How will I feel after?

[Deleted User]Bmizza (deleted user)
in Professional Cuddling

I’ve been on this page for a while now and I haven’t ever made the leap to book a Cuddler. I’m a little bit worried about how I will feel after the session. I’m worried about feeling depressed about paying for closeness/intimacy. Has any one else experienced this fear? Has anyone ever left a cuddle session and felt worse than before?

  1. Have you ever felt worse after a session20 votes
    1. Yes
      45.00%
    2. No
      55.00%

Comments

  • Mike403Mike403

    I've only seen one pro off this site whom I've been seeing regularly for 3 years. She stopped seeing me in March due to the pandemic, but still texts me from time to time. I can't wait to be able to cuddle again. As for being depressed? Not really. I'm not used to anyone wanting to get intimate with me for free, so my brain just figures that's the way my world is supposed to work.

  • respectfulrespectful

    @Bmizza If the professional you see is a good one then they will be someone who is genuine and caring; I like this quote from one of them: "When you hire me for this service, I'd like you to know that all you are paying for is my time, my full attention, and my skills. The love and care I have for you comes from the heart. It can't be bought, and is absolutely free." For me, I think of payment as supporting them so they can continue their job as a cuddler; if they didn't have such support then I would never have met them and I would have missed out on many lovely cuddles!

    Sometimes people have felt a "crash" some time after cuddling (in contrast to the high they felt during the cuddle), but that's a different issue to what you're talking about I think.

    If you want to get an idea of the effects of seeing a good professional, take a look under "Uplifting" in the A to Z of professional karma thread on the pro forum.

  • DesignergirlDesignergirl

    Unpopular opinion alert:
    You're young, good looking, and live in LA. Even if you weren't all those things, I'd still advise reaching out to non-pros.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Agree with @Designergirl. I never had any luck, but it might be different for you. Start messaging people. They won't bite. The worst that'll happen is they won't write back.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    This has been covered in other threads but I only feel "worse" after a short session like one or two hours. The longer the session the better I feel after. Hope that helps.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    I have had cuddlers report feeling very relaxed, happy, and accepted immediately after a session. However, you may experience "drop", which is an emotional and physical low that begins anywhere from a few hours to a few days after an emotional/endorphin high and can last hours to weeks.

    This is why I often try to check in with folks I've cuddled a day or two after a session to see how they're doing. If you're feeling down, I recommend pampering yourself with a bath, tea, chocolate, or whatever else comforts you. It's also a good idea to book another session, even if it's a month or so in advance, to have something to look forward to.

    As far as being ashamed for paying for cuddling services, don't be. Here, we get it, and you can get the companionship and/or physical touch you need without any romantic or sexual expectations. The world is stressful right now with this pandemic. It's not easy to see people, especially to be close to them. I also agree with what @respectful said. When you pay for a pro, you're supporting us so we can continue doing something we love.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited November 2020

    @Bmizza ., there’s a small chance you might feel unfulfilled

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @Designergirl none of those guarantee success with a non pro trust me.
    @Bmizza it truly depends who you decide to work with. There are quite a few that make it seem much less transactional than it actually is.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @hugonehugall - She never claimed it did... but it doesn't hurt to try. It's better then just sitting back feeling depressed and not taking any action.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @Mike403 For one thing @Bmizza never implied he hasn’t reached out to non pros and he never said that he didn’t have success in doing so. His question was about feelings about hiring about a pro so clearly he has an interest in doing so. So let’s not derail the intended topic by making assumptions and giving him advice unrelated to what he’s asking for !

  • Mike403Mike403

    @hugonehugall - His OP is about feeling depressed after having to pay for intimacy. Suggesting to reach out to non-pros is actually good advice.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    @Mike403 again you’re assuming he already hasn’t done so .... and again that wasn’t his question. And you also don’t know that he’s sitting around feeling depressed or lonely , it’s not a good idea to project feelings or make assumptions like that.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @hugonehugall - You just wanna argue, don't you?

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    Not arguing making a valid point just as you said she did.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited November 2020

    @hugonehugall - Things don't need to be spelled out in exact wording to give helpful advice. I assumed he wanted to cuddle, but was depressed about having to pay for it. Okay? I'm done here.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    And also @Mike403 there was also something somewhat problematic with her statement in regards that the reason he shouldn’t have to “ pay for it “ based on him being attractive ?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited November 2020

    People, people, we can all message each other directly, remember? But it does remind me that one of things I love about this forum is that, by forum standards, is so mature and caring. <3

    @Designergirl, I don't understand why you think any of these things are relevant. Whether or not somebody might be thinking about professional cuddling is nothing to do with their age, looks or where they live.

    Anyway, allow me to care a little for the OP.

    No, I have never felt anything but good after a session with a professional. I have experienced the later low described by @bekah_cuddles above, but that is a different thing and is not quite what you were asking. Cuddling is an emotional experience and has emotional consquences.

    I fully concur with @respectful's remarks above, and here is a quote from another, very thoughtful professional, not on this site.

    In terms of your friend and her worries about paying for cuddles, I can totally understand where she is coming from. The industry is new and people don't always know how to perceive it correctly. I often say to people that they pay for my time, but the caring is free.

    So, your question is technically invalid because it relies on a false premise. :p You are not paying for intimacy. :)

    Further, your logic is faulty. ;) If it is the case that you can only obtain intimacy by paying for it, then where is the harm in paying for it? It takes you from a place of no intimacy, to one of enjoying at least some intimacy. Hooray!

    I'm not having a go at you, I'm just trying to help you explore your feelings. B)

    I have not experienced the fear you are describing - before my first session I was mostly intrigued. But perhaps that is because I have got past the fear. At the moment, I can only obtain intimacy as part of a larger transaction. It's a horrible, shameful, embarrassing place to be, even though it's not actually my fault. But here I am, and denying it doesn't help. What does help, is the care I receive from some really good professional cuddlers. What does help, is the physical benefit of touch I receive from some not-quite-so-good professionals.

    So, if you can, carefully choose somebody with lots of good karma. Explain your situation. A good pro will be understanding and caring. Book an hour and a half if you can. (It's the natural length of a cuddle. Two human attention spans, like most films.) Build up some kind of relationship beforehand, on here or on Whatsapp or Skype or whatever. Remember that cuddle sessions are freeform - you can do whatever you like as long as you are both comfortable. There are no expectations at all. One professional who I know well told me that one person on a first session just sat there and cried for an hour. She was totally cool with that, in fact she was very flattered.

    Edit: actually, on reflection I felt bad after one session. But that was a really horrible experience with a crooked pro with no karma, and that's not what you were asking.

    Edit 2: I've been concentrating on writing this post, but on finishing it I realised that my cheeks hurt. This is because I'm smiling so much. I'm smiling because of the cuddle session with a pro I had yesterday.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @CuddleDuncan - I guess that's why @Designergirl gave the 'unpopular opinion alert'. I just thought she was giving a compliment.

  • thejuggernautthejuggernaut

    @bekah_cuddles I love what you said! it is perfect :) Im new here and as a pro im looking to learn from the pro's on how to offer the best service i can to my clients.

  • [Deleted User]CuddleMeLater (deleted user)

    @thejuggernaut this isn’t something you’ll have to worry about, trust me.

    @Bmizza this does happen sometimes. I have sometimes felt worse after a session. But it’s not a huge deal; it’s not like it’s traumatic or something. Give it a try.

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