Outgoing in person, Shy Online

Why is it that in person I'm the most outgoing person and I'll talk to anyone, about anything, at any time, but as soon as I get behind a keyboard I turn into the shyest person who is so afraid to start a conversation with anyone? I do nothing but lurk on any site I'm on, and it takes me so much deliberation before I even like a status or something. Even this took me months of deliberation, multiple attempts, and honestly, I've typed and deleted these few sentences about 9 times tonight. Most people I know are the complete opposite, why am I like this?


  • How comfortable we are with things we do ultimately comes down to our experience and experiences with those thoses.

    I'm guessing you lack experience talking with people online and as such, lack confidence doing so. There are also a lot of factors that apply when talking to people in person that can make it easier (just as there are factors for the opposite making it easier to talk online for some), and you're maybe having some issues communicating without being able to rely on those things. Things like facial expressions, tone of voice, genuine laughter etc which can make it easier to read situations and inform you how to respond.

    Talking to someone in person is very, well, personal. You can see their face. When you "message" someone face to face, you can see them, they're physically there. For some that can make things more awkward, for others less so. But if it's what you're comfortable with and used to then that's that and you'll have an easier time. The opposite applies as well. For some communicating online and taking away some of that personal aspect by having the other person be more of a mystery is nice because it's simpler, but on the other hand if you rely on that personal side of things more when communicating then you'll run into difficulties.

  • edited July 29

    I always compose my messages on here several times and most of the time I end up not posting them at all. If I do post, I inevitably edit the posts once or twice. I try to keep my posts to one sentence (I failed this time).

  • OP. It sounds like you feel self conscious and anxious around interacting with others via a computer screen.

    You sound like you also enjoy the immediate real time feedback of face to face human contact. The energy that comes from seeing someone's eyes, or facial expressions or just hearing the nuances in their voice is something that you naturally appreciate. As opposed to words on a screen in text. Words you are highly aware have many different levels of meaning that will resonate differently with different people. Communication is very important to you. Hence you are very careful with how you use words. Because once it is put in text it stays. And it's often difficult to clarify in the way that you can in person. So that's a challenge to you that makes you uncomfortable.

    It is truly important to you that you communicate when you interact. So having to always use text on many social media platforms is frustrating when you are choosy with how and what you say. Did I get you right?

    I do feel comfortable interacting both in person and online. For me it's about the human spirit and the choice to learn and grow.

    I will say stupid mess at times. I will upset or hurt or turn off people with my comments at times. Likewise I will say things that resonate with some people at other times. And I will also say things that reveal things or qualities in myself I don't like but provides a learning opportunity for me. A chance to grow. Either way I see it as a blessing.

    It's human to feel challenged when interacting online. It's also human to feel the same interacting in person. It's human. And it's okay.

    You live and you learn. Depending on whom you interact with. Depending on how you think and how you act. But you learn.

    I'm in no position to give you or anyone advice here on that or any other matter.

    And I won't.

    To each his own journey. To each his own thought. You do you. It is okay.🙏

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