virtual cuddles!! really??

bose_ashish

what is with all the professional cuddlers offering virtual sessions. i know they want to make some money, but if virtual cuddle was satisftying enough people would not have even paid for in-person cuddles and this website would not have even existed. Curious to know if anyone is actually paying for virtual cuddles.

rob241

Well I think it's because of the pandemic 😮

Sheena123

I can tell you as a pro, I get a lot of people booking a skype session with me. I know other pros are getting sessions as well. We are all very aware that it isn’t the same thing which is why mine are only $15/hour but it’s a great form of communication and connection that some just can’t get. Some people are put in very lonely predicaments especially with the pandemic, and they don’t have many people they can converse with.

I’ve found that although a lot of men I chat with have friends, they just don’t have anyone they can be vulnerable with and talk about emotional things or just have a decent conversation without worrying about judgement.

It’s sad to say that keeping social distance has made doing virtual sessions more prevalent. They’re probably here to stay for quite a while.

Just remember, just because it isnt something you fancy, doesn’t mean others don’t find value in it 😄

geoff1000

Watching a movie isn't as engaging as being in the real situation ; if it were, no-one would go on holiday.

Those of us who can't visit our friends and family, will sometimes phone them with voice or video ; and while it isn't as good as a real visit, some people get an emotional "lift" out of it. It is more than simply exchanging information.

Some people complain at use of the term "virtual cuddle", but we need to find some term to describe it.

If I watch a horror film, I can remain detached. I think of the other movies that the actors have been in, wonder how they made the fake blood, or consider the rapid switching of LCD pixels that creates the image. Alternatively, I can allow myself to be "misled" by the experience, to be engrossed in it. Some people can even do that with books.

Some people gain solace and confidence from religion or spirituality ; but is it for those who don't, to say they are deluding themselves ? Those who only engage in cuddling when it is romantic or sexual, might equally ask what the point is of platonic cuddling.

A famous mountaineer was once asked why he climbed mountains.
He replied, "If you have to ask the question, the answer won't mean much to you".

Radioboy68

I get it yet I don’t get it. When I was a teenager the thing to do back then you had a girlfriend wish to follow sleep on the phone with them mind you this is before cell phones. So that was a thing I mean I guess this is kind of the same but I’m not paying for cuddling win, you guessed it, we’re not cuddling. Then again I’ve never had a cuddle session ever. So dunno

geoff1000

Some people wouldn't pay for a physical cuddle, so they presumably wouldn't pay for a remote one either. It might be different if one has previously, and / or might in the future, cuddle with that person ; more difficult if physical contact with them is certainly impossible, though people buy lottery tickets for an outcome that is vanishingly unlikely.

It's hard to make a comparison between two things, unless you have knowledge of both.

The comedy "Blackadder" has a scene about someone's eyes being reportedly "as blue as the blue stone of Galveston" ; though very few people have seen either, and almost none have seen both.

"if virtual cuddle was satisftying enough people would not have even paid for in-person cuddles and this website would not have even existed"

• Virtual cuddles are (almost always) cheaper than physical cuddles.
• Virtual cuddles can be done long distance which cuts down on time, stress and risk for everyone involved.
• There is currently a global pandemic going on.

Virtual cuddles for the most part aren't really an alternative to physical cuddles, more like a temporary replacement. There were already some people doing virtual cuddles before covid but they weren't nearly as widespread or popular.

The fact that people are paying for virtual cuddling sessions is evidence enough that while they aren't as satisfying as actual cuddling, they are effective enough for some people. As others have said just because it doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean it's not something good, if virtual cuddles are enough for even a single person on this site then that's justification enough for them to be around.

Mike403

The only thing I have a problem with is the term "virtual cuddles". You aren't cuddling.

geoff1000

@Mike403
What succinct term would you suggest for a voice / video call, which has the emotional connection of a cuddle, to emphasise that aspect ?

The word "virtual" is used for many other activities which are carried out remotely, but were historically done face to face. Even movie "theaters" use a word which for hundreds of years, meant an in-person experience. "Phone sex" isn't physical sex, but the term is self-explanatory.

Are "lab grown" diamonds, actually diamonds ? I'm personally not a fan of the term "vegetarian sausages". I also don't like "black belt" for a person skilled in something other than martial arts ; it feels like wearing a medal to which one is not entitled.

Mike403

@geoff1000 - I don't like the term 'phone sex' either. It consists of talking about sex, not having it.

geoff1000

@Mike403
If I call up my mate and tell him in detail about my great night with a porn actress, we would be talking about sex ; but that is different.

The key is to recognise what elements of something are necessary constituents of it, and which are merely historical. "Plumbing" and "plumber" are derived from the Latin word for lead, which was traditionally used, but very rarely now.

