blocking question

BooksnTeas

Does anyone know when you block someone are they still able to read the message you sent prior to your blocking?
I'm looking forward to someone getting the message "Read peoples profiles and in the meantime, since you didn't.. I had reserved the right to tell you to fuck off for contact me against my interest and boundaries."
I think it's important for people to know why they are being blocked.

Mike403

Watch the language please. Don't get me wrong, I swear worse than a sailor, but some people here might get offended.

I don’t think they get the messages before you block them and some times once they are blocked if you don’t message them they make up in their heads much worse then what you can say to them

hugonehugall

Yes all messages appear on screen up until the point you block them

TheFunCartel

Just like no one owes you a response or a reply to a message, no one owes you an explanation as to why you were blocked. I have heard so many reasons from so many people that you couldn’t cover them all anyway.

Mike403

@FunCartel - I think @BooksnTeas wants to yell/swear at them before blocking and is making sure they will see the message even while blocked.

Melancholy

Wow adults still get offended by language? That's quite funny.

Mike403

@Melancholy - Don't use language here that you wouldn't use around Grandma.

Anna1970

But Grandma got run over by a reindeer? i couldnt resist.. tis the season to hear holiday music to nauseum.

Block who u may, and depending on the audience, here im hoping are all adults, swear away. I agree granny needs respect, but collectively if we are all adults where else can we swear, ohhhh u mean the Big brother may be offended too thats true, this site is very particular. Either way, for sure block whoever is not abiding to boundaries and bio requests. For sure!!!! )

TheFunCartel

I understand we are all adults and we all swear, but I get what @Mike403 is saying. In spoken profanity we understand the tone of voice, but if you are dropping f bombs all over the place in print it can unintentionally paint you as a hostile and violent person because a lot of the context is taken away in print. If you cuss all the time, the emphasis and effectiveness dwindles into tedium. But profanity, so often used for rants and tantrums in real life insinuates a verbal violence into a community that promotes itself as a “safe place”. It is not that anyone has virgin ears, it’s just that context and tact are lacking with constant usage. If you want an analogous situation—we are all adults and most of us have sexual experience, but if we were constantly talking sex here it would taint the community. JMTC

quixotic_life

@FunCartel & @Mike403
I totally agree!

And yep... they get the message... 🥲

Mike403

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" was a messed up song. Grandpa is taking her death so well that he is watching football and drinking beer.

hillbilly

Use whatever kind of language you prefer, but try to reconsider the whole "Get the last word and block maneuver". I have to doubt that Grandma would approve-

quixotic_life

Fyi ~ This is Under the Rules of Conduct...

Language: Please keep the use of offensive language to a minimum.

But minimum for one could be maximum (or more) to someone else. 🤷‍♀️

CuddleDuncan

Yes, they are able to see the message you sent prior to blocking, as well as all previous messages.

In principle it is rude to block somebody without politely explaining why. However, you are under no particular obligation to be polite. If in doubt, you can simply say politely that you prefer not to explain.

Remember that somebody being rude or horrible to you is not an excuse for being rude or horrible to them, unless you are under three years old and both tired and hungry.

Remember also that most people who are being rude or horrible are doing it because they don't have much love or happiness in their lives. You are under no particular obligation to make their miserable existence worse.

BooksnTeas

Thanks all.
I'm not worried about being viewed as hostile. This site has a long way to go before it's a safe space, [see my other threads if you're not clear. If you're a man admonishing me, really still, just fork off, this is a money making space for a man who refuses to prioritize the safety of largely women workers in it's anonymous approach and safety guidelines discussion warning anonymous men that the real threat is the worker who might steal their identity.. you know.. financial safety at the Direct Offset of physical safety.. for god's sake!]. and it's y'all's responsibility to show up against the problems here, yet my explanatory threads brought very little awareness because it's impossible to break through the wall of relative privilege you are comfortable with on this site.]
@verona thanks for the advice and @Anna1970 appreciated. It's really interesting what people raise arms about and what they don't.
@hugonehugall definitely the info I was looking for, thank you. I think it's a shame they can't receive a message informing them on why they are blocked. @FunCartel I think this would be a safer place if people could explain why they are blocking someone, and ask them not to approach other people in problematic ways. Otherwise, there are tons of people who are able to keep themselves safe from someone who might move onto the next.. in a better world, we want to avoid that. We also don't want to rely on a male run site with largely women workers to deal out the right response.

