Please post on this thread, instead of derailing others.
People who aren't interested, can then choose to ignore it. Let's take our argument outside, instead of spoiling everyone else's party.
What’s happening?
You come across as a pompous pseudo intellectual.
It's like if unwarranted self importance was distilled into one person. Just kidding, why does this thread exist?
@geoff1000
Maybe it would have been more helpful to create a post where you come to dump your wild tangents and analogies. Those things have a tendency to derail threads.
Also, you've suggested that others simply ignore your posts. This can sometimes be difficult when you post lengthy entries, or when you feel the need to spam a thread with multiple posts. I read pretty quickly, and even while trying to scroll past your posts, some of the insanity you write gets into my eyes.
😆 This is awesome on so many levels and so many will not see why 😆
@geoff1000 I criticize you that you post a post about criticizing you
😆😆😆
PS I enjoy most of your analytical replies especially when they contain a lot of quotes and details on things. But I like those things anyway 👍😁
Don't let it get to your head though 😆
💌 <-- enclose hate here
This actually seems really useful for someone genuinely trying to improve themselves. Maybe I should make a similar thread for myself....
Let's take it from the top.
1- When you derail a thread (say, by posting about too little vs. too much sex in a thread about not liking things everyone else seems to love), you might expect someone to say something like, "Uh... isn't this a derailment?"
2- When someone points out that you've derailed the thread, doubling down on your derailment (say, by posting an analysis of desire in relationships) doesn't make things any better. The key to balancing desires in a relationship may well be for each to know what the other's desires are, but this still isn't the subject of the thread. You're ignoring the point.
3- If someone then carries on to remark that this is still not on topic (and, incidentally, not something they care to hear about), that's a perfectly justified criticism.
4- If you continue to insist on posting off-topic, and the person you're tagging declines to participate in your derailing, implying that they're being suspiciously secretive by not answering your off-topic questions is... not a particularly charming move.
5- The idea that people can decide whether or not to read your posts is an understandable one—but inaccurate. How can I know, for instance, that you're gonna be offensive in any given comment if a) I haven't read it yet, and b) you're not always offensive? And in my case there are other problems: even if I could know what I was going to think of your comment without reading it, I read so quickly that simply glancing at a set of words is usually enough. "Page at a glance" is a useful reading speed when going through The Way of Kings, but it's not always so awesome on a public internet forum!
6- I'm pretty sure the main point of the Unpopular Opinions thread is to make people feel unique and special. "Everyone else loves this thing, but not me!" That's why people post in it. And why do people read it? Well, I'm guessing that's the second point: to gasp at the pleasurable, personally unthreatening shock of having some rare individual hate something so generally loveable. If all else fails, why shouldn't "pure curiosity" be a good reason to make and participate in a thread like that? I don't see why it shouldn't.
7- The reason a thread is made is only rarely the actual subject of the thread. "Why you like cats," for instance, is probably not about "why I made this post in which people can post the reasons they have for liking cats" ...nor "why people are listing the reasons they like cats".
8- In your endeavor for self-improvement, why not try out people's suggestions every once in a while? Take each piece of advice about your posting for maybe a day, and see how it works for you. Could be interesting.
@DarrenWalker I will interject to say “yes, number 6 is spot on to why I made my Unpopular Opinions thread lol” thank you 🙏
@Sheena123: Yaaaay, I got it right. Thanks for the facts! I like not having to guess. (I'm not always right.)
Something else, in regards to @geoff1000:
Your reasons for derailing a thread are inconsequential. You seem to think that your intentions—whether they be to learn, share a "funny" story or quote—render your derailments valid at exactly any time that it suits you. This is ridiculous.
Furthermore, when people point out your derailments of the topic at hand, you quickly adopt a victim complex, or take a kind of high ground, as if those things are meant to validate your tangents. That is also ridiculous.
An offshoot reply is only a derailment when everyone follows the offshoot.
@davebutton: I suppose that's technically true. Still, it seems to me that putting a penny on the train tracks is not a great thing to do, even if the train manages to stay on track regardless.
@davebutton
Hm. All right then. When @geoff1000 doesn't successfully derail an entire thread, his posts are often the digital equivalent of some random person butting into a conversation and violently vomiting all over the participants.
It's jarring.
@DarrenWalker Could I have such a feedback list sent privately? What a great friend you are.
