Its hard to find a cuddle buddy in my area
Does anyone else have this problem?
I don't think it's "easy" for anyone! Just like any other relationship, it takes some relationship-building work, and a bit of luck that there are people in your area who might be a good match. Also, it's COVID. People are being extra cautious.
There are lots and lots of threads on this topic, with lots and lots of suggestions as to how to go about it. At a glance, maybe fill out your profile, add some interesting pics (they don't even have to be of you, but maybe of things you like), and participate in threads on the forums that are interesting to you.
@xelda made excellent points!!. I'd follow all the advice she gave. I'd also add that It's the height of COVID, in December, COVID was the leading cause of death! Many areas are in recommended lockdowns so it isn't a great time. After this blows over I'm sure you'll find someone.
I haven't met with an enthusiast in over a year, but then again I'm a guy and the ratio is brutal to us guys. My expectations are very low now and I'm now mostly here for the forums.
There are male professional cuddlers in your area in this site and the cuddlist site if you need a cuddle “ fix”
I mean, if you have been looking for a cuddle buddy since May 2018 with no pictures and no profile, I can see why you have had no luck, quite honestly. Why should people make the effort and do all the work to get to know you when you don't advertise yourself?
There is a reason why companies spend millions of pounds a year on ad campaigns- they want people to buy their products. Your profile is your ad campaign, and you can't expect others to do the research to find out if they want to 'buy' you when there are so many other people that HAVE put the effort in to their profiles.
@BuggleBear Good analogy. I like to think of it as applying for jobs, and your resume is your profile.
@just_being_me yes, other female enthusiasts - even with nice photos and well written profiles - do sometimes have a hard time finding male cuddle buddies.
This difficulty appears to be rare on this forum, because there are not many female enthusiasts here. However, my impression is that it is not actually a rare thing.
We talk sometimes about ratios on the site. I'm beginning to think that rather than a simplistic 1:7 we should say 2:6. That is, 2 cuddlers (of all genders including male) to 6 idiots (mostly male).
@just_being_me
Its hard to find a cuddle buddy in my area Does anyone else have this problem?
It's generally easiest to find one in a real world, where you physically meat the other person and can quickly assess mutual attractiveness, initiate conversation, consider exchanging numbers or directly ask for a date, if the chemistry is there. If she's unresponsive, boring or weird, no big deal, you just thank for conversation, turn around and move on.
The worst thing that can happen is that she says no, but since you didn't know her 10 minutes ago, it should not bother you more than,say, driving 5 more minutes to find a parking spot.
Online cuddle buddy, that's similar to online dating, really.
Why would you even want to go through that bullsh*t, if real world interaction is so much easier and effective?
Not to mention that online, it's statistically impossible to date above your league. In real world, that's perfectly possible due to chemistry...
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Just be patient. Good luck
@Importance Sometimes there are good friends right in front of you. I have found you need to step outside of the norm and be more open minded. good luck to you.
It’s possible that the thread starter featured pictures and a lengthy about me For a couple years , then edited them out for a discussion . @BuggleBear
@just_being_me - My advice is to not rely on Cuddle Comfort to find a Cuddle buddy. It's pretty hopeless at satisfying that need.
@Siberian76 "It's generally easiest to find one in a real world"
Wow! Really?! Congrats to you! Seriously, that has not been my experience at all!! I'm fairly gregarious when it's a one off, like when waiting in line or just in typical out and abouting. But I get so flippin awkward when I first meet someone who could potentially be a someone of any significance in my life. I've found CC to be a great way to not have to worry about that piece.
@UKGuy "My advice is to not rely on Cuddle Comfort to find a Cuddle buddy. It's pretty hopeless at satisfying that need."
I think you could have left off that second sentence and it would have been a good suggestion.
@just_being_me - It's pretty not hopeless at satisfying that need.
Many of us do actually find cuddles through here. I suggest you reread and implement the stellar advice already given, project an appealing attitude, and keep trying.
And best of luck!!
@UKGuy I found a cuddle buddy here. So for me it wasn't 'pretty hopeless' it was 'completely successful'. I appreciate that I am fortunate.
Admittedly, I have the time and the opportunity, but I spend probably an average of an hour a day working to increase the number of women active on this website in some way.
@cuddlerforu24 that seems like an odd move to make. Why anyone would be on here with no photos and a blank profile is beyond me.
@BuggleBear Believe it or not, I've seen it happen. I have no idea why. Maybe they changed their mind and decided to be private, some people might do that maybe if they are deciding to deactivate their account (so their picture doesn't show in posts?).
