Cuddle Vending Machine contest (finishes Oct 31, 2020)

respectful

In the Lines not to use when proposing a cuddle thread, @Envie wrote:

I love being treated like a cuddle vending machine. /s

Since there is clearly an audience for such a thing:

Announcing the Cuddle Vending Machine Contest (with prize!).

Feeling creative?

Rules

Entries consist of a post in this thread with the theme "Cuddle Vending Machine". For example:

-- drawings or blueprints

-- photos of a model you have made

-- a short story (that fits inside a single post) Edit: stories can span multiple posts.

-- video clip

Entries must be your own work. Maximum three separate entries per person. Make it clear that your post is a contest entry, not just a general comment in the thread.

Deadline

Entries should be submitted to this thread by the end of October 2020 (grace given for slightly late entries).

Prize

@Envie has kindly offered a free 30 minute online session to the winner!

Judging

There will be a public vote for the best entry, but the final decision lies with the contest organiser. (I might submit an entry but I am not eligible to win).

No expense was spared, it uses not 1, not 2, not THREE - but four different fonts.

https://imgur.com/a/ciHAZlx

littermate

If @DonLong is involved, the rest of us will not stand a chance, but I'd love to watch us try.

pmvines

@DonLonG needs a handicap, like a 5 point deficit so others can have some kind of a chance

respectful

Hmm, does there need to be a second prize for people who aren't DonLong?

avilala

It arrived without warning or fanfare. Just appeared one day where previously it was not. The object appeared to to be like any other vending machine but instead of offering food, beverages or small items of convenience, the display was empty. In fact it looked more like a door.

There was a neon sign on the top that usually displayed 'Welcome' but occasionally showed 'Come back later'. The panel had buttons, that instead of letter and number combinations had strange words and times, that seemingly had no connection to anything. Big spoon, little spoon, half spoon, face to face, back to back, just legs, pillow. What did it mean?

Occasionally people were observed in the area teary eyed, rather stressed, or looking very very relaxed. There seemed to be no connection except that the ones who looked like they had just woken up, were often seen walking away from the new machine after the 'Come back later' sign had been observed.

Further investigation necessary...

sillysassy

OMGOSH!!!! @respectful and @Envie you guys are the BESTEST!!! Winner goes to Most creative thread organizer!!! ☺️🧡💕
(DEFINITELY a “runner up” who isn’t @DonLonG 😂)

Rezz

Haha who would have thought my comment regarding feeling like a vending machine where strangers chuck change at me in exchange for warm flesh for an allotted time would have spurred a contest.
http://imgur.com/a/AiZB2qn

Also @respectful make that video chat 30 mins, 15 minutes feels like a tease.

respectful

@Envie That's very sweet of you! I've updated it to 30 minutes now.

pmvines

@Envie coins for warm flesh sounds like the worst strip club ever

JasonCuddles

Can I get more pics of your doggy envie? That would be a true prize

Rezz

@JasonCuddles
Don't twist my arm...
His name is Meat. 🥩
(https://i.imgur.com/znkd3y8.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/v9AXxge.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/3gtYg5f.jpg)

JasonCuddles

Who doesn't love meat. Wish I could give him some scritches.

quixotic_life

Omg @Envie ! I want to boop your pupper's snoot! He is so stinken cute!!

geoff1000

King Henry the Eighth ( who was famous for having six wives, sequentially ) was trying it on with a new target,who was understandably very much in awe, and worried that she would be beheaded if she got things wrong.
The King told her to relax, to not be afraid, that he promised she would come to no harm, and she should just treat him as if he were any other suitor for his affections.
"OK, Your Majesty. Sod off and leave me alone !"

We like to feel that people have freedom to choose us, but that comes with a risk that we won't be chosen.

A friend spent £10,000 on two "life-like" sex dolls. He got home from work one day, and they'd eloped together.

geoff1000

I bought a hug on-line last week, but I had to return it because it was the wrong size.

