Attachment Style Survey - The psychology of relationships

BotWithFeelings

https://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl

So, above is a test for your attachment style. There are also plenty of other alternatives online. Your attachment style affects all relationships from platonic to romantic. It comes from the highly researched and tested attachment theory. In adults, there are 4 styles. I am curious to know what the most common one here is.

Other related links

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/attachment-theory#learn-more

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

Golly gee, a quiz!

The quiz goes on and on about romantic relationships. In my case, I feel like it's worthwhile to mention that I never actively seek them out. They just sort of happen. Romance isn't something that I ever crave.

However, I also feel the same about platonic relationships.

Well, bugger. Cut off at the very gate!

I guess it's the articles for me. Or... hmm. I suppose I could take the test twice.

---

Male:

Female:

...Huh. Not much difference.

Might be worth noting that I had to cut "romance" and "romantic" out of practically every question in order to be able to answer it. I'm aro. I don't do anything romantically—and that includes attachment.

All my relationships are platonic.

MrPaul

Secure 😊

BotWithFeelings

Definitely interesting so far

JoyfulHeart

I'm in the preoccupied/anxious quadrant. I had to answer based on my most recent romantic relationship, which ended in divorce 5 years ago. Since that time I have become less anxious, but I still have occasional remnants of my former fear of abandonment.

My first cuddle session was about 3 years ago, and I've found that session and the following ones to be profoundly healing. This is largely because of the sense of being accepted and even celebrated.

Edit:

I went back and retook the quiz, substituting "friends" for romantic partner, and I ended up in the "secure" quadrant, just to the left of the vertical axis. It's encouraging to see and acknowledge what I see and a positive change in myself.

I'm the very worst of them, fearful-avoidant/disorganized. But I've been working on that a few years in therapy, and it is getting better. Hoping one day I'll make it to secure as well

JoyfulHeart

@squeakytoy Kudos to you! Growing and healing is hard work!

@JoyfulHeart , thanks!!

BotWithFeelings

@JoyfulHeart if you make an account you can take an more in depth test that will show your attachment in relation to other relationships (parents,friends, strangers) and keep a history of changes.

*I have no affiliation to this site, just fyi.

BotWithFeelings

I guess in the spirit of fairness, my results say preoccupied. ... It may or may not be textbook.

TheMidnightOwl

Yes, this basic test is tricky to take because we can have completely different attachment styles with different types of relationships as some of you noticed in your differing results. Best to take it several times with each different type of relationship in mind. (e.g. for someone who identifies as bisexual: 1. romantic male partners, 2. romantic female partners, 3. close platonic friends, etc.).

If you have an insecure attachment style, it's not your fault. Our primary caregivers conditioned this in us. Thankfully, we can all develop "earned secure" attachments with safe, healthy others and healing through corrective experiences.

A fantastic additional resource explaining much on this topic, and may help determine your style(s) without the test: https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-improve-relationships-by-knowing-your-attachment-style/

For continued nerding out on this topic: https://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

Importance

I thought about my different relationships over the years and took the test multiple times, once for each specific relationship, I got a different result each time. I understand the value of the test and I also don’t understand the value of the test. It is interesting nonetheless.

Edit: I have had people in my life that it made me feel extremely safe and secure. And I have had men that have neglected me and told me that I was worthless. Every relationship is so different and reveals a different type of attachment.

BotWithFeelings

@Importance @TheMidnightOwl I recommend the full test. THis will allow you to get more depth. A psychologist would probably be better for taking action though.

https://yourpersonality.net/attachment/

quixotic_life

@TheMidnightOwl ~ Thank you for your take and the links... I'll be doing some "nerding out" for sure!!

sunnysideup

@UltimateChungus Yeah I don't actively seek out friendships, they just sort of happen, so I've never had to crave them. Haven't had the same luck with romantic attachments, though.

How would one take this test if they've never been romantically involved with someone?

BotWithFeelings

Replace "romantic partner" with whatever the closest relationship you have/had was. The test for option b actually asks you to do this at the top. @sunnysideup

TheMidnightOwl

@quixotic_life
Yay! I love when people appreciate and share my nerding out. Hope you find some amazing info.

@BotWithFeelings
This is a topic I’m quite familiar with and passionate about due to my education background and current graduate studies. So I’ve taken many assessments on it already. Thanks for sharing it here for everybody to learn more about. It’s so important to be aware of in all our relationships!

BotWithFeelings

@Importance glad to hear it. I just wanted to let you and others know that you can get multiple assessments without having to retake the test multiple times. What is your area of study?

I love that there's been a spike in "This is a trap" answers to the poll

TheMidnightOwl

@BotWithFeelings
I’m guessing you tagged the wrong person in your last comment? Lol I study various mental health subjects.