How is everyone holding up during the pandemic? It has been a struggle for me. I live alone and haven't touched a human being in months.
Also live alone and haven't touched anyone in months. But I am definitely not touch starved!
Am more energized by the thought of being touched and valued. More grateful for the health I have and the privilege of being able to make and keep the few connections made and still in the making.
And reassured and lifted by the positive vibes and possibilities of growing one or two cuddles out of these connections over time.
Patience is my friend. And a belief in the organic flow of the spirit in the universe is my muse. That gives me content.🙏
I'm a LMT and I wouldn't say I'm starving but pretty much touch-malnourished.
@Bles, I still have my physical health, but being isolated for so long isn't good for your mental health.
Nor is being untouched worth losing the mind over. Went for almost 6 years without being touched by anyone: children, family, friends, anyone before joining this site. No hugs. No visits. No nothing. Only phone calls. Video chats.
Mind is still intact. Spirit is still alive and buzzing. Will never lose the mind over not being touched.
Very true it's not good for one's mental health to live in isolation. Not being touched by anyone does not mean being in isolation. It does not mean no or non contact. It does not mean no connection It just mean not being touched by or not touching another.
It may well be true that the emotional development of babies and children is affected by touch deprivation ; but adults who can communicate in other ways can probably cope better. The risk perhaps is that we lose the appetite for touch, and then have trouble accommodating a partner who wants it.
@geoff1000 - If I don't eat chocolate cake for a long time, I won't lose the appetite for it. And I won't have any problem accomodating someone with an ample supply of it.
I'm with you, @UKGuy. And @Mike403 I'm sorry you've been struggling.
Mike, I can appreciate where you are coming from. I, too, live solo. A pet can be a comfort but obviously it's not quite the same... For me, I was fortunate to meet up with a professional cuddler from here who I've seen regularly for two years this summer but it was only because we discussed the fact we both subscribed to the same lifestyle adjustments and social distancing practices and all that jazz before deciding we were comfortable with it. So even with that providing immense emotional steadying at that time, I still feel you big time. My best advice is to keep finding ways to connect with friends or kind strangers, indulge a little more in your hobbies or interests, find a new distraction or two to explore, and keep playing the long game. We are likely to see vaccines and/or improvements in testing at some point in 2021 that will help things return to some semblance of normalcy. Not a miracle drug or relief from a weather shift... Perhaps whatever comes will just make it easier to confirm we're healthy more quickly so we can meet up with friends or cuddlers with less trepidation. I write songs, use ASMR and guided meditation, rearrange my apartment, use a weighted blanket, and double my dog walks.. Little things every day. I hope you find things that work. Sending positive and healing vibes. Take care.
@LateNiteFriend , I've been seeing a pro for 3 years who stopped seeing me when all this began. I also work from home now so it has been a lonely experience. I never left the house except once a week to the grocery store.
@Mike403 I haven't left my house except to go to a friend's house to workout every morning at 10. I feel your pain but it's the world that we currently live in. Last Thursday was the first time I touched another human being besides hugging my parents since the pandemic started. @LVBlondie was such a breath of fresh air and as you can see by her profile, 20 other guys agree with my assessment. It's great to have someone that would like to see you again. We both kept our masks on and she did a little massage therapy.
Mike, I'm really sorry to hear that happened. I don't know your or her circumstances but hope something shifts for you soon and you can find the right pro to build something new with when the time is right. I'm working from home too, which was just extended to January. I'm grateful, given my feelings about our lack of overall progress, but I'm also finding these life adjustments.. Intermittently lonely. Just keep talking it out and finding ways to fill the empty spots. One day at a time. 👊
Been since 1995.
Tell me about it...
I was finding something to do to keep my mind off of things. I put this together while being stuck at home and bored:
https://1drv.ms/v/s!AklKQgFuN5Sqgbg6V61XsP2FZHanrg
I heard weighted blankets help.
I would try a weighted blanket if I had the opportunity.
I ♥︎ my weighted blanket!
I like your setup @Mike403. That's cool you found something to keep yourself busy but also set up something useful for relaxation with or without a cuddle partner.
@Mike403 that's an awesome space you created! Perfect for WFH and chill at home. I really dig the lighting effects. What songs were you playing btw? @JasonCuddles Kohls has the 12 lb Altavida microfiber one I picked up on Black Friday last year for $49.99 if that hits your range.
@LateNiteFriend I can't use it for WFH unfortunately. I work for a security company and have to use company issued equipment that has the right software on it and it connects to their VPN which blocks all non-work related traffic. It's another desktop with two monitors so I had to find space for that.
This is a link to the song I used:
The lights interact with what is being displayed on the monitors
@Mike403 This is so cool!!! It reminds me of a couple interactive installations they had at Bumbershoot a few years back. I could have stayed in that room for hours!
Anyway ~ Just amazing!!!
@JasonCuddles I just got a 20lbs weighted blanket on Amazon for $40.00 from Smart Queen
Tell me about it. I woke up the other morning and just started crying uncontrollably. I just let myself fall apart for awhile. Then I got up, made a cup of coffee, sat on the balcony and watched the hummingbird at my feeder, listened to the birds, watched the clouds. Went and worked in my (new since the pandemic) container garden. It passed. I’m afraid I’ll never get to cuddle again.
I have lots of pillows in my bed and pile them up against my back. It sort of simulates another person.
@Babichev , I have high-functioning autism(Asperger's Syndrome) which makes social interaction more difficult for me. I was seeing a pro off of this site who made me feel better than I did after seeing a trained therapist. The pandemic has been a struggle for me. I really need a hug so bad. I've been trying things to keep my mind off it. I go back to school in a week(for electrical engineering) so that should help.
@Mike403 Dude, thank you for sharing your setup/info about what you utilized. Very cool!
I hope you'll be able to find another pro in your general area who might be able to help. Or if that's not comfortable/possible now, the balance between your pet and a weighted blanket/pillow barricade might help. Also, it's not "touch" but if you search YouTube for "asmr girlfriend" or "asmr comfort," you might find some really great auditory messaging to give you some positive feels. There are even ones where you just hear a person sleeping/breathing... Put a Bluetooth speaker on the bed/pillow near your head and see if there is any benefit... It's free at least! 😁 On my of loneliest nights that kind of thing can be soothing.
I hope you all had a good weekend and get decent shuteye tonight!
@LateNiteFriend , been doing some gaming to help pass the time. Games look beautiful on my setup.
@Mike403 3 yeah they do! Madden and UFC have been a helpful way to pass time for me. They've come SO far since the original Final Fantasy and Mike Tyson's Punch Out! 😁
@LateNiteFriend , If it wasn't for the pandemic, J would still be playing on PS4. I used my stimulus check toward putting that together. It was about $2,000 total including the monitors and the lights.
I recently became a founding member at a new StretchLab in my area. The amount of physical contact “assisted stretching” involves is less than a cuddle but can still be fulfilling if you don’t focus on the non-affectionate nature of it. StretchLab is open despite the pandemic and I’ve gone every week since 7/6/2020.