@MrFirefighter My pronouns are: Them/Facts/don’t care about your made up genders
I hear ya. I'm sure you understood I was being sarcastic earlier.
I might be mistaken about the term, but as I understand it, intersex would include several types of hermaphrodite who are actually born with variations of the two more common genders. Probably not an easy card to be dealt-
@CoolActionGuy You are confusing sex and gender. Educate yourself on what intersex actually means before you start spouting ignorant discriminatory statements. https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001669.htm
What is there to educate about? There are only two genders.
Knock it off, @CoolActionGuy and @MrFirefighter - you're welcome to your ignorances, but stop it spreading it on the forums with the discriminatory posts and opinions that are NOT based on facts. [-Sid]
Of course I would. 🤗 Ironically, since I like men, an intersex person would be closer to my preferred gender than a woman, but I would cuddle a woman too. After all, cuddling is a non-sexual activity, like massage. It’s all theoretical for me at the moment with a pandemic surging and a husband who’s not sure he is okay with my cuddling others, but yeah, I would cuddle a person of any gender! Aside from what I do with my husband, I miss cuddling. 🫂
@Sideon Your feelings about genders are actually not facts.
Personally to me, It doesn’t matter who or what you are. I do not cuddle for non platonic purposes. I believe the only person or peoples that your sex, gender and/or gender identification truly concerns is you, your romantic partner (if you have one), and whoever else you want it to concern. It is not my job or honestly right to judge anyone for any reason.
@Sideon Facts over feelings. Your feelings say that there are multiple genders. There are only two.
@CoolActionGuy Even if there are only two genders, an intersex person is literally both and neither.
Consider yourself officially warned, @CoolActionGuy - I'm happy to give you a forum timeout for Christmas.[-Sid]
@cualtzin: I deliberately didn't include a "don't know" answer because the question I was hoping to get answered was essentially "All else being acceptable, would you cuddle an intersex person?"
I was curious because so many people have said they'd never cuddle a man, no matter what.
Is it the gender—the personality and social role? I wondered. Or is it the sex—the body—that's the issue for these people? Or, then again, is it maybe the assumed sexual orientation?
I dunno about right or wrong answers, really. I was just curious.
I have another account if you ban me so go ahead! Multiple accounts are not allowed. Goodbye. [-Sid]
Interesting what some are willing to put in writing.
Often times people who are considering cuddling someone will do a forum search, to read what they've contributed, to get a sense of their character.
So knowing that at some point one may want to cuddle, and the person they wish to cuddle might scroll through these pages... It would make sense to not dig one's heels in, or be intentionally offensive, on something they're so completely ignorant and clearly narrow-minded about.
To each their own & good luck ~ Because I know I'm not alone in taking a hard pass on someone I couldn't trust because they're unable to acknowledge another's existence (especially when explained in detail) because it would lead me to believe they would dismiss any nuances of mine too.
SMH.
@CoolActionGuy: It might be helpful to consider the difference between the words "gender" and "sex."
Gender is psychological and social, having to do with your personality and role. There are only two basic social roles: male and female. Each comes with its own set of stereotypical personality traits and interaction styles.
Recently people have been reacting against the limitations of having only two basic genders socially, and have been looking into expansions.
Society at large still only provides the two basic categories, and continues to insist on sticking everybody into one of the two traditional boxes. There are, however, more types of personality and social role (more genders) than just the two.
Sex is physical.
Carry on, folks. My one feeling is ready to discuss and differentiate between gender and sex, and if anyone else wants to demonstrate their willful ignorance, I'm happy to help educate them or show them the door.[-Sid]
@DarrenWalker Sorry if this is a sore subject, and I don’t know if you have discussed this elsewhere, but are you intersex, and if so, what have been your experiences of rejection and acceptance among prospective or actual cuddle partners? Please share whatever you feel comfortable with or DM me. And know that I respect your personhood no matter how it may be gendered. 🤗
@nurturingman: It's... a semi-sore subject. Thanks for your considerate handling of it!
To answer your question: I prefer to keep my privates very private. Nothing in my pants ever reaches out and says hello during any cuddle, so people are left to believe whatever assumptions they've made—I don't think I've ever cuddled anyone through this site who actually knew what's between my legs.
Most people look at me and assume "male" straight off. A few assume I'm female (especially if they're thinking of cuddling me). Some start assuming I'm one of the two traditional sexes, then change their minds and switch to the other. No one ever guesses "intersex."
Probably because "intersex" isn't a traditionally assigned sex with a stereotypical personality and social role attached. That's... life, I guess?
[shrug] Oh well.
No one ever guesses "intersex."
@DarrenWalker intersex conditions are also extremely rare. Individuals whose primary sexual characteristics are both are even rarer, so rare the first group of intersex individuals seem common. No one guesses intersex because you aren't very likely to come into contact with some who is. Also, as this thread demonstrates, some people don't even know what intersex is.
@BotWithFeelings: And yet, if our society called intersex babies intersex instead of chopping up their genitals and slapping male/female labels on them—if our society had traditional roles for intersex people—if there were stereotypes for personality and appearance associated with being intersex—folks might be more likely to go for that third option when they saw someone who they couldn't firmly place as one of the other two.
Yes, even if that third social box had very few people in it. Just having the box available makes a difference. I'd be willing to accept the assumption that I was a shaman or something!
I agree that doctors shouldn't make life serious and life altering cosmetic surgery on people who can't choose just for convenience. However I fundamentally disagree with the idea that we need more labels. I think we should just stop expecting people to behave based on things they had no choice in. I think gender roles are just bad.
@BotWithFeelings: Like you, I think it's ridiculous to expect all people to fit into preset boxes. I'd like to get rid of the boxes—no more assumptions about personality, appearance, or social role! But if we can't have total freedom from those social boxes I'd at least like more room to move around in: more boxes, more space.
Yes. That's it.
Regarding cuddle partners, I do not discriminate on the basis of age, race, sex, gender, orientation, body type, nationality, appearance, religion, ethnicity . . .
What it takes to get put on my Do Not Cuddle list: ANY hint of non-platonic cuddling, perfume of any type, bad personal hygiene, smelling like tobacco or alcohol, or treating me badly in any way, shape, or form.
@bekah_cuddles It’s a question because there are men who won’t cuddle men obviously and women who won’t cuddle other women and people who won’t cuddle trans people. So you just can’t assume anyone or everyone would cuddle an intersex person. It’s all about preferences.
@hugonehugall I see your profile says “cuddles women” (not “cuddles everyone”), so I guess the “all” in your username hugonehugall refers to all women, not all genders. I’m not criticizing your decision to cuddle one gender; I’m just noting the limitation.
@DarrenWalker Thanks for your response. I did not mean to pry as to which parts of your body were male and which female; I was just wondering whether the question applied to you personally and why you were asking it. I don’t know whether some of the people who responded earlier actually looked at your profile and saw that you say your gender is “agender, nonbinary,” and I wonder whether, if they did, they would realize this question was not entirely hypothetical for you, and that you might have had experiences of rejection yourself. I would like to think that if they had realized that, they might have been more sensitive. Of course a poll is a question without explanation, but having read your profile and posts in the past, I was curious to know more about you and your background.
I want to apologize for my conflation of sex and gender earlier when I, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, said that an intersex person would be closer to my gender preference than a woman. I had already learned of the distinction between sex and gender several years ago, but I momentarily forgot about it. I understand better now that a person born intersex —because the sex we are born with is about “parts,” not identity — could identify as any gender, be it male, female, nonbinary, or otherwise.