And criticisms of @geoff1000:
Way too dear Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. Way too dear.
@littermate: That's difficult! When it comes to social interaction, I'm so inexpert that I usually don't even notice problems unless they're egregious. You seem really good at interacting on the forums without upsetting people (better than me, for sure)—so how'm I supposed to come up with any feedback that'd be useful to you? You're great. If anyone disliked you, I think they'd have to post it on the Unpopular Opinions thread.
Awww.
I think some of the criticisms in this thread of @geoff1000 are not fair, a bit hyperbolic, and somewhat toxic:
"putting a penny on the train tracks"
I see offshoot replies like the one you linked previously often here, and they sometimes are ignored, and sometimes end up derailed (in a good or bad way). Geoff's, while a few paragraphs, veers off-topic, and I saw it as equally interesting or opening the door to derailment, and honestly I've seen threads derail here for much less reason and to a very toxic extent (often due to a subsequent negative reading-into of the reply)... I don't think Geoff is the worst, by far, though I probably don't read the threads and posts as much as you anyway (but that's not a qualifier for piling on Geoff too much).
Sometimes people make side-thoights, sometimes they misunderstand, sometimes they go off-topic... a train should more robust than to fly off the tracks at a penny. I saw later in the thread it got back on topics, quite easily... all involved are participatory in a thread going off the rails (Geoff doesn't control the thread).
@UltimateChungus
"When geoff1000 doesn't successfully derail an entire thread",
I doubt his intention was to derail it, or many of them, so I don't think he would have considered it a success. The example just looked like a misunderstanding or side-thought. Everyone who jumped on the side train ended up on the side rail.
"his posts are often the digital equivalent of some random person butting into a conversation and violently vomiting all over the participants."
This appears to be toxic and because of that is likely inaccurate. You seem very angry at him and maybe have some personal issues with him. His posts I've seen are typically cordial, not like this. Your characterization seems unnecessary and inflammatory.
"It's jarring."
It may feel that way but I haven't experienced that and I've seen a lot of his posts. Maybe not as many as you, but I haven't seen him leave incendiary posts about others (when it's not done to him first), which I consider jarring.
Maybe Geoff needs to take a breath and a step back before replying to a long or complex post (as may have been needed in reply to sheena's post about her mate's difference in taste on a popular subject), but maybe so do you and others to Geoff's or others posts that seem off... before flying off the rails. I've gotten ignored plenty, and sometimes I've flown off the rails.
Plenty of posts are ignored, and the thread continues on with the topic; I know @DarrenWalker is a very detailed poster, which I also appreciate, and the point was made and valid, but really, it takes more than 1 to derail a thread topic, and that one seemed to have sohn out of control, and made way too many people angry way too fast. I've seen derailments that everyone loved; in that particular case, most unfortunately disliked
Everybody's got their irks and tics and buttons, and in that thread, I think an off-center button got pressed at the wrong time a little too hard and people got a little too upset about it.
Take a breather and step back and reconsider what'll happen if a post is focused on too much, because that will definitely derail the thread. One post doesn't derail it; it takes takes a bunch of passengers pushing the train over to make a train jump the tracks (though I'd love to see that in real life).
Note the irony of this thread topic being criticisms of geoff, which then switched to geoff's character for posting it, and has now been for the past few posts about thread derailment responsibility 😁😁😁 and at least for that last switch I think it's been a good thing.
I believe everyone's seen here and there what the issues are and what should be improved and the expectations there to improve. Lord knows I've seen and been through more drama on this forum and in online chat than in real life cuddle experiences 😆😆😆 I've held my typing more often than not recently, that's for sure.
Peace out.
@davebutton ~ Everything here is from my own point of view. Others are welcome to help clarify or challenge my perceptions either here or through a PM.
So... To start, you unfortunately do not have all the information one might need to understand how we have found ourselves here in the, "Hey all ~ Pile on me here, not over there." thread.
Equally unfortunate are the two threads I would have pointed you to, where multiple people went off the rails (myself included) have been deleted.
After commenting with my thoughts on that, @Mark replied, "@quixotic_life I recognise your feedback earlier. It is certainly my preference that we avoid deleting topics where there has been thoughtful contributions. When such a topic is unsuitable for this website or evolves to be disruptive, I would like our first consideration to be that of closing the topic rather than deletion." but alas, that isn't what happened. However, if you look you may find more details here in the "Off-topic discussions" thread.
