I really hate COVID and I don't see next year being any better.
@Mike403 I have thought similar before but just try to only cuddle those that I believe are safe. So far so good!
Here's a virtual hug for you!! It's a difficult time now, but we have to stay positive and focus on our mental health.
Hugs, my friend. It’s tough on many of us. We are all here with you.
@Mike403 Staying isolated isn't a sustainable long-term solution for sure. 😞 I would encourage you to find someone you trust and who can agree to a similar level of precaution as you are taking in your day-to-day life. Wear a mask if that helps comfort with the interaction. I participating in an online talk on this exact subject. It's very important... 🤗
An hour of cuddling, involving a square foot of skin-skin contact, is likely to be difficult ; in this time of cuddling "drought", we may have to learn to be satisfied with less.
@Mike403 Trees like hugs too. 🌳+🤗=💞 I know it's not the same ~ But there's something both grounding and uplifting to it nonetheless...
Hey... see that left arm? Cross it over your chest and flop your hand onto the backside of your right shoulder. Now take that right arm, cross it over the left flopping your hand down on the backside of your left shoulder.
Now, tell each hand to give you a couple pat-pats, then a couple rub-rubs, then get a good grip, inhale nice and deep, and squeeze the heck out of yourself for 30 straight seconds, and release.
Shake your arms out at your sides letting some of those worries fall to the floor. Sweep or vacuum as needed (don't be leaving worries laying about the place ~ left untreated they're liable to stain).
(((((HUGS))))) ♡
@quixotic_life, if trees had a heartbeat I would hug them all the time!
@CelestialTouch ~ They kind of do...
@quixotic_life Mark Twain suggested hugging a tree, as a good way to prevent sea-sickness.
@ubergigglefritz - I'm not too worried about the virus myself since I don't have any family other than my parents whom I rarely see. I wonder if any pros in my area are still cuddling. I've just been uncomfortable with asking anyone right now. A lot of them are only doing virtual cuddles which isn't the same thing.
I am struggling so bad right now. I was seeing a cuddler once a month and it stopped after February because of Covid which was understandable. I texted her a couple of times afterwards just to check to see how she was doing and she was okay. After a while she stopped responding to my texts. One day some random guy answered a text telling me to stop checking up on her and she wasn't meeting me anymore. Lil back story, my cuddler at the time was going through 2nd divorce and she basically said she was done with relationships but I always told her not to give up and hopefully she will find someone who will treat her the way she deserves. Middle of July I get a message saying her phone was stolen and she lost her contacts. We scheduled a meeting date and I was excited. The day before, she cancelled on me and said she would reschedule at a later date. We had a hurricane to come through the area earlier this month and the day after I texted her to check to see how she was doing. Basically she responded back by saying she was okay, but not to text her anymore because she was in a serious relationship and she wasn't able to do cuddle sessions anymore. The last part of the text was Goodbye and Good luck. I was shocked and angry because we had known each other over a year and even though it was strictly client relationship I thought we were at least friends. Once I thought about it some more and realized that basically I was paying for a service and nothing more I wasn't mad anymore. If the shoe was on the other foot and I had been the one to get into a relationship with someone, I would have done the same thing. So no harm, no foul. Doesn't change the fact that I miss having someone to cuddle with so badly. I'm in a place where everyone around me is hooked up, dating, or married and I'm the only single one sticking out like a sore thumb...
@mallymal - A cuddler I was seeing suggested to try a meetup group (www.meetup.com). I have high-functioning autism(Asperger's Syndrome) which makes social interaction more difficult and there was a group specifically for somebody like me.
@DonLonG ~ Lol ~ The best!!! 🤗🌵💖
I don't know if you people notice but @ILikeWarmHugs, you are a freaking ray of sunshine and caring.
@mallymal Arranging to meet, then either cancelling or not showing, isn't nice ; but I think it can be used to force a break. If it makes you angry, you are less likely to want to contact them again. It's like a girl with long hair that you like, cutting it short, so taking away a reason you liked them ( I read that advice being given to a girl ).
Many relationships, of various kinds, are like war romances ; we hope they will endure, but they can be cut short by factors outside our control.
I can't remember if the source is a movie or TV series, but after a character loses a girl, a friend says to him, "Girls are like butterflies ; if you really love them, you have to let them go". Another friend says, "No, they're like buses ; there's another one along in a minute".
A friend once advised me to have more than one girlfriend at a time ( as if finding one, was so easy ☹️ ) ; so if one relationship goes bad, you can fall back on the other. Maybe not very nice for the ladies concerned, but it makes sense if you are seeing pro-cuddlers. Have a regular, but perhaps 1 in 10 times, see a different one, even if only for a conversation. That might also prevent too much unhealthy attachment.
@littermate thank you for that. Hugs for you too! ❤️
Great Advice @geoff1000 !!!
@ILikeWarmHugs
@geoff1000 "Have a regular, but perhaps 1 in 10 times, see a different one, even if only for a conversation. That might also prevent too much unhealthy attachment."
This is good advice but I would actually take it further. I would recommend changing it up much more often than that; don't see any pro more than two times in a row. Feeling any significant attachment to a pro cuddler is 100% a mistake.
@SanFranResident I think you're probably right ; your way would be better, for all parties involved. 👍
Maybe that should be in the "advice for newbies" section.
If you're not worried about yourself, massage is always an option when things aren't totally shut down. It's worth mentioning that someone who was in contact with someone who has the virus only has to quarantine for 2 weeks before they're safe again. Especially if somewhat isolated for 2 weeks following the contact or otherwise distancing and wearing masks, I see no reason why someone couldn't make the choice to see a pro cuddler or try to connect with a touchier friend or acquaintance through social media or see a massage therapist.
Sometimes, I think we are waaaaaaaaaaaaay stricter on ourselves than those who enjoy touch ever single day are on themselves. I've totally seen married and coupled up people putting their arm around others not in their core household to take a photo completely unmasked...or hugging others (again completely unmasked). Now that things have been open for some time in my area, there are a lot of people who don't live alone who are working and in other ways in close contact with a variety of people and they think nothing of this.
Perhaps, this is why we have the struggles with lack of touch that we do even when there's no virus. We spend a lot of time being sensitive to others needs and feelings and may struggle to ask for what we need.
@SanFranResident Only 2 times in a row? I cuddled same person 3 times in a row, I forgot how long in between sessions but I prefer to have same person who I am familiar with and who is familiar with me already. She was like a therapist to me and I thought nothing more of it...I was in a real down time and it helped significantly, plus she respected my time and each cuddle was better and I was more relaxed each time. I understand where your coming from though, people are more prone to attachment with cuddle therapy.
Thanks for the advice
