Tell me a joke

Lets laugh πŸ˜‚

Comments

  • What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Long jeopardy music....................................

    .......................................................................................

    ........... The Elephino... hahahaha

    ...

    ....

  • I saw a clown driving on the highway madas hell smoking a cigarette πŸ˜… I feel bad but that was funny af! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • edited December 2020

    What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
    Big holes all over Australia.

    I broke a mirror and got 7 years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5.

    I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

    Did I already tell you my deja-vu joke?

    There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. I'm wondering if only a fraction of people will get this.

    A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting in a cafe, and across the street, they see 2 people go into a house and come out with a third person. The physicist says, "I don't think there's enough information to make a conclusion about what has happened." The biologist says, "It looks like they reproduced and added a member to the population." The mathematician says, "If one person goes into the house now, the house will be empty."

  • [Deleted User]NicoBoco (deleted user)

    Did you hear about the two guys that robbed at calendar factory?
    They each got six months.

    I used to work there... at the calendar factory... but I got fired for taking days off.

    Did a short stint at a shoe recycling factory, but it was too sole-crushing.

    Now I'm looking for a job at a mirror factory. I could really see myself there.

  • edited December 2020

    Three pro cuddlers are walking down the street together , a cuddlist , a snuggle buddie , and a CC pro , and they are talking about cuddling and clients , they are basically talking shop , , and they come upon a church , .... which gives the cuddlist an idea ...

    β€œMY CLIENTS are so holy , their hands will NEVER sin . They AGREE to obey my boundaries β€œ

    The CC pro laughs and says β€œ OH that’s nothing . MY clients wouldn’t even dream of sinning β€œ

    Then the snuggle buddie says β€œ MY CLIENTS are the holiest ! They say their prayers during our sessions !”

    β€œOH ? How is that ?” The other two ask surprised .

    β€œWell... just last night my client fell asleep while we were cuddling and he started praying that we would take off our little fig leaves we were wearing β€œ

  • [Deleted User]sage_wisdom (deleted user)

    why did the horse talk with his mouth full?

  • When is a door not a door? when it's ajar.

  • [Deleted User]sage_wisdom (deleted user)

    why did the horse talk with his mouth full? answer: he forgot his stable manners.

  • What do dentists call x-rays? Tooth pics-

  • [Deleted User]kyguy7834 (deleted user)

    A scientist was testing to see how far a frog could jump. He said "jump" and the frog jumped 4 feet. He cut off one of its legs and told it to "jump". The frog jumped 3 feet. He cut off another leg and told it to "jump". The frog jumped two feet. He cut yet another of the frog's legs and then told it "jump". The frog jumped one foot. He then cut off the last of the frog's legs and told it to "jump". The frog didn't move. The scientist concluded that cutting off all of the frog's legs made it deaf.

  • Did you ever notice that the most popular and least popular cuddling positions are named after kitchen utensils ?

    The most popular is the SPOON

    The least popular is the LAY DULL

  • [Deleted User]kyguy7834 (deleted user)

    I'm wondering if there's a way for the jokes to be measured by popularity here.

  • [Deleted User]Duryea (deleted user)

    I wrote a bunch of puns on a piece of paper and left it for my daughter. Later, I asked her what she thought of them and her answer was that "they were tearable"....

  • I asked 100 women - which Shampoo they preferred - the top Answer was - How the H... did u get in here.!,

  • [Deleted User]kyguy7834 (deleted user)

    America has a $27 trillion national debt problem, and there are jokers in the media who are downplaying the situation. Indeed, there were three national debates this past election year, and not once was the national debt a topic that was discussed. Now that's a joke.

  • @kyguy7834 there was talk about like and dislike little flags you could out in posts but it was decided that folks here are too emotional

  • Did you hear about the cuddler who was banished for wanting to cuddle in an Australian costume ?

    He showed up in his down - under wear

  • I heard about a restaurant on the moon - They have great food, but there's no atmosphere.

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