Deep conversations

I just wanted to say that I love when I’m cuddling with someone and the conversation gets deep. It adds so much to the whole energy of the cuddle session. Thank you to all and everyone that is willing to go to that vulnerable place in conversation. Thank you thank you I just feel so grateful right now.

Comments

  • @musebaby
    I think the emotional security of a cuddle, sometimes allows the emotional risk of some topics of conversation ; like a safety rope, allowing someone to risk climbing a rock wall.

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)
    edited July 2020

    Deep conversations?

    Would the OP mind defining what precisely she means by deep?

    What does a deep conversation look like for you?

    I only ask because depth of anything for me involves probing, questioning and at times very uncomfortable, controversial and truth bearing engagement with another. Often times it requires an investment of time and effort many are not able nor willing to make.

  • @musebaby ~ The discussion title immediately made me think of this: http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/

    And when I read what you wrote thought, "People on this site are amazing!"

    Whether during a cuddle or otherwise, I love that kind of connection with another. For me it could be a topic that's just about our basic interconnectedness, to revealing details of a trauma, to exploring random trigger thoughts or feelings. Whatever way it comes about, it's refreshing when gifted those moments to give and receive with openness and understanding and, even when there are tears involved, it just makes things better. 🤗

  • @musebaby A++

    There's nothing I enjoy more than when my cuddle-buds feel safe enough to open up to me about "deep" or personal topics. I think I'm probably way better at meaningful conversation, than just physical cuddles alone, and I know when combined they're my fave!

  • I would not be surprised to learn if scientists had established a link between enhanced oxytocin levels and increased trust.

  • @UCpaaHVg6u0
    Try Google search on "Oxytocin Trust". There's plenty.

    However, the evidence suggests that Oxytocin increases the trust between people who consider themselves similar, and can increase aggression towards those they consider dissimilar.

  • Agreed @musebaby
    The quality of the cuddle can often be judge by the depth of the conversation IMHO

    It is so surprising to me how easy it is with the right partner to let the Oxytocin flow so that even deep conversations can be effortless.

  • In a very good cuddle, I can't even remember my own name, far less have a meaningful conversation. 😀

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)

    How many of us are equipped to handle real buried traumas that our cuddle partners share?

    Traumas that many have buried so deep and masked with layers and layers of insecurities and self fulfilled truths it's not something they can even recognize in themselves. Traumas that manifest in triggers from a light or firm rub or touch of a hand or finger or a certain tone of voice, scent of a perfume or cologne or just a certain word or phrase.

    Some conversations are useful conveniences that sounds good to the ego. But mean very little when it comes to the cold reality of the required investment of time and effort to have such 'deep' conversations with a person. An investment that with the busyness of competing life priorities and schedules few people have the will or time or ability to make.

    And truth be told, the often inconvenient realities such deep conversations bring up that challenges one's own beliefs, values and life experiences are very difficult to digest. Realities that reflects some of one's own unconscious biases and assumptions about another. Biases and assumptions one is quick to deny and dismiss.

    It's good to have them. Depth is a quality one should try to strive for in any connection especially one as intimate as cuddling. It sure makes for the richest sessions when there is understanding and mutual respect.

    Still true depth comes from a place of genuine interest in and kindness toward another. Discerning while deferring judgment of another.

    How many of us are willing to do that?
    How committed is any of us to growing by learning about and from others even as we enjoy our oxytocin serotonin fix from one and done cuddles?

    For many on this platform who have been cuddling as a hobby for almost 10 years or more how much depth of a conversation has anyone has with cuddle partners?

    How much has such conversations really changed one's thinking and mindset in general and specifically to cuddling?

    Let's get really real now?

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