You can do it! Feed your brain good vibes 😎

MrPaul

Many of us are seeking cuddling and not finding it. Or, we cuddle but can’t do so as often as we would like, due to any number of reasons.

Perhaps you have heard that if you can imagine yourself doing an activity that requires practice to improve, you receive the same benefits and learning as if you actually did the activity. Research supports this interesting phenomenon. I‘ve tried it myself with success.

So, when you’re not able to physically cuddle, imagine that you are cuddling. Think about the sensations, the warmth, the good feelings that you exchange with the other person. If you have cuddled with someone in the past and enjoyed it, remember that experience. If not, imagine being with your ideal cuddling partner.

Have you tried this technique?
Has it benefited you?

sjb1973

I took a course in mindful self-compassion a while back, and we learned a bit about the benefits of giving yourself a good supportive cuddle or stroke. Apparently even self-touch can release oxytocin and make you feel calmer. There's more on Kristin Neff's website.

I haven't tried simply imagining a cuddle @MrPaul but I'll give it a go. I imagine there might be some benefits if you can imagine it well enough. And maybe some imaginative work plus self-cuddle could be a good combo...

"Perhaps you have heard that if you can imagine yourself doing an activity that requires practice to improve, you receive the same benefits and learning as if you actually did the activity. Research supports this interesting phenomenon. I‘ve tried it myself with success."

I often fantasize about being a heart surgeon. Haven't had much success on that front, but Huitzilopochtli is probably pleased with all of the offerings that result from my failures, so at least there's that.

xelda

@MrPaul Yes!! I love this! In addition to what you've already said, I do a few different mind, body, spirit practices that I think could be adapted with a virtual cuddle buddy to to achieve some of the benefits of cuddling. I think it would take more work, imagination and openness than physical cuddling; I imagine the results would probably feel a bit less than the physical cuddling, but a bit more than doing it alone. I also think that doing some of these practices during physical cuddling would increase all the benefits exponentially!

Our minds and spirits have super powers!

FlyingToaster

I've imagined myself practicing a foreign language I've studied, and I think it provided some benefit. I've also noticed I feel better if I think about cuddling.

Mmm.

While studies have shown that thinking about exercising, say, activates the same parts of the brain that activate when you're actually exercising, this is pretty much just a brain thing. Sure, the brain can have some interesting effects on the body (this is how we get psychosomatic symptoms for illnesses we don't in fact have, for example)... but it's not the same as moving your muscles, and you're not gonna get a six-pack just thinking about it.

That said, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to trick your brain into releasing the same chemicals it does during a cuddle (assuming you've got a good enough imagination). I say go for it.

xelda

@DarrenWalker Our minds are so powerful that research studies need to adjust numbers to accommodate for the placebo effect. People often use it to dismiss things, "ahhhh, it's all in yer head, man". I say, let's use those powers for good and reap the benefits.

Oxytocin, often called the "cuddle hormone", can be produced in a variety of ways; not just by cuddling.
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-hormone

@xelda: The brain is part of the body. It'd be pretty weird if things going on with an organ had no effect on the rest of the body.

And yeah, there are lots of ways to get your body to produce enjoyable hormones. I still say tricking your brain into thinking you're cuddling sounds like a way that could work. At the very least, I don't see why it shouldn't.

UKGuy

A full-length body pillow helps with the imagination.