Official entry:
David wandered the streets of New York aimlessly on purpose. Disguised as a Federal security official, his formed plexiglass suit misted with the antibacterial fog that constantly swarmed the city. These days, nobody took their chances with COVID-124. David vividly remembers the day his grandfather took his last breath as he succumbed to COVID-19 decades earlier. It was the last time he had been held. Just days later, Bill #83947 was passed, the Negatouch Law.
But today he was on a mission. Just yesterday, David acquired the last piece of the puzzle he needed to find the city's hidden gem- known to insiders as Cuddle Caverns.

Chinatown! He should've known it would be Chinatown.

As David rounded the last corner of his miles long meandering, there it stood- Wong's Meat Market- an ironic name for the treasures that lie within. He stepped inside and proceeded to the counter to place his order.

"7.8 pounds of sweet and sour pork" he said with a nervous glance.

"Right this way"

He was led to the restrooms and was shown a panel between the doors that would not appear as a door to the casual onlooker. But Mr. Wong knew it's secrets, and the door opened under his skilled hands.

David stepped into the antechamber, where a soothing woman's voice instructed him to remove his protective gear. Cautiously, he put his gear in a locker, and proceeded to the misting room where he would recieve the green light.

After what seemed like hours, he had his chance. A cuddle cavern was available. As he advanced towards his final destination, he passed the last patron, wiping tears from his eyes.

10,000 virtual coins later, the door opened, and a warm light swarmed to embrace him.

Yes. This would be the best 5 minutes of his life.

sillysassy

THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL CONTEST ENTRY 😊
I wish I was as brilliant and capable as @DonLonG but alas... I am just a thief and re-poster of good ideas.
Thank you @creedhands for being so wise as to start a thread that recognizes there are some lines that SHOULD NOT BE USED if you want a cuddle request to be perceived as reasonable!

@Envie said a prospective client wrote the below with absolutely no other information or greeting. This is what started the_ "I feel like I'm being treated like a cuddle vending machine." THIS IS NOT A GOOD FEELING FOR ANYONE

come cuddle now. I have $136.24

I don't think any human wants to be treated as though they don't matter... that only the needs of ONE person in the transaction are important. In talking with Pros, there is certainly a feeling that because someone is PAYING money, they in turn don't have to be kind or respectful.

This was MY FEELING about the vending machine idea. It is fairly ONE sided. There are demands made and ONE person in the transaction walks away with a smile. The other feels a bit used. 😕 >>>>>>>>>>> Bring your sunshine to ME!!!!>>>>>>>>

littermate

Awesome @sillysassy !

pmvines

geoff1000

Patrick Swayze in "Dirty Dancing" and Finnick in "Mockingjay", both complain that men can also be treated as vending machines. Perhaps that is even a little harder to bear, because men have to be physically convincing, which needs more emotional investment. Think of the difference between reading out a piece of text in a monotone voice, or with the correct intonation.

DonLonG

General comment on the thread:
@littermate @sillysassy @pmvines - You mother huggers are hilarious.

My visitor's log usually has 6-8 people a month visiting my profile. I make a game of it checking every once in a while to see if my most recent visitor will get up to "2 weeks ago". It has happened a couple of times, but I usually get at least one a week. Then I check this morning and see 6 people in the last 16 hours visited me. I was like What The Hugs?!

So you guys are responsible for that sudden surge. Almost better than hiring a marketing firm. You guys better stop before all this attention goes straight to my head. Also, I'll have to start paying you commission for the name dropping.

@respectful - This is genius and exactly the kind of thing I love to see around here. I was planning on dialing back my activity here, but this kind of thing will get me excited and motivated enough to check back regularly and see how it develops.

@pmvines - I just recently got a handicap. I haven't logged in for like a week. I only logged in today to update my profile explaining why I might not be around as much. I found a full-time cuddle companion from this site. We're still in the Huggymoon phase, so we have been seeing each other 5 nights a week. I work 6.5 days a week (Today is my half day off) and every spare moment I have has been either with her or Mr. Sandman. Haven't had time to do anything extra. ( @sillysassy & @quixotic_life this is why I haven't been in communication with you guys because I just haven't had the time ).