An autistic person complained at the term "get on a bus" when one actually gets "in" a bus, probably historic from before they had a roof.

Rick234

Hell no! Absurd.

Mike403

@geoff1000 - If a virgin has 'phone sex', are they no longer a virgin?

TouchSanctuary

I just call it a virtual session rather than virtual "cuddling" as I feel like that's a bit of a misnomer. What I do is more like mentoring, emotional support, and reflective listening. I also teach Emotional Freedom Technique if people want to do some deeper emotional release work, and oracle card readings for those seeking some inspiration, encouragement or guidance.

TouchSanctuary

I will say though that I have received long distance energy healing and in some cases I found it just as - if not more - powerful than what I have experienced in person. One time I did a session with a very gifted practitioner (Myree Morsi) and it was just as soothing as receiving an in-person cuddle or reiki session. I was honestly amazed as I didn't think that was possible, but it showed me that energy can transcend physical distance. I would like to do some reiki and energy healing training courses as it showed me it can be a wonderful healing modality.

geoff1000

@Mike403
Bill Clinton said of Monica Lewinsky, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", even though many people would say it was misleading.

Virginity is a good one to discuss. Does it include interactions between other body parts, or only two sets of genitalia ? If so, how would that apply to gay sex ; is one party still a virgin but the other isn't ? What if the participants are doing it to themselves, rather than each other ?

I feel a good starting point would be : how would you feel if your teenage daughter were doing this activity with a middle-aged man ? Would you be fine if they were video-conferencing between continents ? If you would disapprove, it's probably sex.

I'm still hoping you can provide an alternative term, which succinctly conveys the meaning.

pmvines

So many hairs being split I feel I am quickly going bald

@Mike403 "The only thing I have a problem with is the term "virtual cuddles". You aren't cuddling."

Maybe it's not the perfect term, but that's why the word "virtual" is there. Virtual implies it's not the real thing, right? If I said "Hey, let's virtually shake hands", you might not know what the heck I mean by that, but you'd know we weren't actually going to shake hands, right?

Anyway, to @bose_ashish 's original question, I don't think anyone thinks a video chat is equivalent to a cuddle, but you might have noticed there's this pandemic going on and consequently cuddles are less available. Also virtual sessions are cheaper (usually). So it makes sense doesn't it?

BeyondCuddles

@bose_ashish thanks for posing this question! As a pro, I started offering sessions that I call Beyond Cuddles in response to clients reaching out wanting to connect because they missed having someone to talk to who would really listen, or because they hadn't had much human connection at all. It quickly became obvious that many of the same needs that are being addressed during an in-person cuddle (intimacy, emotional connection, mental stimulation) were still there and had actually been amplified by the isolation and stress of lockdown.

I'm a UCLA-trained mindfulness teacher, transformational guide and professional musician, so what I offer in Beyond Cuddles is beyond lol what you'd get from other pros on this site. I began just offering Beyond Cuddles generally, and then I found that there were different needs that various clients wanted to focus on, so now I have options: Beyond Intimacy, Beyond Stress, Beyond Fear, Beyond Pain, Beyond Stagnation, and Beyond Communicating. All of these are areas where some people need support in their daily life interactions, and yet don't have an outlet right now due to the pandemic, so I can provide that safe and nurturing space.

My in-person rate is $111 with a two hour minimum, so charging $60 an hour for Beyond Cuddles is reasonable to me. I know other pros charge less, and I know the services being provided vary from person to person, so each person can make the investment that feels worth it to them. Pro in-person prices vary widely on here, as well.

People are paying for virtual cuddles for so many reasons - safety, accessibility, risk etc., but I don't think it's an either-or scenario. Virtual cuddles can satisfy in ways that an in-person session might lack (sometimes you get so relaxed being touched that you don't get to process what's been frustrating you or really even get to know the person you're cuddling very well) just as in person cuddles satisfy sensory touch deprivation in a way that virtual cuddles literally can't.

I really appreciate the humor and insight @geoff1000 is bringing to this thread, too!!

deefine

@bose_ashish It's as good you allow it be or make it. Cuddling is as much a mentality as it is physically for me. If I feel I got what I wanted or needed out of a virtual, then it's good as a real cuddle. I've had some bad in-person cuddles where I felt worse than virtual ones. At the end of the day I need a conversational cuddle sometimes. Just comfort from all of the trash I see and hear and feel all day. If you can find comfort in connecting with someone in a virtual cuddle, then I'd say you've done the purpose of this site. I've definitely had a lot less flakes virtually. I'd take virtual over nothing. Many others would. We're in a pandemic, so it's a lot easier to justify. And not everyone has a lot of choice locally or actually feel up to physically doing what they want but just want the feeling of relating in that way. Each their own