What things discourages you from responding to someone?

edited July 25 in General

I find it discouraging when I ask someone a question or two and they don't respond to all of them*, even if to say that they don't want to talk about a specific question. To be specific, I asked two questions recently and only one got a response.

In this case I decided to give a little nudge, I hope that it will not be an ongoing issue. Though sometimes I don't feel like responding anymore, unless the person asks why, because it sends me the message that what I ask is ignored.

  1. Have you experienced this?33 votes
    1. I have.
    2. I have not.
    3. I am not sure.


  • It may be confusing to readers that the question asked in your headline is different from the one asked in your poll.

    In any case, no non-pro has ever responded to any message I've sent, so yeah, you could say I've experienced this.

  • @SanFranResident the first question is general and the poll is relevant to the personal experience that I shared. Though overall I realized that I could have written the whole thing perhaps in a better way by putting my personal experience in the comment section.

  • I’ve gotten a mixed response rate - but I can’t be sure if it’s because the person is disinterested, too busy or simply not online. Distance can be a factor, as can age. My hunch also tells me that ‘gender’ may have something to do with it , as I assume more outbound opening messages are sent by people who identify as male than by people who identify as female.

  • edited July 29

    There are internal and external things that make many not respond to a message


    There are more male members. There are more male non pro members
    There are more pro female members

    There is a lot of life related issues that puts constraints on time, energy and interest: work , child care, elder care , volunteer schedules, long term relationships with partners who may or may not be aware of a partner's cuddling activity.

    Quarantine and social distancing restrictions that are still ongoing.


    Lack or loss of interest
    Fear and uncertainty driven by a changed social environment due to COVID-19 restrictions: masking and social distance and hygiene
    Deep reflections and reevaluations of what cuddling means in a changed social environment

    Indecision about how cuddling fits into a person's life and whether or not and how to tell a partner one wishes to cuddle

    Negative emotional or mental triggers by use of certain words and phrases in messaging and profile.

    Seeking a particular kind of person to cuddle with: personality, physical built and vibes presented and perceived

    General disappointment with life that hinders investment in communication or interest; broken relationship, separation and divorce, illness, relocation, death, job loss among many other things

    Seeking a distraction from life disappointments and pain that avoids commitment to or investment of thought or emotion on any level with anyone

    Seeking a new adventure or activity to explore that's relatively risk and commitment and investment free and fun. Messaging or profile to that does not fit in with that desire becomes burdensome and uninteresting.

    Feeling too needy to someone whose messaging and profile suggests unavailability

    Feeling triggered by another's judgement and or harsh opinions without knowing anything about character and personality

    Being hypersensitive naturally or due to healing or scarred wounds from previous relationships or life experiences

    Lack of self confidence and low self-esteem

    Having no friends nor the ability to make or maintaining them

    Aging and feeling a sense of self loath and self diminishing

    A general lack of interest or motivation to continue to get to know someone after a string of disappointing cuddle experiences

    And many many more.

  • @Lovelight: I have but...
    I just let them know they did not answer this question or rephrase. My questions are focused on platonic touching , how to cuddle, what to wear, how we mutually like to be touched, and etc.
    If those questions is not answered I tell them we don’t seem to be on same page and exactly why. With a happy cuddles elsewhere.
    Afterwards some have came back with I’m sorry I was not completely engaged and then have a real conversation.

  • What discourages me🤔. Not sure I should really say exactly because could be used as gauge as to what they need to say to close the cuddle deal when we are really not a good match.
    I say we need to be on the same page👍🏽

  • Oh, a whatever attitude is 👎🏽

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