Courtesy suggestion

geoff1000geoff1000
in General

If you are going to reference someone in a post, particularly if it's in a negative way and especially if they aren't a "regular" in the forums ; ideally private message them first, or if not, at least afterwards.

It otherwise feels that we are talking about them behind their back, which seems unkind. For instance, if someone is charging 8 cents / second, it might be interesting to know how that's working out for them.

Comments

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    8 cents a second sounds like a lot of maths 😢😢😢

  • geoff1000geoff1000
    edited October 2020

    8 x 60 x 60 / 100 = $288 / hour

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    I don't think it's necessary to call anyone out on the forums in a negative manner either. This particular person was just minding their own business before they were mentioned. It makes me feel bad for them.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Someone was irked by golly . Classy stuff

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @sethryan44
    Talking about people behind their back, is something we should stop doing when we no longer need our mothers to tie our shoelaces.

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    People getting mad and arguing on the internet is simply unheard of.

  • alaskaman12alaskaman12

    @geoff1000
    It should also be a courtesy if someone messages someone on here either a pro or enthusiast. They should reply back in a reasonably amount of time. But they don't. You can't have it both ways. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited October 2020

    @alaskaman12 it is classless and bratty for a grown adult to post pics links and usernames just as a means to complain about somebody. I see women do it too so don't get it twisted into a gender thing. Its really immature and grade schoolish.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @alaskaman12
    If I wanted to challenge your view, I'd suggest that everyone who disagrees with it should send you a private message, and see how well you do replying to all of them. However, that would be very childish of me.

    There is a big distinction between not responding to cold-calling, and having your character judged and criticised without even knowing that it's happening.

    Some females on here say the messaging is like being whistled at in the street, and expected to give a polite reply every time. I think of messaging as like a wave or a smile in public, if you are demanding a response, that's discourteous.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    talking about kindness, and these forums is kind of an oxymoron isn't it?
    any time I've expressed my heartfelt feelings in here I've felt ridiculed and reminded why I should never do that again.

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    @alaskaman12 Lurk more

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @Melancholy
    It's difficult when you have a view that isn't mainstream, too many people try to change your mind ; in case maybe you change theirs.

    I'm worried that the Suffragettes will get their way, and grant women the vote. 😊

  • Sassafrass11Sassafrass11

    @alaskaman12 I receive a lot of messages, and I try to respond in a reasonable amount of time to all. However, life happens and it may take me longer to reply to a few. I pride myself on being courteous and professional, despite the obscene amount of messages I receive that are less than appropriate, and comments like yours sometimes make me question why I even do this. The truth is, I do it because people need it. If I receive a message, say, during a session, it will have to wait, because my clients needs come first. In addition, if a message comes in during decompression and self care time, it will also have to wait, because I cannot serve from an empty vessel. I need to be my best so my clients get the best. Some people are under the impression that just because we are professionals we’re at everyone’s beck and call 24/7, and that’s completely unfair. Please understand we do our best, and know that a little patience makes a big difference.

  • RezzRezz

    @alaskaman12

    • Most pros and enthusiasts don't monitor the site 24/7, most of us have jobs , families, lives outside the site. What's reasonable for you, may be unachievable especially for enthusiasts who only log onto the site once a month.
    • Email push notifications don't always work. They haven't for me for the past 4 days. I have to manually check the site for new messages.
    • Filling out your profile with more information about yourself might yield better response rates.
    • Some people, not I, feel no response is a response. I do my absolute best to reply to everyone but I'd be lying if I said someone hasn't fallen through the cracks before. Certainly not intentional but it does happen .
  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    I don't think the distinction between @alaskaman12 and the women he's messaging is that they have "jobs, families, and lives" and he doesn't. I think the distinction is that they get a lot of messages and he (like me, and presumably most other men here) doesn't. I get an average of 1 or 2 messages here a week; that's all messages regardless of who reached out first. So it takes an extra step of empathy for a man in this position to realize that keeping up with messages isn't as trivial for a woman. It's not a huge step but for someone who happens to be short on empathy at the moment that step can be a tricky because it can lead to resentment - it doesn't seem fair that women are flooded with messages and men hardly have any.

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    I hate whiny responses along the lines of "I didn't receive a response to my message within 8 hours". As previously stated, people have lives and responsibilities outside of the internet. I for one am very grateful when I receive a response at all for this reason alone.

  • RezzRezz
    edited October 2020

    @CuddleMeLater

    I think something was horribly lost in translation here. I'm not suggesting that he doesn't have life. I'm suggesting that the delayed response time could be in large part due to his intended cuddlers not checking the site daily, weekly or even monthly due to other priorities , jobs or their general interest in cuddling.
    There could be any number of reasons why guys are not getting replies. They could be messaging dead profiles, profiles that were made out of curiosity and abandoned, fake profiles, etc.

    it doesn't seem fair that women are flooded with messages and men hardly have any.

    Pros are encouraged to NOT message enthusiasts with the intent of seeking out a new client. This may explain the difference in our inboxes.
    From the FAQ.

    Is it ok to seek out new clients?
    We recommend you allow clients to find you in their search results. This website is home to many enthusiast cuddlers who have no interest in professional cuddling. Performing outreach on this platform therefore risks upsetting this type of member.

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    @Envie That is a useful clarification. Thank you for that.

  • RezzRezz

    @sethryan44 I believe most enthusiasts here are widely unaware of this. If I'm not mistaken it's under the Pro FAQ , an area most enthusiasts wouldn't have any interest in reading. 🙂

  • [Deleted User]McSnugglin (deleted user)

    I understand the frustration on the site about not being responded too. I have been a member for close to a year now, I’ve sent messages to many potential snuggling partners and have only been able to connect with one person. That experience was great!
    I also know people have lives outside of this website. I have talked recently with a few pros (not calling anyone out) and I truly appreciate their conversation. These ladies have given me more hope with the site and I will continue to try, not be pushy, and wait my time for some great snuggling! Best of wishes to you all!!

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    @Envie I can could on one hand the number of times a pro has messaged me to solicit services. It made me feel uncomfortable.

  • RezzRezz

    I avoid cold messaging people for sessions. I do like to occasionally message new members in my area welcoming them to the site and wishing them well on finding what they are looking for, whatever that may be. This tells them I'm friendly and open to communication should they want to hire a pro.

    You guys now know that if we are not messaging you, it could be in large part that it's because it's discouraged.

  • [Deleted User]McSnugglin (deleted user)

    There are many variables to consider, as others have said previously. Maybe the accounts are no longer monitored, notifications aren’t being sent, their nonresponse is their response (maybe they don’t want to hurt your feelings by saying no). Maybe I’m not who they are looking to snuggle, maybe my page doesn’t have the best pictures or I don’t have the right words in my write up that attracts the snuggle. Just be patient and eventually good things come to those who wait, Patience is key!!

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited October 2020

    @sethryan44 you are right , there are endless complainers about how they dont get their way and how badly they think they are treated. Not knocking legit issues but so much of it amounts to whining and entitlement and resentful attitudes. If you or I point out that reality we are mean and unwelcoming . Everybody wants sympathy instead of being an adult about things

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