@UKGuy and @CuddleDuncan I have also met with one enthusiast cuddler (when I had a pretty empty profile, to boot). However, it's also been over a year of trying and I haven't met with any other enthusiast, despite filling out my profile, so if that one cuddler wasn't on this site, I would not have met anyone. So I can appreciate that many people might not have found a cuddler despite trying for a very long time.
@CuddleDuncan That's amusing, but probably true alternate interpretation of the ratio. 1:3, 1 normal cuddler to 3 idiot non-cuddlers lol
@quixotic_life I could be wrong, but I take @Siberian76 point to mean find someone like you would any dating partner IRL, but simply make it about cuddling rather than all the other parts of the romantic relationship, since it avoids the pitfalls of the difficulty that CC's ratio brings about. Since it looks like Siberian78 is viewing just_being_me as a man trying to cuddle a woman, what he said makes a lot of sense that way. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone lol.
@sunnysideup & @Siberian76 ~ Yep! That makes sense ~ Thank you.
Though I don't get how that would play out in our "hook-up" culture... What types of venues are you doing this in? Are you just approaching someone who you'd like to cuddle with and you just say it directly? Or, is it more like a get familiar first, see if they're your "type" and then ask? Or, do you "court" your potential cuddle buddies as one does with dating and then ask?
I'm truly impressed that in person has been more successful for you, because those are only the beginning of my neurotic brain squirrel's questions ~ And I just know I'd be highly unlikely to find cuddle success out in the real world for that reason along with a few others too.
But if the numbers are against you here, it does make sense to continue putting yourself out there in the real world too... And to consider hanging up CC fliers in places where those you might like to cuddle would frequent...
At least if on this site, you know they're very likely into cuddles. So connecting for that seems like it would be a lot easier here than approaching a random being with unknown interests.
Either which way ~ The thread title holds for many I suppose... It's "Hard to find a Cuddle Buddy..."
I just joined this site before really thinking about precautions. Now my only real hesitation is because of Covid. Especially with this new strain that is more contagious. Everyone feels that mask precautions are absurd since there is no social distancing when cuddling. I may have to put my cuddling on hold for a while.
Yes it is very hard to find a cuddle buddy.
@quixotic_life
I'm fairly average looking, but I kinda stand out in a crowd at 6'3" with wide shoulders, plus I dress nicely. When you build enough confidence, the awkwardness disappears and you can strike up conversation with any woman at any time. It's really just a skill.
I have gotten dates when grocery shopping, chatting up the bank clerk for 40 minutes, walking my Husky, being in a doggie park or apartment searching.
Of course, you need to be able to distinguish between a genuine interest and them just being nice, but that's where your instincts come into play (after all, 5 minutes ago you didn't know she existed) and I know I can trust mine now (I didn't, in past).
The single greatest advantage of IRL approach is that you get an instant confirmation of chemistry (or lack thereof) and availability (if I am interested, I will ask her out) and eventual exchange of numbers.
There's zero bullsh*t, profile/messaging nonsense, and the related online dating BS.
It's extremely efficient from a time and emotional perspective as you are out there doing your business anyway. No emotions get hurt because you don't know her. Win:Win
Recently I talked to a woman who turned out to not be available but was extremely grateful that I approached her and felt very complimented. I literally made her day. I just asked for a hug and guess what - I got one
@sunnysideup
I could be wrong, but I take @Siberian76 point to mean find someone like you would any dating partner IRL, but simply make it about cuddling rather than all the other parts of the romantic relationship
Correct. Technically it's a hookup minus sex. This means that I don't care if she has five more active hookups, as we're not exclusive. Well, right now there's C-19, so there's that consideration hence I am a bit cautious about that at present and limit my exposure...
The struggle is real!
I agree. Approaching a random person and asking them if they'd like to cuddle could potentially come off as creepy.
@FlyingToaster
Approaching a random person and asking them if they'd like to cuddle could potentially come off as creepy.
Yeah, if YOU make it creepy, then it certainly will be, that's for sure.
It shouldn't take you more than 30-40 seconds to figure out the initial chemistry/interest and see if it makes sense to continue or wish her a great day and turn around with a pleasant smile.
The following is a common sense, but is clearly worth reminding, based on your comment, that you shouldn't do this if:
An online profile plus pictures (highly likely decade old plus Photoshopped) is really good for hookups, but ultimately useless for cuddling.
A 30-second real world convo will give you more actionable intel than dozen messages back and forth. Oh, and unlike online approach, you absolutely cannot get disappointed or WTF'ed upon first meeting, because there's no expectations of anything, no Photoshopped/old pics & you are talking to the real person (warts and all)...