Iowan girls? Or am I alone in this state?

Seriously, living in Iowa and trying to find people online for something specific is like trying to catch a specific fish in the entire ocean. And by that I don't mean a type of fish. I mean literally one fish, like you named a goldfish and accidentally lost it in the ocean. I have had no luck in my search for a cuddle buddy, anywhere. Do they exist? Or am I better off cuddling a yeti?
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