Professional cuddlers dating or in relationships - how to deal?

Jealousy and fear of the unknown are all reasonable feelings that strike when you tell someone you love, "Hey baby. I cuddle with strangers. Mostly men. A lot of them."

What would you say as a professional cuddler to assure your partner that your sessions are completely platonic? Undoubtedly, a level of physical attraction is a factor when clients pick from a pool of cuddlers, so sometimes I feel insecure about my role as a touch therapist. Is it just my gendered appearance (young female)? Or am I helping? Do these questions bleed into each other? 

I can't blame boyfriends or girlfriends for feeling doubt or fear. Sessions in truth are platonic but they are deeply intimate, because two people are enmeshed in vulnerability and can replicate a symbiotic child-mother state. Would this count as cheating? There are too many unknown variables. How to relieve our partner's fear for our safety? How to validate it further as a legitimate therapeutic service? 

Answers, please! Very curious to know if any professional cuddlers here even have romantic partners! I understand many of us are polyamorous and asexual, but haven't heard from too many with boyfriends or girlfriends. Very interesting. 

Hugs,
Anna

Excellent topic. From the potentially jealous boyfriend side of things, I admit that I wouldn't like it. Fear that things could go too far is actually quite rational, in my mind. As a client, I know myself and my intentions, but I can't speak for others. It would be very hard/borderline impossible for me to feel comfortable dating a cuddle therapist, if we didn't already have a sort of polyamorous agreement, if I'm being truthful.

Quick edit: I do actually come from an asexual mindset, but to me, that sort of touch is my style of intimacy. Sharing it is very difficult.

I am not dating anyone at the moment but If i was, I would feel weird if my partner was doing that even if it's platonic. I think you would have to sit and discuss with your partner first and see if they are okay with it. 

The people with good intentions are going to look for professional cuddling. They are just looking for hugs. The one's looking for something else don't even bother in this website. This is not to say that they don't stop here to try creeping on women. I think that there are more guys looking for professional cuddling here. When the men looking for sex realize that they won't find it here, they leave.

Maybe you should write a survey for any future clients. Survey or no cuddle. This might help you find out their intentions. A little psychology (:

All this hurts to hear, but thank you everyone for your honesty. I would love to hear input from others! 

I don't think it's anyone's intent to hurt. I think what it boils down to is personal choice. Professional cuddling vs. long term relationship or a way to comfortably integrate the two. Sometimes we need to make decisions and hope we've made the correct ones.

I've been a professional snuggler for a couple months now and when I was thinking of doing this, I was scared to tell my boyfriend. I assumed he would say no and judge me, so when I explained it to him, he was a little wary at first. But not because he thought I would cheat on him, but because he feared for my safety and didn't want anyone to take advantage of me.
I think being in a relationship and professionally cuddling depends on trust in the relationship. My boyfriend knows I would never cross that line. He just wants me to be safe, so in return I tell him when I'm going to see a client and what time I should be done. And a couple months later, everything is good between us and it feels like just another job when we talk about it.
My boyfriend might be an expection though. He's really trustworthy and understanding, I'm lucky to have him.
I'm not sure if this helps. Every relationship is different. I wish you the best!

As a professional cuddler who identifies as female and monogamous, I feel this is only a tricky matter if you treat it that way. I'm not attached to any one person right now, but I am casually dating a few men who know about what I do. My rule of thumb is to tell them before the second date so that everyone is on the same page and no one's time is wasted.

I've found that many men are actually okay with it. Of course there are plenty of men who respectfully bowed out of pursuing anything with me because they weren't comfortable with my job, but again, at least no one's time was wasted and I wasn't attached enough to be heartsick over it. 

The moral of the story is:
1) Transparency is key
2) There's an ass for every seat. 

xo Lucy

Thank you sweet Ana and Lucy! 

This topic makes me think of the track by T-Pain "I'm 'n Luv (Wit a Stripper)." Although falling in love with a stripper is a major trope in pop culture because it's controversial, it has in small ways increased acceptance of dating strippers (think Amber Rose). I have major hope that we'll continue extending our inclusivity to quirky jobs. But it makes me smile to think, at this point in history and culture, that people may be more comfortable dating a stripper than sharing cuddles from a professional cuddler.

Edit: In retrospect, I think people are more accepting of dating strippers with the mindset they will not be doing it for long. I'm afraid this might be the same for individuals who may be open to relationships with professional cuddlers- open to it as an odd job but not as a passion career. 

Hugs,
Anna

Hi Kuddlebunny!
I would say that dating a professional cuddler is more like dating a massage therapist. They both offer a therapeutic service.

If the concerns of the person you are dating extend beyond making sure that you're operating in a safe fashion, then I would say that it is the concept of cuddling as a therapeutic service they have a problem with. You probably just need to give them time to get used to the idea. When cuddling becomes as mainstream as massage I'm sure no one would mind. 

I'm relatively new to this site and professional cuddling but I've found it to be one of the most rewarding and enjoyable jobs I've had.  

I am not a pro but I am a married woman, when I found this site and before even registering I talked to my husband about it and he was ok with it, his only concern was my safety and we figured I will give it a try cuddling somewhere public like the cinema or a sofa in a coffee shop. He is not the jealous type and he obviously trust me. Our marriage situation is not the most normal though, due visa issues and work we are living apart, we only see each other every 2 months and that is why I get lonely.

He loves me enough to understand I have a need that due distance he cannot take care of ATM, an insecure guy would certainly be too closed minded / selfish and rather I suffer through it. We have even talked of me keep doing it once we are together as I am a super affectionate person and he sometimes is too busy juggling both school and work. I feel honestly humbled to have the love of such a man.

Anyways, I don't see it as cheating, it would be a bit like saying if you are a psychologist and marry, then you are emotionally cheating on your spouse until you retire opening up to someone is a need, some people talk about their issues with friends, relatives and some... pay for someone who will listen.

Toineson

@Kuddlebunny  If my girlfriend was a professional cuddler I believe I would be ok with it.  I think I would choose to trust her, and if I was unable to trust her then to me it would seem the relationship was already in a precarious position to begin with and perhaps a sign that there were already some problems within our relationship.  But then again most of our partners may not be as familiar with the cuddling movement as we are and thus may be less likely to keep an open mind (at least at first).  I think we could work through it though (myself and my hypothetical girlfriend who is a professional cuddler, let's call her Samantha hehe

I'm not going to deny that I *might* feel a tinge of initial jealousy but that's human and I'd like to think I could get past that pretty quickly.  Samantha and I would likely emerge even stronger as a unit as a result of this test of trust.  That sounds very intimate.  Yes I like this.  Samantha needs to cuddle with other men asap. 

I saw a video of one of the women who works as a professional cuddler through "Cuddlist", and she is married - she talks in the video about how she feels cuddling is a different thing from romantic/sexual relationships. I think if your partner has a secure attachment style, is open minded and understands the purpose of platonic cuddling, they would be more accepting. Personally, if I were in a romantic relationship with a guy, I would prefer to only cuddle women and gay guys. However, to each their own!

Gustav

supply and demand without the sex but still pay for the time and the company