To catch you up though, this has been building for some time and approximately two weeks ago a couple of lines were crossed, re-drawn and then crossed again, with what came across as a forum version of the middle finger (by Geoff and others).
Most of those involved were kind, diplomatic and encouraging in their approaches toward Geoff (turning the focus to him now because that's why we're here right?) trying to help him understand why what he said was problematic and constructive feedback was given for what would be better ways to approach things moving forward. But it was all deflected back, met with obstinacy, denial and a refusal to take in what the community had graciously spent their time trying to educate him with, or was just flat out ignored.
Repeatedly, Geoff has said he feels a benefit to being here because it's an opportunity to, 'learn how to better understand and connect with others'.
If that is the case, he needs to understand that communication has a give and take. He needs to learn how to slow down, and listen. Especially when posting a, "Hey, I didn't mean it/you misunderstood me again, etc." type of reply.
Seriously! At some point we all need to take some responsibility. To learn to accept you are fallible just like everyone else and you were guilty of posting some things that were short-sighted, tone-deaf, or not fully thought out. Really! Try to notice the impact your comments have on others (like when they reply with the negative impact your words have had on them) and take a time-out to reflect, apologize/make amends, edit your egregious fricken posts, or whatever else is being recommended to fix the situation, and be welcomed back in by most with open arms. Or don't.
The choice is everyone's to make for themselves. But if your plan of addressing the constructive criticism you opened yourself up to, is to ignore it and change nothing, don't be surprised when people turn a bit hostile.
Note: I may come back and rework this, but to be honest, this feels like a complete waste of my time - So it may just stay as it is...
Understood 👍
Well, I would have never expressed my criticism of the OP because even though he annoys me and the only way to describe his presence in the forums would be omnipresent I always felt that if nobody said anything then it wasn't my place to say anything either. And since he started the thread himself I’ll bite and speak my mind, but only once and because I think this is the perfect place to do it.
Yes, omnipresent. I like to read the forums and the lively discussions that many times happen, I even participate sometimes although is rare. But something that took the joy out of that a long time ago was the OP’s habit of participating in 99% of all the topics made, and I’m pretty sure I’m very accurate when it comes to that number. There isn’t a thread that he doesn’t participate in and is not like he says his peace and leaves, no, he has to answer to every person that participates and he tags them too. I don’t know why he does that, maybe he is the equivalent of the person that loves to hear himself talk or maybe he is that annoying and unaware. Whatever it is I won’t put up with it so if I’m gonna browse through the forums I completely skip all of his comments, I refuse to read them and if he is engaged in a conversation with somebody I skip that back and forth as well. It is not surprising to me that I’m hearing now about him derailing threads and going off topic, it stands to reason, nobody has that much to say but he does say it...all of it...all the time...on every thread....on every single topic.
So yeah, I’m getting this off my chest and I’m gonna move on and I’ll keep ignoring and skipping all of his comments. I haven’t known for a long time what he is talking about and I intend to keep it that way.
ps.- I’ve read the complaints about him on this thread and they’re all on point and no I won’t read his responses here either
@geoff1000 You are one brave human for starting this thread. I have been in various situations where I've gotten feedback and man it can be excruciating. So I just want to say hey, and I honestly really don't care how you participate in the forum. As long as people aren't denigrating and attacking each other, I really don't care. I think there's a place for all us wackadoodles and we can read what we want, skip what we want, and write what we want. I've noticed a certain kind and quirky quality that you have and I appreciate that.
This thread makes me a little sad. I appreciate @littermate coming back with that last post above. I hope everyone finds some peace on this matter.
@geoff1000 🤔only 22 comments and not all bad. LOL 😂 I was expecting worse because your such a clever smarta$$. Keep your chin up, shoulders back, and bend over for the constant foot in the a$$ your asking for. It’s like you said you want to fight so let’s take it outside. Dude...why... Hardly worth your time. Just ignore them!.
😂 😂😂 as your fiancé cause you all but proposed in that one thread it’s only natural that I give you some tough love cause honey... I only want the best for you.
🤔well if your not going to ignore them every time someone decides to become combative... you can copy paste this link to this thread and tell them to finish the conversation on this thread. 😂other wards lets take it outside.
What @cuddleversed said. To the nth power. Every word. Question was asked. 🤷♀️