Is it ok to cry?

So, I’m going through a really rough time right now, which is one of the reason I came here. I have this fear that if I cuddle someone, I’m going to end up in tears because I have been trying to be strong for so long. What I need more than anything is for someone to help me take care of my emotional needs in a way therapy cannot. Is this a normal thing? Please don’t think I’m weird. Also, I can’t afford an professional.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    I think crying during a cuddle is as normal as laughing. You want to have tissues on hand if you're a runny-nosed crier, of course, but otherwise there shouldn't be any problems.

    Mind you, it's just catharsis—not therapy. Your buddy isn't helping you take care of your emotional needs so much as they're just being there while you get it all out, and not judging you harshly for it. Not therapy, just... you know... kindness.

  • I think it's totally fine to cry. Sometimes we all go through difficult times.

  • @DarrenWalker - That’s exactly what I’m looking for - kindness. And letting me get it all out, in a safe space where I’m not alone, would be a great help.

    @FlyingToaster - That makes me feel better. I know everyone goes through hard times, but I have literally been putting off meeting someone to cuddle because I was so afraid I would cry.

    Thank you both.

  • I would let the other person know ahead of time that it’s a possibility, but honestly I think they’ll understand. We’re all here for different reasons, with different struggles and pasts. All of us want comfort & cuddles are a great way to get it.

    TLDR: tell your cuddler first, but if anyone will be cool with it, it’s a CuddleComfort member :)

  • Three cheers for crying! I agree with @cricket26, to let them know and ask if they can roll with that easily. It's easy for some, more challenging for others in my experience. I'd be totally cool with someone crying. A great thing to check out in the initial convo - how are you with crying? Because I might need to. If they say anything freaky, move on to the next one!

  • YES!!! ~ And I totally agree with everyone else's comments so far!!!

    I've been upfront and honest that I very well might cry (like a hard snot flowing ugly cry) and they were open to being there for me through that ~ it didn't happen, but knowing it could and they were okay to hold me through it, was awesome and confirmed I chose well.

    Fyi ~ I didn't lead with that, but for a while I had it on my profile so those looking into me would have a good idea of what might show up. It was few messages in that I mentioned it directly.

    (((HUGS))) to you and good luck.

  • It’s a totally natural feeling so don’t be ashamed or worried!! Send out messages and connect with as many people as you’re comfortable with. If you find that person you can be yourself with and they can understand your feelings, let it out hun!!

  • @DarrenWalker summed it up nicely. ❤️

  • I cried a little bit during a cuddle. I was talking about a friend from 40 years ago, who found me extremely attractive, and if she hadn't already been married to the love of her life, we might have done something about that. I broke down when I talked about her passing away in 2011.

  • Thanks to all of you. This made me feel so much better.

  • Your cuddle session should be a Judgement free zone, your safe space. I don't think its weird at all. Everyone has moments that are hard to handle in this life, but you will get through this! :)

  • Aw I've had people cry. It made me love them more. Sincere feeling and vulnerability are very endearing, and I think the thing lacking that makes us all so lonely.
    It's ok. 💗

  • Crying is always welcome with me! :) It's a perfectly natural and normal emotional release.

  • I am curious why you would feel it's not okay?

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @JasonCuddles: I dunno about you, but I grew up hearing that big boys don't cry. Obvious rubbish, but difficult to get out of your head when it's been put in starting so young.

    You're lucky if you missed out on that. Me, I can't be curious about this particular feeling—I understand it too well.

  • It's not just about growing up. As I adult I have been told to stop crying, or criticised for doing so. Interestingly it was always by women, never by men. The 'men aren't allowed to cry' thing is real and current. These women all had other strengths, but none are in my life now.

    For the record, I have on other occasions been held warmly and soothed by a woman while crying.

    Yes it is ok to cry. A professional once told me of a client who did nothing but cry for the entire session. She just sat there, client didn't even want a hug at the end. A week later they sent an email saying, 'thank you, you changed my life.'

