For those of you who host enthusiasts for cuddling...

What's it like? What do you do to make your Cuddle Buddy feel safe and welcomed? As an Enthusiast, should I offer to go in half on a hotel room? Should I bring anything, food, wine, a gift to show how excited I am to be meeting?

Do you host in your home? If so, do you have a designated area, complete with plush pillows and soft scents? What is your thought process---is it more for your comfort or for that of your Cuddle Buddy's?

THIS SHUT DOWN WILL EVENTUALLY END... And I want to have my "Cuddle Manners" straight, so I can be an EXCELLENT Cuddle Buddy!

Question to Those Who Host: What is the experience like? What do you do in order to make your Cuddle Buddy feel safe and comfortable in your space? Should I pay half on accommodations? Should I bring anything, other than my fine, wonderful Self? Talk to me! Teach me the fine art of being a "wunnerful guest" Cuddler, by sharing what your part is!

Imajen

hiricky

Open Communication is key!
Talk to the person through site. Ask as many questions as you want. Make sure to talk about your comfort zone.
Exchange pics, call and talk on phone or vchat, first meeting in public place and if you feel comfortable proceed.
Make sure some one knows where and who you are meeting.
Good luck

leftee

I understand if you are meeting someone for the first time, you might want to go to a hotel, but any public space will do to meet someone. A park or movie theatre (with seats that recline, etc) works and won't put as much of a dent in your budget. I enjoy soft scents. Snacks get in the way, unless you are planning for a long cuddle.

Mrambitious32

10 days in and not much luck. Suggestions anyone?

pmvines

@Mrambitious32 you have only been here ten days that's no time at all really . You are also a make pro , no real market for it plus people aren't really cuddling like they used to . Pandemic and all .

@ImajenMoon I have hosted many times and am currently rethinking how I do it. But the following as some have already pointed out is important in having a safe and enjoyable experience.

1. Open communication about what you both want and expect. What to wear. Where to park. How long the cuddle will last. Where the bathroom in your house is.

2. If possible meet in public first before inviting anyone in your home. If you have people living with you like a spouse or children discuss it with them ahead of time and engage their comfort level with having another person in their space.

3. Have a dedicated space in your house for that. A bed or couch you only use for cuddling. In that space keep a humidifier, a vaporizer and aromatherapy oils handy. I have used lavender and tea tree oils and the aroma creates a relaxing and breathable space. Keep some kind of entertainment system in place. I often use my phone and you tube with a play list of my favorite instrumental, old school R&B, country and reggae music. Sometimes I switch it up. It depends on who I'm cuddling. I use blue tooth connected speakers to create a calming acoustics.

4. Plush pillows are great. I also use quilts and soft comforters. As I keep the temperature in my house in the 60 s. Some people are natural heat generators. And a cool room with comfortable clothing is all they need. Plus a cool comfortable room is far more appreciated than a hot one.

5. Greet your guests with a smile. A smile exudes warmth and openness. Watch their body language and respond appropriately. Watch your body language and be honest about your feelings. If you're feeling nervous say so. People appreciate that kind of openness. It makes them feel less nervous too.

6. Break the ice with small talk. Jokes. Small compliments. Tell them what to expect. Ask what else a part from what you both discussed and agreed to earlier they would like to do while cuddling. Ask their permission to hug them as a greeting. I often love to give crane hugs when I first greet my cuddle partners which some of my cuddle partners enjoy. Others are cool with just a firm handshake or fist bump. Some guys I've chatted on the phone with for months before meeting to cuddle and we have a soulful connection I dance for at the door. Very few have been lucky to get that from me though. Those that have been so lucky truly enjoy it. And it has set the stage for some of my most memorable and fun cuddle experiences. Everyone is so different.

7. Relax and enjoy. Lead the way with open ended conversation. It's nice to cook or offer a snack or whatever you both are comfortable with. Food can be very connecting and it makes time go even faster. However, remember that some folks don't like to eat from strangers. But it never hurts to discuss it with your potential cuddle partner.

8. I cooked some beef stew and chicken foot soup for a cuddle partner once and he cancelled on me. When I face timed the soup and stew with him he felt so bad he showed up unannounced at my door the very next day and had the nerve to ask if I had any left over for him to taste. I just laughed it off. I still cuddled with him anyway and offered what I had left in my refrigerator. Do what you and your cuddle partner is comfortable with.

Again relax, enjoy and don't overthink it. You will find that you naturally fall into that role as host after your first try. Best of luck and again enjoy it. Your partner will too.

@Mrambitious32 I agree with @pmvines. I have been here for about 7 months as an enthusiast with no luck. I know, I don't have a picture and I'm married, so I have those strikes against me. That said, I know being here for MONTHS without any cuddle form another enthusiast for us males is not uncommon. At to it the pandemic and, well ... Also, if you are hoping to make it as a male pro, I wouldn't be measuring time by days but by months (or years). Sorry buddy.

@Mrambitious32 No offense, but I'm legitimately curious about male pros... did you not look into this at all before making this account and waiting for 10 days for clients?

FYI there is no real market for male pros. There are tons of male enthusiasts on the site, way more than women, and thus there's no reason for somebody who wants to cuddle a man to pay for it.

@SanFranResident there are some reasons to cuddle a male pro rather than a male enthusiast (in theory at least, they only really apply to male pros who already have an established clientbase and there are very few of those on the site), it's just that they're normally outweighed by the fact that it also has a cost attached.

There do seem to be a fair few professionals who don't look into things before going through the process and the site really, male and female, but thankfully the vast majority go into it doing research and looking into it ahead of time.

SCREEEEEECH! HOLD IT. MAJOR THREAD DERAILMENT. NOT HAVING IT...

