Trolling Accounts & Incel Concerns 👨‍💻👺🎭

quixotic_life

If already asked and answered, please reply with the link(s) if available.

I have a growing concern around the, "this is a fake account so I can slam people but still keep up appearances" people.

That one of us could potentially be meeting up with someone, who we think is a good person based on their profile and karma but then turns out they're actually someone who has unresolved anger around cuddling, or CuddleComfort, or women, or....? is really scary because of the greater potential for the situation to turn dangerous.

How are these people dealt with, if at all? When an account like this is deleted, do they run some sort of e-mail or ip-address cross-check to nix the person's "nice" account too? Are they put on some kind of watch list somewhere or reported to authorities?

Incels (/ˈɪnsɛlz/ IN-selz), a portmanteau of "involuntary celibates", are members of an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.

Here on CC it'd be, Unable to find a FREE or Cheap cuddle partner despite desiring one.

My concern is rooted in the reality that there are reports of more and more incels and incel groups popping up.

"Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex (cuddles?), and the endorsement of violence against sexually active (cuddily?) people.

So how are we (CuddleComfort and users) safeguarding against this?

PM me if you actually know how CC does things, but would rather not advertise to trolls how to further beat the system.

~ thank you ~

pmvines

@Mark @SoulcuddlerZ @reurbo

I strongly suspect that all of those recent outbursts are the same person. I could be wrong though.

"Here on CC it'd be, Unable to find a FREE or Cheap cuddle partner despite desiring one."

By that definition, probably 90% if not more of men on CuddleComfort are incels.

quixotic_life

@SanFranResident ~
ACK!!! That isn't what I meant!!!

quixotic_life

OP Revsion

Incels (/ˈɪnsɛlz/ IN-selz), a portmanteau of "involuntary celibates", are members of an online subculture who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.

Here on CC one who is an incel may define themselves as unable to find a FREE or Cheap cuddle partner despite desiring one.

---☆---
@SanFranResident ~ Thank you for catching and mentioning the way that read. It certainly wasn't my intention. Is this version better?

geoff1000

I'm reminded of the expression "When push comes to shove", which means "When resistance is met, so the force is increased to achieve the objective". If I push at a door, it either opens easily or doesn't ; but if I shove at a door, that means it is not opening easily but I really want it open.

Many of us desire things we have been unable to get. One problem comes when people resort to unacceptable methods of obtaining the result ; and some people have a different idea of "unacceptable". The other is when they take out their anger, on those who are seen as responsible for denying them what they seek.

If something can be bought, we can make a choice between things. Someone who gives up many desirable objects or experiences, will have much more disposable income ; so the thing they really want becomes ( a smaller amount of their disposable income = ) cheaper. Getting what we "really" want, is sometimes just a matter of giving up what we "quite" want.

Things which cannot be bought with money, can sometimes be bought with effort ; or the odds of obtaining it can be improved with effort. Someone who is fluent in several languages, including maybe sign language, has a better chance of many things in life, than someone who is barely competent in one. Having a wide range of interests, helps a conversation. Skill at first aid, or being physically fit ; would be good in an emergency, and some relationships start that way.

However, it is much easier to simply complain, and find like-minded people to share their unhappiness with ; which strengthens their feeling. These discussions can probably be likened to the "radicalization" which leads to terrorism.

@quixotic_life I am not offended, so don't feel the need to change your statement on my account.

That said, as far as I can tell your new statement defining an incel on CuddleComfort is basically identical to your previous statement. The large majority of men on CuddleComfort would like a free cuddle partner but are unable to find one. Hence by your definition they are incels.

Maybe the distinction you're not articulating is that what makes this problematic for you is not the fact that these men are unable to meet their needs, but that some of them express their frustration in destructive ways.

pmvines

@SanFranResident I would also add that not just the expression is troublesome, but the concerns acting acting on those frustrations. Some instances it can lead to violence and rape. There are some really emotionally unstable people on this site who are hair triggers. Most aren't, but the ones who are can get kinda excessive .

hugonehugall

I don't enjoy Chipotle .. Some would find that unstable behavior. @quixotic_life @SanFranResident by your definition all men on CC are incels. I freely admit I'm frustrated by the lack free women to meet up with. But I understand it's something I'm not entitled to nor do I think there's some grand conspiracy afoot ( ooh I like that word afoot ) that's forcing men to pay for cuddlers or that in some deep corner of the internet women are conspiring us to do so.