  • I’ve had a lot of cuddlers tell me after our session, that on the drive home or when they got home, they cried hardcore. I wish if that was bottled up in them, I could have told them don’t wait and hold it in. If I’m holding you and soothing you and you need to cry, cry!! It feels so good to just let it out. Honestly ☺️

  • [Deleted User]Ennea2HugU (deleted user)

    My second cuddle as an enthusiast was with someone who had a loved one pass and really needed a hug. We watched a movie and just snuggled at first but afterwards talked and cried. It is actually what made me want to be a professional cuddler. On my way home from the session I kept thinking, "this is why I have broad dutch shoulders, long orangutan arms, and a bosom, and why I have a presence that seems to encourage people to confide in me."
    I feel that is exactly one of the reasons their should be profession cuddlers. Also, it is in the name, comfort.
    Now that I am going through a divorce I am the one in need of comfort and am likely to cry. (hence the reason I am currently not a professional).
    So for sure, go ahead and cry. I think it is something that should never have been out grown. We are social creatures that need each other. Let someone have the privilege of being a warm embrace, a place of comfort, a person of peace.

  • What a lovely post @Ennea2HugU, thank you. I mean, there are lots of lovely posts on this forum, but your one particularly touched me.

  • [Deleted User]Ennea2HugU (deleted user)

    Oh! Thank you. @CuddleDuncan

  • Don’t feel ashamed to cry, it is how our bodies release the sadness that can find itself buried inside of us. I’ve cried many times during a cuddle session. I’ll be honest, I grew up in foster care, never really having anyone. I want to believe I’m strong, but many times I really just want to cry and be held, have someone make everything better. And it’s nice when someone is there for you, holding you while you cry, because why not? We all deserve to feel cared about. And I want to believe if you’re here, it’s because you got to care about others right? Hope you feel better by the way :)

  • edited November 2020

    its okay to cry! I used to bottle everything in but I know now that letting yourself feel those emotions is totally necessary for healing. As a pro, (and an empath) I am prepared for my cuddler to let out their feelings, It actually makes me feel good knowing that my client is comfortable enough to open up. This is a safe space between the cuddler and cuddl-ee! Let yourself feel, it'll be amazing in the end! Big hugs xx

  • Aw babe I hope your feel better 💗. These times are tough for everyone. I wouldn't have a problem with someone crying. I would dry their tears and hug them close 🥺. We've all been there so it's nothing to be ashamed about.

  • Rosie Greer agrees with us all.

  • @Ennea2HugU I'm sorry to hear. I know what you mean, as I recently went through a divorce myself.

  • You are all seriously amazing. I love how supportive you all have been!

  • Crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a natural emotional release, and it’s good.
    Most people on this website understand your situation. We all have our reasons for seeking cuddling. There is no shame in admitting that you may cry.

    I comforted a cuddle buddy who cried as soon as we began. She apologized and I told her there was nothing to apologize for, and to let her emotional energy out, this is a safe space. It was my pleasure to be supportive for her.

    Take your time seeking out a person here, and have some conversation first before meeting to discuss this with them to make sure they understand and that you feel comfortable and supported.

  • Yes, I support my cuddle and chat buddies from of this site in many ways. Typically cuddling sessions involve my cuddle buddy and or I feeling comfortable with discussing happy and or sad experiences. Whether happy or sad, taking turns speaking and actively listening help each other feel better/cared for. I personally do not mind, if cuddle buddies cry, during session. It’s is typically expression of true emotions and trust to be vulnerable. Happy Thanksgiving 🦃!!! to all who welcome the holiday and or celebrate.

  • [Deleted User]DarkLordChungus (deleted user)

    It can be very therapeutic to just let it all out, provided that you've got the right kind of company. The last time I cried was shortly after a fight, where I emerged the victor. However, my opponent was a dear friend. Seeing his inert body brought tears to my eyes, and those who witnessed the duel were awed by my emotional display, saying that I had "given water to the dead", which is a profound thing amongst people who live in the Mojave Desert.

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