Mike403

@BooksnTeas - Just report guys who can't follow the rules so they can be banned. If you block them, they'll most likely just laugh it off and move on to the next person.

BooksnTeas

@Mike403 I don't think following each person's stated boundaries is in the rules for reporting and banning. That would actually be a good system. I mean, it would be better to tell a person what they've done wrong and trust they might stop doing it to others. (Even if someone was banned for example it doesn't stop them from moving into the next place and doing the same thing. Ask your local priest.)

hugonehugall

@BooksnTeas no problem glad I could help. Hopefully whoever you blocked learned something from it.

BooksnTeas

@hugonehugall, thanks. I did not block them, I wanted them to get the message.

BooksnTeas

@CuddleDuncan I didn't call anyone rude or horrible, I said they broke a boundary of mine. This isn't about decorum, it's about sanctity and I don't let men disrupt that without explaining and it sure is not going to be polite all the time. Tactically, too many women made that error in advance of me.. don't encourage it.. that's beyond rude of you, it's consequential. Just reinforce that boundaries are meant to be accepted and not pushed. Consider that a basic moral code equally applicable to all people regardless of positioning.. is.. universally.. the entire philosophical premise off most world religions.. and scripted a world of capital colonialist supremacy. Let's try something new. Just because it feels bad within the context you're raised in does not mean it is going to feel bad when you expand. Politeness.. you know who is known for that.. the British. You know who colonized half a continent through genocide and slavery??

fisherman99

@BooksnTeas
What about Genghis Khan, Qin Shi Huang, Cyrus the Great, Ashoka, Thutmose III, and Timur Tamerlane?? This are all non white conquerors. It seems that you really have some daddy/man issues. BLM is just a terrorist group. It seems like this site isn't ment to spread any type political propaganda. I'm surprised that you haven't been banned for rants about man hating and propaganda.

BooksnTeas

@fisherman99 im surprised I haven’t been banned as well.
Nice reality you have going for yourself. How does it feel to be backed by the same status quo that fosters a society where white male money holders organize the rule of law? You can’t call daddy issues if you’re aligning yourself with white daddy.

fisherman99

@BooksnTeas
Who ever said that I'm aligning myself with white daddy? I'm black. It is what it is. You can't change what is. Our past history is the past. That's why they call it history. So that we can learn from it and not repeat it. You are the privileged one.

BooksnTeas

@fisherman99 you're a blue square to me. We are both privileged. Read Black Feminist Thought.

fisherman99

Removed personal attack and profanity.[-Sid]

BooksnTeas

@fisherman99 you may be black, but I can assure you are right lined up square with white daddy. Look at your goverment. Look at it with your eyes. That is your issue. And I'm sorry.

fisherman99

Removed personal attack and profanity.[-Sid]

fisherman99

@BooksnTeas
Since you brought up slavery. What about the other blacks that went into the African bush to capture other blacks. Then they sold them to the whites! No one talks about that! It's not like the white people went deep into the African bush and round up the blacks to make them slaves. So, the blacks sold out their own people to make money off of them.

CuddleDuncan

If we may return to the original point for a moment ....

@BooksnTeas it never occurred to me that you had been rude or horrible, I was assuming that somebody else had been towards you. And if they have broken a boundary, then I would say that is beyond rude and horrible because it is completely unacceptable.

I quite agree that we don't need to be polite all the time. I even said, "you are under no particular obligation to be polite". I quite agree that some people, predominently women suffering from social conditioning, are too polite when 'fuck off' would be a more appropriate response.

However, I do not agree that encouraging politeness in general is a bad thing. There is already too much rudeness in the world, we don't need any more except where it is necessary or appropriate.

I do not agree that boundaries are "meant" to be accepted: IMHO they are required to be accepted.

As for the British Empire .... well that was dismantled before I was born.

Reading back my original post, I see that I answered your question. I also agree with your point that people should know why they are being blocked, and I agreed with your point that sometimes it is appropriate to do so rudely.

I'm left feeling that we are natural allies who have somehow got off on the wrong foot.

BooksnTeas

@fisherman99 still white colonialism. you don't need books to see who profited most. Don't try that hard. Just look around you.
And when looking around you, avoid tokenism.. that's part of the game. Everyone is able to participate in male white colonialism. Race is a social construct. So is gender.

@CuddleDuncan thanks. ok.