I feel that some cuddlers never reply to their emails. Do you feel the same?
They're most likely busy and have other things going on in their lives. I wouldn't take it personally.
Yes. It's a recurring problem, and one that we hope to do something about. As long as you are writing friendly, polite, platonic messages do not take it personally.
You are a man who cuddles women. Do a search on your area for both men and women, and the true nature of the difficulty will be clear!
There is good advice around this forum about what to do. (This comes up frequently.) And welcome!
As a pro cuddler, I have simple guidelines to guarantee a reply. If they’re not followed I do not reply. It clearly states that in my profile. Plus it’s common everyday manners. I require a 1. name, 2. photo and 3. availability for a video chat. I’ll even reply with 1 & 2. A simple hi my name is Sam, attached is my photo and I’d like to....blah blah. I don’t reply to a random Yo what’s up? You busy tonight? You’re pretty...I mean really. It’s supposed to be professional and platonic. I’m all for friendly but how about introducing yourself first.
@Kai816 yo what’s up you’re busy tonight? 😶🙈
@jay221 I genuinely don’t think there’s an universal answer .... there could be various of reasons (and are) as to why but I think we all can agree that being polite / courteous / kind & respectful goes a long way ... @Kai816 offers great insight
I just received a message that greeted me by my user name, did not introduce themselves, then followed with 3 sentences:
"What's your rate?" I am not a Pro.
"You'll have to host" States clearly on my page, that I won't
"Let's meet and cuddle" I clearly say I'm respecting COVID rules for my area, which dictate no socializing, masked in all public spaces, and that I'm only leaving the house for supply runs.
So, yeah. I messaged back, but it wasn't cordial:
No. No. No. Learn how to read.
I get several msgs a day, usually 1 liners from a profile with no pics, no bio.
I tried being gentle and helpful, but that's usually disregarded, and met with "when?"
My cost to benefit ratio is already taxed, without being a tutor to those that refuse to learn
@MaullySterling 😅😅
I definitely forgot to mention, if someone took the time to write out their profiles , take the time to read it ☺️
I saved before I finished, oops. Done, now
@introvme Thank you
Ofcourse @MaullySterling
Are you talking about the pros or just regular ones? Either way there can be a lot of reasons. The first is they may be inactive on the site. You can check when they last logged in on their profile. If it says 6 months or even 2 or 1 month then that can be why. The 2nd reason is they are either busy with their lives or if they are on here they are likely receiving many messages to respond too. The 3rd could also be your approach when you email them. Ask for some helpful tips from others if it is #3 tripping you up. Introvme gave some good advice. Read their profiles and show that you have read it and respect it. You could also do something to make yours show something interesting about yourself. Best of luck.
Women on the site probably have so many messages that it can be overwhelming. So it can get lost man the shuffle whether pro or not. I tried 3 times with one cuddler and they responded and we meet. They said they had 6 pages of new messages to go through, so it’s nothing personal sometimes. Luck of the draw it seems.
@MaullySterling big hug for you. 🤗 You must be really fed up with this rubbish. Thank you for staying with us.
@jay221 one of the reasons that people may not reply to you is because they are exhausted by the messages described by MaullySterling. Or because after five such messages in their Inbox in a row, they skipped the next couple which happened to include yours.
Build up your karmas that seems to go further then pics sometimes.
@MaullySterling What the heck?? I don't understand how messages like you received even happen. Perhaps we do need mandatory required training for all new members on how this site works.
@timetocuddle07 Good idea for a new member. Women are hyper alert of creepy men; perhaps having a a good karma can be sign that you are a safe, respectful person.
@CuddleDuncan Thank you, back atcha.
@sunnysideup Nah, it's a good indicator. Otherwise, they might fly under the radar.
@timetocuddle07 i completely agree with you, that & also building out profiles .... I believe the ones to experience the most success on here with the enthusiast crowd will be those who have 3 things which are 1. Several pics available 2 . A well written detailed profile and 3 . Karmas (along with their approach when reaching out & carrying out / being able to hold conversations- maintaining interest with their interested party & being patient - being kind / courteous / respectful should be a given...
I think that we, the men on here are trying to find reasons as to why we’re not getting responses & are just focusing on the fact that there are other men that ruin it for us all,, although yes it is true that there are men who paint a bad picture for the rest, this isn’t solely the reason as to why (or the main) & we need to get rid of that narrative & here’s why...
1 . The ladies have an immense amount of options. (in any & every market we search, be it zip code / city / state ect the guys will far outnumber the ladies by a lot)
2 . every single female enthusiat here that ive come across on the threads could go pro if they wanted to & realize success (while it is true some sooner than others , they will realize bookings - guys ummm nahhh unless they are targeting a male crowd I would imagine) most / the vast majority won’t - they would just be lots of sitting male pro profiles , am I saying that females have never or would never pay for cuddles? Not at all
3 . the woman on here already knew that there would be creepy man on here ...it is a reality not just here , & not just on online platforms such as social media (Instagram/ Facebook/ Twitter and or dating apps & the list goes on) but also in the actual world 🌎... they have come across it , by no means am I saying that we can’t be empathetic to the situation & be allies & spread the word, what I’m saying is that this isn’t the sole or main reason why us guys don’t get responses from the female enthusiasts .. CC has the options to both block & flag .... a lot of people here have given amazing suggestions , even some willing to pay for a verification process ect , I think that if this happens (which I will have no problem with as it will reduce the vast amount of fakes or a negative crowd) I think many will be very disappointed to find that they are still not getting any responses / replies or messages because again, we far outnumber the female population by a very large margin , they have sooo many options , 2 every female enthusiast could go pro if they wanted to, so they are going to be very picky & 3 the reality will continue .... the best we can do is accept the reality of the circumstance, take the steps to stand out from the rest, & feel very fortunate when someone does reply back & engages us (which still doesn’t guarantee a cuddling session) or as someone here once said, “I don’t look forward to reaching out to enthusiasts, I have to invest lots of time & effort to see if we even click, & if it does leads to a cuddle session it doesn’t guarantee that we will click than & there will be a follow up from either side, I much just rather target the pro crowd”
Some will disagree / some will agree but these are my views & how I see it due to all the factors that are present.