I actually have been wanting to write a post in the forum about this new experience asking for advice and also to serve as a potential warning. Two weeks ago I had a massive oxytocin headache followed by a cuddle hangover so severe that it got me in trouble at work the next day. I discovered that if you are touch-deprived long term that you should NOT dive into a 16 hour overnight smushing marathon. Apparently, it is like drinking or drugs where if you do not have a tolerance built up, you can easily overdose. There really should be a warning or more public awareness about this stuff, because I might as well have been a drunk driver going to work the next day.

So far it looks like I might actually get a whole day off next Wednesday, might have time to write about it before I forget all the details.

quixotic_life

Squeeee!!! @DonLonG ~ Congrats on your Huggymoon!!! 🥰🥰🥰

I'm so insanely happy for you!!!!

littermate

Woot @DonLong!

I'm kinda looking forward to some kind of diagram a la Leonardo da Vinci from you. No pressure. We are all holding our breath to see what you come up with and mostly concluding that whatever it is, it will make any efforts on our parts moot.

And no, it's not hype. He really is this good.

geoff1000

"Huggymoon"

Reputations are built on that kind of wordsmithery.

littermate

Seriously @geoff1000. Is there a form of sapiophilia where someone's capacity/cleverness/creativity with words makes one swoon? If so, I have that.

quixotic_life

@littermate ~ ditto! 🥰

respectful

Minor rule update

Story entries can consist of multiple posts; just make it clear that the story is continuing.

@avilala and @creedhands -- feel free to extend your entries if you want to!

geoff1000

@littermate
@quixotic_life
Probably. I was always taught,
"If a short word will do, it is unnecessary to be excessively flamboyant with your language".

I like the running joke in "A Fish Called Wanda" where Jamie Lee Curtis swoons over people talking in Italian and Russian. I've been criticised for not saying much on a date, but that's because I want to hear them talking.

In the animal world, long mating songs are highly valued, as a sign of intelligence.

avilala

@respectful haha. But the point of a story snipit is it leaves you wanting more without actually needing more... But since we have til the end of October there can probably be another snipit or two.

"Welcome. I am Panthea," came the same soothing voice. "Please prepare for weightlessness as I scan your memory chip."

Quicker than he could process, David felt gravity dissipate, and his need for balance replaced by surrounding air cushions. They were soft but firm and warm. It was like being held in suspension by a motherly giant.

"Inducing cuddle sapience in 5... 4... 3... 2..."

David was taken back to sharp points in his life when Panthea recognized oxytocin spikes combined with tender interactive memories.

He first relived the second grade moments when Jessica's dress with brush his arm as she walked by. How he thought school days should last forever as he lived for those instants! It's too bad she couldn't look past his Dick Tracy books to see his greater potential.

With a pulse of light he was taken to 7th grade. His mother held him close in the kitchen of their two bedroom apartment. It wasn't fair that Eddie had to be taken from him. "I thought cancer was an old person's disease," he told his mother. She had no words to comfort him, but he felt the love radiating through her arms as she held him. He cried there until he slept.

Now he is 19. Watching the latest installment of Star Wars at the theater with Anria. First the touching of hands in the popcorn tub. Then the crossing of ankles. And finally the intertwining of arms. He wished that movie would go longer than it's stated 5-hour runtime. He could hold her hand forever.

Scenes played. His wedding day. Holding his daughter for the first time. Trapped in the elevator with Eva from HR.

And there was the final moments with his grandpa. David held him close as the life expired, and Gramps sighed his last. Yet David clung on as the sheets collected the sorrow from his eyes.

And just like Gramps's life, the lights went out, and a soft glow brought David back to himself.

"Thank you for allowing me to share your life with you." Panthea said. "Prepare for gravity."

"Was that really only five minutes? I want just a little more!" David gushed.

"Please exit the cavern," he heard. Panthea was an illusion. Only her repeated command lingered.

David stepped out on shaky knees. He found his way to his locker and numbly put on his gear.

Was it real? Was it painful? Was it good? Can I live here and now?

Yes. The Cuddle Caverns took more than he expected. But what they gave he would recall for months to come.

Until his return.