@Mark thank you for clarifying that
@pmvines is it possible that the male pros you are referring to feel safer with women
Well Mark's response feels a little sad. 😞
@cuddlerforu24 I can understand that , everybody has their preferences re comfort and safety. My question wasn't asked to gauge whether men should feel ok with cuddling men , just had thought I heard before that pros were expected to cuddle all genders. And if that is the case , are male pros held to that same expectation
I think it's more that our culture doesn't allow for men to cuddle with men. It's a cultural discomfort. That's supposed to be one of the benefits of male professionals, for men to be able to explore and learn how to be comfortable being in close proximity with other men.
In the UK Nordic Cuddle now offer a formal training programme. It's certified by two external bodies.
https://www.nordiccuddle.com/course
I'm a repeat client, and I can't recommend them highly enough. One of my sessions was the second ever session of a new professional, and the effects of the course were very obvious. It's clearly excellent.
It's partly practical, and obviously there's a problem with extending that. However, it's partly theoretical and presumably that section could be done remotely.
@CuddleDuncan I'd be really curious to hear how the course made a difference in the quality of the sessions - what specific aspects were better or different? I'm currently studying with Cuddle Professionals International but interested in other courses too.
@TouchSanctuary I don't know exactly what's in the course, but I do know that it encourages delivery of a consistent experience from therapist to therapist and session to session. There is a strong emphasis on boundaries, and it owes more to psychotherapy than anything I've seen on here.
The essence is about caring for the client. Very strongly. Making the client feel held. This is not a mutual experience, it is about a flow of care in one direction, in the same way that the flow of care is one way when you are cuddling a baby or somebody very ill.
As an example, a trained cuddle therapist would never invite the client to be big spoon. I have asked NC therapists to be little spoon, and they agreed, but they are clearly not really comfortable with it. It's very hard to make somebody feel cared for in the moment if they are big spoon.
I would encourage you to have a chat with Rebekka, the founder at NC and creator of the course. She's really nice. Her TEDx talk is online: she was a little nervous but it's very good. Here in the UK she is in the media a lot.
Edit: @TouchSanctuary No, WAIT!!! I forgot the most important thing! Last I heard, Rebekka reports zero repeat zero unpleasant experiences in over 1,000 hours of cuddling sessions. In other words, the training helps the professional to present themselves in a way which inspires the right kind of response in male clients.
Interesting...I'm not sure I would agree with part of that training. Some people (like myself during the pandemic) don't have enough opportunity to give touch in their lives; holding can be just as therapeutic as being held. Imagine holding a kitten or a puppy: is the kitten or puppy really the only one who benefits?
One of the two pros I've met outside of this site trained through cuddlist.com, and worked closely with one of its co-founders beyond the usual training. She encouraged exploration of all four quadrants of the "wheel of consent" during our sessions.
@mtp You're quite right. It's a very important point, and it is one that I have mentioned to them.
I think we might end up with two schools of cuddling: the purely therapeutic school, and the bidirectional school. Equally good, just different.
I can say, from my own experience, that being truly 'held' is a wonderful thing. There is great freedom and great peace in the moment of not having to care about the other person.
This is not a mutual experience, it is about a flow of care in one direction, in the same way that the flow of care is one way when you are cuddling a baby or somebody very ill.
Kind of weird to me. Not what I want out of cuddling 95% of the time. I’d usually rather the person I’m cuddling feel cared for rather than worrying about caring for me.
@CuddleMeLater Well, that's exactly the point. Being truly cared for is an experience that you have barely had as an adult. The therapeutic kind of professional cuddler can create it for you. You may find the experience quite difficult.
Depending on the pro you book, most will cater to what you want. I’ve had some that want to be held and soothed, and others have had me watch YouTube videos while they massage my shoulders for an hour lol
Every cuddle is completely different so as long as the pro cares for what makes you comfortable, it can go either way! Like I’ve read in other threads, you pay for their time, but the caring is free! Pick and choose what makes that time valuable to you ☺️
I suspect it's like any other unregulated profession; people will have a variety of skills, education and experience. Given that there are no set standards or requirements, it's a buyer-beware market. Read profiles and forum participation to get a sense of their skills and experience... formal, informal and related.