store for about a year and a half, I will tell you, there are great, quality cuddlers out there, (in your area, mind you, because I have met them). Just keep looking and pass by those who pass you up.

  • edited February 7

    I have been turned down because I am married. However my wife hates to cuddle. I need cuddling and she doesn’t care.

    Actually, @Bob66 is so new I am surprised that he's even had time to be turned down. Why generalize so quickly? How many times have you been turned down compared to how many cuddlers responded to you? Was it a professional or an enthusiast? Where did you "read so much about cuddling..."? Inquiring minds want to know...

  • edited February 7

    @Bob66:
    What I’ve noticed for months in the discussion forums here regarding this subject is:
    if you’re an attached/married man, you’re basically considered suspicious and presumed to be hiding your visits to the site from your female partner.
    But, if you’re an attached/married woman, it’s pretty much excused under any and all circumstances because your male partner is a typical cold heartless man and probably a douchebag anyway, and/or women aren’t the property of men and can therefore do whatever they want, and he just has to learn to get over it and not be so possessive. No contradiction there😒

    Personally, I think it’s highly unfortunate that anyone who’s already in a relationship - married or not - would be registered at a site like this. But, that’s none of my business. And, while I’m fully aware that this indeed isn’t a dating site and I don’t need to be lectured about nor reminded of that factoid (there’s never a shortage of people here who feel it’s their sworn duty to chastise and generalise men on that), I steer clear of the women whom aren’t single, as it just seems to send a mixed message. Not to mention that there really ARE women here who have no problem leading a horse to water, but suddenly get offended when they discover that it’s actually thirsty.
    I don’t know what reasoning the women who’ve apparently rejected you could possibly be using, but, if your intentions have been pure, it couldn’t hurt to just ask them directly.

  • It's rather disheartening to hear from so many people who are on here because their partner doesn't like cuddling. If/when I end up romantically involved with someone, this would be non-negotiable; if they aren't a cuddler then it won't work out. Touch is my primary Love Language and I can't see myself being involved with someone who either won't cuddle with me at all or will cuddle with me half heartedly.

    I agree with @RTL1970. The mindset generally is that if you're a man who is attatched or married to a woman then you're on here for something other than cuddling, especially if you don't have a picture up--that makes you look even more suspicious. If you're a woman who is attatched or married to a man then your husband is the one at falut.

    NOW, that's not to say that people CAN'T be at fault. I've heard from both men and women who are attatched and married who are having trouble being able to communicate touch with their partner as their partner may not enjoy touch as much. It happens. As a cuddling community we need to not jump to conclusions so quickly. I always assume that cudlders are here for A REASON. If you're looking for platonic affection, that reason is of no nevermind to me. Your business is your business and if I can help someone who is touch deprived, while being able to squelch my own touch deprivation then so be it.

    It's not a matter of whether or not married people should or shouldn't be on here. It's a matter of:

    1.) Why is there a growing number of touch deprived people who are in relationships?

    2.) Why must touch--not sexual touch, but the feeling of human contact--be reserved only for specific types of relationships?

    See, the "problem" with many people's midnset on touch is that touch is always purely sexual. Touch isn't about lust, or sex. It's about needing to feel anchored, safe, and secure in a chaotic and anonyomous world. If we can all get on the same page with that I believe that we all can grow and nurture our relationships with the people around us when it comes to conveying affection thorugh touch.

  • Hmmm. Interesting. I don't assume anything about anyone whose status is "married" except that they probably want some physical contact of some sort or they wouldn't be on here.

  • To be honest, I probably wouldn't cuddle someone who is married and in a monogamous relationship, especially a man. I find men often end up crushing on women they cuddle with, and it could very quickly turn into an emotional affair type of dynamic. If someone has serious unmet needs in their marriage, then they are even more prone to developing feelings for someone outside the relationship. I think men in this situation are much better off going to a group cuddle party or seeing a professional cuddler, to maintain boundaries.

    However, if the couple is openly poly or non-monogamous then I don't see a problem with it.

  • If someone is on the site because they aren't getting enough platonic cuddles, then I don't think their relationship should be an issue.

    Some men might be on the site, because they have a wife who will only touch them in a sexual way.

    I think some single female enthusiasts are on the site because they want some physical contact without the "standard consequences", and some single and married men are the same. When I am with some people, I have the attitude that "It is better to travel hopefully, than to arrive".

  • @geoff1000 you hit it in the nail for me. Sex isn’t a problem for me and my wife. Pretty satisfied there. But cuddling, holding hands, hugging, massaging, etc seems to be an issue. I thought women like to cuddle after sex. I’m hearing now a lot of married women don’t. Anyway. I miss the platonic touch.

  • Yeah married guy here. I am always upfront with those I am cuddling with about my situation and that I am married. To date I’ve only had one pro turn me down because I was married and after explaining my specific situation. But I was completely understanding in her reasons and did not fault her. Sometimes people have their reasons for not wanting to cuddle with married people just like married people have their reason for coming to the site.

  • It does not matter what someone thinks about married cuddlers, you have to respect the wishes of someone who chooses not to cuddle them. When you scan the cuddlers in your area (large metro areas) do you ask each and every one to cuddle? Of course not—everyone has preferences, standards and peccadilloes of their own.

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