How to navigate seeing pros in the new era?

Although this post touches on a well-worn and widely disparaged topic (nonresponsive pros), I hope it's non-whiny and practical enough that people will find it's worth having around.

When I first began seeing pro cuddlers in early 2019, it was really easy, and that was the main appeal. I'd message someone, book an appointment, and she'd show up. Although I had always had a reasonable amount of success with women prior to finding cuddling, it was really great to be able to meet new women and have their full attention without having to jump through the tedious hoops men often have to go through in the dating market.

At some point the pro cuddling outlook started to change. Pros stopped responding to messages. No-shows and last-minute cancellations had always been an occasional annoyance but eventually became the norm. In other words, seeing pro cuddlers started to look a lot more like dating.

The latest thing I'm finding is that even cuddlers whom I've seen before and have a good, established relationship with don't respond.

At this point I am fairly certain that the majority of pro cuddlers in California, even just limiting to those who log in multiple times each week, are not actually actively cuddling.

It would be easy to attribute the change to the coronavirus. However, while I'm sure the coronavirus has had some effect, really things started to change before the coronavirus showed up.

(Although my perception is that this is a new problem, you can actually find very old posts on the forum complaining about the difficulty of booking pros, like this one.)

Anyway, what I'm looking for are people's thoughts on practical strategies or mental approaches for seeing pros nowadays. I'm not really looking for a bunch of people trying to vent and commiserate with each other; there have been plenty of threads like that.

Here are some options I've thought about:

• Quit cuddling. I am honestly not sure it's worth the time and frustration right now. Maybe come back in a few months and see if things have changed.

• Find one decent reliable pro and then stop messaging other people. I actually have done this in the recent past, but it's sort of contrary to what appealed to me about cuddling in the first place.

• Adopt practical strategies to mitigate the annoyance and increase the likelihood of finding a cuddle. For instance, I sometimes message 8 or so cuddlers at once, knowing that probably at least 1-2 will respond. It seems there are natural limits to this approach though. If you're living in a single location, before long you've messaged everyone in your area you're interested in cuddling.

What are your thoughts?

UKGuy

Don't send them a booking request, send them a message asking them how they are handling the pandemic. Any pro that is at all professional should have already updated their profile with this information. My guess is if they don't respond, they are either not cuddling at all or are cherry-picking those they cuddle with. Do these people have karma that would indicate if they have cuddled recently?

pmvines

I wouldn't encourage anybody to quit cuddling . I hear your frustration and though I don't share it I do see it as valid. I am wondering if pros in general are not cuddling as much so just aren't responding to requests . Also I do notice a lot more people signing up as pros and not everyone who does that are really doing it as a primary source of income. Treating more as a side gig . Also some are here for escorty type reasons and might only be responding to those type of messages so as to not get caught out . I think your idea of finding a couple of reliable ones is good so long as you don't have attachment issues and are prone to catching feelings . And def dont look at cuddkuhg as the key to your happiness. There are so many other things you could be doing for self care and for enjoyment dont put your eggs all in one basket

Sideon

Outside of quitting or deactivating for a while, your options are sound. Maybe expand your geographic circle and consider a neutral cuddle place, such as a hotel or public cuddle like a park or at a movie/theater. May you have good luck finding two pro-cuddlers so that you have a backup in case there is a cancellation or non-response.

geoff1000

@CuddleMeLater
The pandemic lockdowns are restricting contact, so some pros are probably taking a break ; but I would have forecast that the associated financial difficulty many of us are experiencing, should mean that those who are still working, would be more keen than ever to follow up a contact.

I agree that if someone ( especially a pro) really has no intention of cuddling for say the next three months or more, they should put a note at the top of their profile to say so. If someone found a shop was closed every time they walked past on the off-chance, they'd eventually look elsewhere anyway. A note in the window saying "temporarily closed due to the pandemic" would prompt people to look again when the media reports an improvement.

The problem with messaging several cuddlers at once, when only looking for one, is that pros then have many contacts, and they can guess that most will be speculative. They will be less inclined to reply, if they know it will probably be a waste of time and effort ; which is your complaint, at how your initial contacts are ignored.

If I ask a builder to quote a price for a house repair job, and they know or suspect that I've asked 49 other builders, they may well not reply. One fix is to pay the builder, just for the quote. One poster on here recently "sent" money for a coffee, to the first few pros who replied.

@UKGuy

Any pro that is at all professional should have already updated their profile with this information.

Ha, you would think. 2/16 pros in my area mention Covid on their profiles.

My guess is if they don't respond, they are either not cuddling at all or are cherry-picking those they cuddle with.

Yeah. I think a lot aren't cuddling at all. It would be really nice (or, I should say, it would be basic common sense) if they would indicate this on their profiles, but they don't. If they're cherry-picking, I don't know on what basis.

@geoff1000

The problem with messaging several cuddlers at once, when only looking for one, is that pros then have many contacts, and they can guess that most will be speculative.

At least in my case this doesn't matter... if I message 8 pros and all 8 reply and want to book, then fine, I will book sessions with 8 cuddlers. That would be very unlikely these days though. I would be really surprised if more than 2 replied.

geoff1000

@CuddleMeLater
You are probably a much more prolific user of pros than most, 8 cuddle sessions in a year, would be a lot for me. 😩

Maybe it would help if your initial contact message said that.

@geoff1000 How would that help? I just got done cuddling someone who said her regulars each often see her 3x per week, so I don't think I'm that much of an outlier.

Thanks @pmvines and @Sideon for your replies.

@geoff1000 I'm honestly curious though, if you cuddle less than 8 times per year, what's the appeal of being so active on this site?

geoff1000

@CuddleMeLater
I suppose I'm active on the forum, so that I can be sure I get the cuddling right, like watching a lot of holiday programmes, or reading a lot of Trip Advisor reports ; even if ( or rather because ) I only go away once a year. I have learned a lot.

I said to one pro I saw from elsewhere, that it is like Charlie ( of And The Chocolate Factory ) getting just one bar a year, and really drawing out the anticipation and enjoyment. People who eat three bars a week, probably don't dwell on things so much.