Original Thread Topic: TO THOSE WHO ACTUALLY HOST CUDDLE SESSIONS...PLEASE GIVE INSIGHT...

I asked this for a reason, and would like to receive instruction from people who have actually hosted cuddle sessions, whether in their own homes or otherwise. Could HOSTS please weigh in?
Thank you.

Imajen

P.S., Bles....Bles. You got me wantin' to come over your house, now! Don't encourage this behavior!!! lol

MrPaul

@ImajenMoon
What @Bles wrote was an excellent summary.

One of the most vital parts of the cuddling experience is establishing boundaries and getting verbal permission to touch and be touched in ways that you each want and enjoy. So, communication is key. Ask your partner for permission to touch them and be as specific as possible. It is ok to change your mind after giving an answer. Mutual respect is the path to a great experience.

Some other things you should discuss before meeting up?
1. Does anyone have allergies to animals, if present in the space?
2. Sensitivity to perfumes, aromas, incense?
3. If you choose to bring of make food, ask about vegan or vegetarian or food allergies beforehand.
4. Does anyone have a time commitment for another event following the cuddling?

I have not hosted, but I am speaking from the perspective of a guest. Another thing that has impressed me with the hosts I have visited is the cleanliness of the home.

As a guest, I provide lots of communication about when I begin my drive, my ETA, as well as the make and model and color of my car. I ask about where to park, and which door to enter when I arrive.

quietman775

I host, but not frequently. For my own security, I almost never host a first meeting in my own home; rather, I will get a hotel for a first meeting. If that goes well, future meetings can be at my place. I've hosted six enthusiasts and a bunch of pros, but I still prefer to be a guest.

As for my guest's comfort level, I think that starts with the profile description and karma reviews, and continues through the initial flurry of messages. Unlike with pros, where the discussion usually proceeds straight to booking, enthusiasts typically want to get to know each other before deciding to meet. Email, text, voice calls --- there have been enthusiasts who conversed with me for weeks (and occasionally, months) before meeting. And sometimes the first meeting is not a cuddle session, but a sit-down at Starbucks or some such place to see if the personal chemistry feels right. With all of that pre-cuddle contact, she tends to feel safe and comfortable with me in advance. The session is more like having a new friend come over, and not a lot of specific planning of "how can I make her feel safe and comfortable" is needed beyond the general things I would do for any casual guest: Be warm and friendly, make sure the place is clean, show where the coat closet and the bathroom are, etc. I typically offer something from a selection of beverages, but have never offered food; trying to keep things simple, light, and focused on cuddling.

sjb1973

I've hosted more than I've been a guest, and it's really good to experience both sides if possible. Things I think have led to a good cuddle sesh include:

Ask your cuddle partner what food and drink they like, and get some in. My offerings have ranged from tortilla chips to a full barbecue. No one wants to cuddle on an empty stomach. BUT... be ready for noisy stomach gurglings after a larger meal!

Get to know your cuddle partner in advance, if it helps you both. I've had looooong chats with prospective cuddle buddies, usually here or on WhatsApp. Be honest, open and curious, and find out what will make them feel comfortable and safe. (This isn't always essential - the person who has ended up being my regular cuddle partner wasn't hugely chatty before we met.)

Be open-minded about where you cuddle, and agree it with your cuddle partner on the day. On my first ever cuddle sesh, I'd imagined we'd cuddle on my sofa. But we ended up moving to my bed for comfort (at the suggestion of my cuddle partner). A different cuddle partner has only ever wanted to cuddle on the sofa. So, to contradict Bles a little, I'd say have several dedicated spaces in mind. (I have a hammock in my garden that I'm dying to use for cuddling post-lockdown.)

Play some music, and take turns choosing a song or album to play. Music's not only relaxing, but it can also mask those stomach gurglings mentioned above

Have a clean and tidy house. (Sorry, it's an obvious one.) If you're going to be cuddling on your bed, use clean bedding.

Take breaks from the cuddling if you need to, and agree an approximate time to end the cuddle sesh. You can always go beyond your agreed end time if you're both happy to.

Relax, let go and enjoy the cuddling :-)

Ultimately, I think the most important thing is to be flexible and talk openly with your cuddle partner before and during the cuddle. We're all different, and different things will make us feel safe, relaxed and comfortable.

Thank you all for your insights! I WOULD LOVE to host, but I don't see it happening in the foreseeable future. However, just having the chance to get the perspective of folks who actually HAVE hosted is kind of exciting, and informative! I AM SO AMPED ABOUT GETTING TO DO THIS...

It's exciting, and honoring, that the host puts so much thought and preparation into making the cuddle successful. I have to admit that I'm surprised there have been so many men who answered--- I'd have thought it would be the other way around! lol HURRAY FOR PROGRESS!!!

I still wanna go over to Bles' house, tho!

Imajen

pmvines

I have hosted and I try to not over think things. Just clean areas, room spray , pillow mist , clean sheets, clean body , breath mints and a snack or two maybe . Oh and clean bathroom , us guys can be rather feral lol

pmvines

And I do have a covered deck outside of my upstairs bedroom with a wicker loveseat . Its private and overlooks the backyard and woods . It's literally three steps from the door of the deck to my bed so that's a pretty cool part about coming to my house for cuddling

I HOPE THERE ARE TWO CHAIRS ON THAT BALCONY. I'M CATCHING THE NEXT THING SMOKING---EVEN IF IT'S AN OLD MAN ON A BIKE WITH A PIPE-- DOWN YOUR WAY!!! Photo evidence, and everything!!! lol

Imajen

pmvines

@ImajenMoon oh there is a loveseat two chairs and two tables plenty of room !

MissAdventurous

@pmvines looking mighty comfy there friend 😂😂

pmvines

@MissAdventurous it keeps the blood pressure down and urge to punch a dolphin in the face at bay