Sheena123

Whew.... the men were almost on to us, ladies! Lol 😂

pmvines

@hugonehugall chipotle only makes for an unstable stomach

pmvines

@Sheena123 almost .....so close !!

pmvines

Yes of course it is the amount of pros on here that are leading to a shortage of non pros . Has nothing to do with weird creepy men

hugonehugall

@Sheena123 I'll get to the bottom of this one day !

Sheena123

😹🤣😹🤣

hugonehugall

@pmvines I just think it's overrated for what they charge.

I have to say that society is not kind to incels. It used to be that you could overcome superficial flaws by being an enjoyable person to be around, but more and more I began to notice that couples might initially hook up with each other based on superficial attraction, then turn it into a relationship if they could actually stand to be around each other, or maybe even if they didn’t. I think most incels are sad, lonely, and ashamed, but not dangerous. In a world where we increasingly seek to make things fairer for disadvantaged people through legislation, the incels are really left out in the cold.

Mike403

The "i'm a nice guy so you gotta pay attention to me" posts just shows that they are anything but nice. A truly decent guy just tries to be a good person and doesn't expect anything in return.

I never got a non-pro to reply to me, but I'm not too worried. I'm in school working on my engineering degree which is something that will actually matter.

hugonehugall

Im not a nice guy at all .. I push little old ladies out the way at the grocery store , I don't recycle , I take more than 12 items through self checkout

Sheena123

@hugonehugall you absolute monster! You’re my kind of people lol!!

@hugonehugall Screw you! I hate when people take too many items through the express lane!

I will say that people who call themselves incels seem to have changed a lot. I was aware of the incel community in the early 2000s before it was widely known, and at that time they seemed a little pathetic but pretty harmless. They were people you could sympathize with. Things have changed now.

That said, the problem of having tons of frustrated men who strongly desire affection from women but can't find (much of) it is not new, not specific to this site, and is not going away any time soon.

@SanFranResident make yourself a desirable person to spend time with

@123Cuddle123 ???????

geoff1000

I recycle a lot of old rubbish ; mostly jokes.

DomLarkin

When you define a person by a word (incel, thot, boomer, karen), you dehumanize them.

Mike403

I feel sorry for anyone whose actual name is Karen.

Melancholy

I dont use that karen expression because I feel bad for women named karen who are perfectly wonderful people.
Also incels are so clueless.
They are fairly easy to spot though.

UCpaaHVg6u0

@DomLarkin "incel" is a self defined community, and not a stereotype label attached to victims. Since they are putting themselves out there, it's valid to discuss what they say they are. I think it's a false belief, that people are involuntarily celibate. Men are privileged, and my perception is that these young men are finding that their expectations of privilege are unmet by empowered women. If they changed their beliefs, they could also be empowered.

pmvines

Personally for me I define an incel by behaviors and beliefs , not by anybody's lack of ability to find love or any of that. The term and group identity was actually started by a woman who herself was unable to find love and was lonely and began an online forum about it . However in recent years it has become identified with misogyny , resentment, and in extreme cases the promotion of violence and rape. That is to me what makes an incel . Not simply someone who is lonely and feels unloved cus there are plenty of people in that category who are not a potential threat and are genuinely awesome people

geoff1000

@UCpaaHVg6u0
"I think it's a false belief, that people are involuntarily celibate."
Indeed, perhaps they are just setting their standards too high. Someone who wouldn't eat a piece of dry bread ( unless gluten intolerant etc. ), cannot say they are starving. Hollywood and the porn industry must perhaps take some blame for that.

The word "incel" is probably like the word "addict".

An addict is not merely someone who engages in an activity, but someone who is seriously affected by the consequences of the urge to engage in it, to such an extent that they are defined by that urge.

An "incel" similarly is not merely someone who has an unmet sexual / romantic desire, but someone who is seriously emotionally affected by that desire being unmet.

We presumably would not include in that definition, a boy who wakes up one morning to find his puberty has awakened adult desires.