@introvme I agree with what you said, creepy men is just one aspect for why the men don't get responses. Your points you bring up are valid. It is primarily due to the ratio among other things you touch upon, in my opinion.
I have met up with one enthusiast on here, and interestingly, my profile was in is most bare state, with no photos and only about one or two lines in the profile description. I've since made many edits to my profile and have even added pictures; none of that helped.
@jay221 I've blocked you, any contact you have with me will be in plain sight.
Your first msg to me is 3 lines, including "Whereabts in toronto ru?"
No, internet stranger, none of your business... I keep it vague and general.
You don't take the cue, so I know that in person, you likely would not notice, or deliberately disregard, any evasive verbal or physical actions on my part.
But that's not enough.
Your next msg: "Im in scarborough. You proved a lot of things. Perhaps we can talk about it during our cuddle session 😎"
This feels downright aggressive. On top of that, your profile says you live in Mississauga, but you're saying you're in Scarborough. That's at least an hour's drive difference. One West of my city, one East of my city.
Lying doesn't sit well, and you feel like a predator, testing my boundaries.
@MaullySterling - my profile says both toronto and mississauga. Scarborough is a part of toronto. Hope you are aware of that😞
Hrm...🤔 Reasons they may not respond (and that are truly none of our business) may include:
They... - have a life/other obligations & interests - aren't interested right now - didn't see anything in your message that struck their "interest" cord - have pandemic concerns/are currently hospitalized/contagious - are stressed from the election, BLM concerns, job security, the rise of crime and homelessness, any number of natural disasters (wildfires, hurricanes, tornados, wildfires, floods, etc.) - are concerned/caring for loved ones - can tell from your message you didn't take time to read their profile - are overloaded from all the tech in their life, and another email is just too much right now - opened your message after the time frame you gave had already passed - read one from someone who was just before you, and they were such a complete asshat, it's put them off wanting to look at CC let alone open another message that may be more of the same - have searched the forums to see how you interact with others (if at all) and they weren't impressed by what they did/didn't find - have time of year stuff going on (holidays/wintery weather) so perhaps they're busy, depressed, are in need of alone/hibernation time, or all of the above - updated their profile, announcing they won't be messaging/cuddling, but it didn't save - aren't intrigued by your profile - already have enough cuddle buddies/clients and are so blissed-out they forgot/haven't thought to update - had a schedule conflict during the time you requested - received your message on the heels of a really bad day - might have messages going to spam - don't have a reason/they just don't want to reply
And I'm sure there are countless others.
So the lack of a response isn't necessarily about you. But even so, take time every once in a while to edit/update your profile, put some sort of pic up (if you haven't already), and when you do reach out ~ be timeless, sincere and thoughtful. Because if they're choosing between two or more people to engage with, how you present yourself is likely to be a determining factor.
Ty @sunnysideup
@quixotic_life I’m not sure your list is long enough .... might want to add a few more reasons
More reasons (as requested by @hugonehugall)...
🤣😂🤣 Lol ~ JK! 🤪
@jay221 I'm not sure if you are genuinely looking for feedback, or just kinda complaining.
@quixotic_life has awesome points, as always 😃. We don't really have to explain why we don't respond; no response just means "no thank you, not interested", and we may not have the time or emotional energy to explain why. It could be a hundred reasons that have nothing to do with you. Or a little bit to do with you, but more to do with the many guys before you that have drained our energy or done/said things to make us highly sensitive and guarded.
If you'd like some genuine feedback:
Given that @MaullySterling and I have had similar experiences with your private messages, I'm wondering if you're trying a strategy of putting very little effort into a lot of people, but then get disappointed when most don't respond at all to the first one-liner, or stopped responding after the above-mentioned reasons.
Take your time, be thoughtful, try to make a connection with a person (or a few people).
@quixotic_life A good list - item number three on your list particularly struck me. Women likely receive a boatload of one-liner messages along the lines of "How are you doing."
I'd add one more to your list, I think it's an important one but it might be unpopular: that they did not respond because they did not find you (or the you in your photos) physically attractive enough. My intuition tells me it's a big factor, even though it isn't brought up much. There was even a thread on here asking if it was okay to prefer attractive people to cuddle with.
@hugonehugall that comment was epic 😅😂🤣
@quixotic_life that reply was epic 😅😂🤣
I needed that laugh both of you!! 😆
@sunnysideup For me, it's not about attraction. Maybe when I was shopping for a sperm donor / life partner, [EDIT: to have attractive kids] but really, all I look for in any interaction, is someone I can look in the eye, build a rapport with. Since this is online, a photo helps, for me to imagine.
If I like someone, have respect for them, they become very attractive to me.
Likewise, a very conventionally attractive person, can look like the troll you'd find under a bridge, to me.
If it is your first e mail just asking a few friendly questions and they do not reply. They are called **INCONSIDERATE **. and it is a RED FLAG to avoid them . No one needs inconsiderate people as friends. It takes less than a minute for a reply
@MaullySterling - I've been asked where in Aurora I live. It's not really a red flag, but you don't have to respond. It may be just an ice breaker to get a conversation going.