What we’re missing and other ways to get it.

me2

Since we’re going through a pandemic and finding people to cuddle up with can be tricky (even when not in a pandemic) I thought I’d start a thread on other means of getting some of the benefits we miss out on with a lack of contact.

One aspect of this is stimulating our vagal tone. It’s the stimulation of the largest nerve in our body, there’s research on many health and mental health being it’s that go along with it, and it’s something that happens through interacting with others and massage. Fortunately there are other ways of doing this. Singing, exposure to cold, probiotics, and deep breathing are some of them. So if you hum and eat yogurt in a cold shower you’re really doing yourself some good... on a side note, if you’re lonely, yogurt has billions of living organisms. Acidophilus is even able to survive the whole trip through your digestive system. It’s kinda like a cuddle on your insides...
Anyway here’s a link for stimulating your vagus nerve.

https://sass.uottawa.ca/sites/sass.uottawa.ca/files/how_to_stimulate_your_vagus_nerve_for_better_mental_health_1.pdf

Another thing we get from cuddling is oxytocin is shown to reduce stress among other things. Making and listening to music and having meaningful conversations with people (including active listening), yoga and meditation are some of the alternatives on this list.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-increase-oxytocin

Of course then when I look this stuff up I find an article that includes possible negative effects of oxytocin...

https://bebrainfit.com/increase-oxytocin/

Interesting...

Anyway, it seems petting animals is a great substitute for the benefits of cuddling as well. I wonder if petting plants and laying in grass would help too... I feel like there’s stuff about getting enough sunlight that can be helpful too but I don’t have the research at my fingertips and am starting to feel lazy.

Any other methods/tips for self managing what we miss from cuddling?

deefine

I hope playing with vagus nerve wouldn't interrupt my breathing...

I love laying in the grass. Why do people think walking barefoot in grass or laying in it and swiping my arms around is weird?! What's the point otherwise?

I wonder if oxytocin can be addictive...

PeopleLikeUs

https://www.human.online/

geoff1000

Managing for a long time without something, can mean losing the desire for it ; which may be good or bad.

me2

@PeopleLikeUs wow that’s a really neat website! What a cool idea...
@davebutton i think it’s more that breathing will positively effect your vagus nerve. Maybe there are positive effects the other way too? I don’t think stimulation of the vagus nerve could negatively effect breathing, though I’m not an expert. I think you may be right about the possibilities of oxytocin or at (least something related) being addictive. I know sex addiction is a real thing that people go through and have support groups for. From my limited understanding I thing it’s about the relationship with said chemical/experience vs chemical itself?

@geoff1000 i think you’re right about that. I’ve seen documentaries about extreme cases of children growing up isolated having a hard time connecting with people and accepting physical contact. There was a name for it but I can’t remember. I think the other thing that can happen on the opposite end is developing a scarcity mindset around contact. I think this can lead us to unknowingly (or knowingly) cross our own boundaries, be overly affected from missed opportunities, and/or vacillate between spending lots of time and energy looking for contact and feeling hopeless or fatalistic about it.
I guess if one gets better at not overly desiring/needing contact maybe it could be a good thing if it helps to make life easier and relationships healthier. I does seem like we function as social critters with contact being a healthy, important part of that overall though.

SILENCE

Just taking in for a moment what is around us and appreciating it as it is. Sometimes letting others have their moment even if it bothers or is inconvenient. Letting ourselves be at times regardless of how that makes us look to others.

While indulging the mindset of abundance. Whatever the universe brings is enough. Whatever the universe wants of me is enough where ever I am.

Just being still with the knowledge and acceptance that tommorow is another day, another moment in time.

A quiet gratitude for the space that is now.

geoff1000

@Bles
I like the scene in "Waterworld" where Kevin Costner's character complains at his passengers for being too loud.

I also enjoyed "A Quiet Place" mostly because the audience was silent throughout.

Most people think it is rude to heckle someone on a stage, but we are all in the audience of life. With reduced human activity because of the lockdowns, we can much more easily enjoy the sounds we'd have heard a century ago.

BrianL

@Bles Since I deal with tinnitus, silence is alien to me.

@BrianL not at all. Tinnitus as a condition creates your own normal for what constitutes 'silence'.
Yes you hear noise and you can't help that. Silence is not only physical. But mentally you can adapt to the noise you constantly hear.

Saying this is not to diminish the impact of your condition. Nor to dismiss the impact the constant noise has on your well-being. Tinnitus is a serious treatable condition.

Rather to make the point that whatever we're missing in this space that is called life our brain can compensate for it by adapting in whatever way it needs to function. A blind person compensates for lack of sight by sharpening his hearing. A deaf person adapts to the limitations of not being able to hear by paying greater attention to what he can see.
Silence is something that one can create in whatever space one exists even amidst noise. As a child I suffered painful ear fullness from chronic sinus infections that would make me hear ocean waves all the time. My ear was filtering nothing anyone said to me and I mouth read with the limited eyesight I had until prescription glasses and medication worked on my vision. My silence from the constant roar of ocean waves in my head was meditation with my finger and toe pads. When the ocean waves overwhelmed me along with the pain from swollen lymphs in my sinus cavities I massaged my finger and toe pads alternately until I felt so relaxed and soothed I no longer heard the crash of ocean waves filling up my ear canal. That was my mental and emotional silence that distracted me from that constant noise in my head. It was my mental adaptation.

That does not work for everyone. But in those painful years it worked for me. Not saying it would work for you either. To each his own.

That's what I meant when I say silence is not only physical. It's also the choice you make to adapt to or view one thing or another.

So my silence is your noise. Doesn't mean you can't create your own pause or non activity even amidst the constant noise you hear. That's silence too.

None of what I say here makes any sense to the mind that thinks in binary concrete terms. Silence is non noise. That's that. So it is.

It's really a matter of perspective.

BrianL

Silence is silence, it's not whatever is normal for a person. There is constant noise for me, no silence.

me2

@BrianL I was taught a grounding exercise a while ago that might be better for you in those situations? It was to look at 5 things (consciously acknowledge them, listen to 4, touch 3, smell 2, and taste 1. I would then see how much I could acknowledge all my senses at once. It’s an aid for being present in the body. I wonder if that would help to keep focus off the tinnitus in tranquil environments? That’s gotta be diffIcult man...

MonkeyNeedsAHug

@Bles