Covid sucks. Missing human cuddles. But my dog has been getting lots of cuddle time with me, so that's good.
@misternatureboy I haven't been cuddling them ; but the local squirrels and wild birds are getting so used to me, that I can now walk within about a yard before they run / fly off. That's closer than social-distancing coronavirus rules. 😀
It's not sustainable. I recommend expanding your germicule to include someone you trust, engaging in the same preventative risk measures that you are, where you both agree to the same precautionary measures and the same activities and situations to avoid, so you can get your connection needs met. We all are making our own decisions, but I just don't believe it's sustainable to stay isolated and distant in the long run. =(
@ubergigglefritz you're 100% right.
@ubergigglefritz Extra points for "germicule" 😀
I was talking with a young teenager, who said, "I watch loads of horror movies, and they haven't affected me". The fact that he was able to watch so many, means they have affected him ; like a drug addict becomes able to survive, a dose which would be lethal to a beginner.
In the James Bond book of the movie "The Spy Who Loved Me" he is rigged up to be genitally tortured for information. The bad guy explains that the pain will initially get worse, but if he is mentally strong enough, he will be able to endure that, and eventually it will stop hurting, adding, "But by then, you will no longer be a man".
My biggest concern over being "touch starved" for want of a better term, is not that it would be emotionally painful ; but that I would adapt to no longer miss it. I am "happy" to report that I'm not there yet.
A Russian author was thinking of defecting to the West. His wife told him to go alone, because that was the only way ; whenever they were together, the KGB surveillance was too tight. After he'd gone, the KGB did not arrest or torture her, but permanently staked out her house with a car, to make sure she wasn't spirited away to join him. A decade later, when the Wall came down and they were reunited, the wife explained how the KGB car had kept her sane. "I had no contact with my husband, no letters or phone calls, no way to know if he was still alive. I eventually realised that the KGB were only watching my house, so that I could not be taken away to join him ; and if he was dead, they would stop bothering. Each morning I got up, looked out of my window, saw the car, and smiled, knowing for certain that my husband was still well. KGB surveillance was supposed to be intimidating, but it kept me going through those dark times ; and if they'd ever missed a day, I'd have believed my husband was dead, and given up".
Our emotions can be unpleasant, but they remind us what we value, which can be worth it.
@Melancholy thanks. 😇
@geoff1000 you are so right. And your final point is beautiful. Exactly how I feel. I thought I was alone in valuing all emotions, even the hard ones, because they make me feel human and alive. 😇
And I can't take credit for "germicule". I learned it from a seminar I took from cuddle sanctuary about getting our needs met during the pandemic. 😉
@ubergigglefritz On a scientific note ; if I drop something fragile and it breaks, I try to console myself that it confirms my knowledge of gravity and fracture mechanics. If the glass instead just stopped falling partway down, or bounced off the concrete, that would be worse.
Knowing how things go wrong, including relationships, helps to prevent them going wrong. I figure if I never repeat any of my mistakes, that would be a good start. I do a bit of running, and figure if I'm still running at age 130, I'll be in the record books ; I similarly expect to have a successful relationship, if I can just keep learning for a century or two.
@ubergigglefritz You hit the nail on the head with that one! I’m so tired of my social efforts being on-hold that I came back on here after a break lasting approximately two years. I’m fortunate to live in the only corner of the United States where there exist three recovery-based mental health programs. The programs had shut down for COVID but have offered phone/online groups since June of 2020 and are talking about reopening to in-person attendance with capacity limits, mask enforcement and no eating anywhere on their grounds (not even outdoors) next week.
While I have had many bad experiences with other members of Wellness Centers Central, West and South, I just can’t give up on Central. It is nearest my home, was the first of the three programs and has the largest facility of the three, so I call it “the Original, the Great”. As soon as they let me attend again on a Saturday, I’m going back. There’s all different people there now than who was there from 2014-19. I feel compelled to give them a chance. Obviously the ASL students won’t be gathering at Starbucks for another year and a half minimum according to California Governor Gavin Newsom and Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Due to my fall into isolation during the pandemic, Lauv’s latest single “Modern Loneliness” is an extremely relatable song for me that I make sure I listen to every weekend.
Even if a close friendship forms between me and someone I meet at Program, I won’t be expecting a hug right there while all these limitations are in place or even immediately after they’re removed.
You Americans have the phrase, "take a rain check", meaning, "I'll take up your offer when the conditions are better", i.e. when it is not ( metaphorically ) raining.
How about a new phrase "take a Covid check", meaning, "I'll take up your offer when the coronavirus pandemic is over".