@Mike403 stop telling everyone about my teleported 😅
No where were we? Lol : P
@DrCuddleBug I absolutely see what you’re saying ... & I agree , I actually don’t think the guys here would be leaping , I think they’ll feel fortunate to find a consistent stead cuddle buddy me included lol but yes I haven’t seen any female enthusiast make the claim here before or such scenario or situation dealing with another enthusiast (but who knows I may be wrong)
I hope you all find and keep what you are looking for.
I am not looking to share my cuddle buddy with anyone else.
@Importance I respect that. If either of my cuddle buddies didn't want to share, wanted to be exclusive, I'd be open to that. I think that is best stated early on so there are no misunderstandings down the road. I'm not one to "change the rules" one things are in play.
I would love that as well @importance , I would love to meet an enthusiast who I wouldn’t have to share & that she feels the same, (I’m a 1 person type of guy) as of now ive yet to meet an enthusiast so I take what I can get lol
@DrCuddleBug you’re married and you cuddle anywhere from 2 to 5 women in a time period. You have made my point for me. And I understand there are extenuating circumstances.
I was married to a disabled man. I am no longer married.
@Importance ok. I'm not sure what point you are making. Help me out.
I just don’t want that type of cuddle friendship.
Oh, ok. Understood.
@Importance I'm a guy and I haven't ghosted any of my female enthusiast cuddlers (which has been only 1), but due to lack of cuddling availability I'm still looking for another cuddler.
If a cuddler wanted to be exclusive, I might be open to it but it would be best if these motivations were made aware early on.
@sunnysideup why don’t you hold her anymore?
Its interesting how this topic gets the most people riled up but at the same time gets the most interaction / the most dialogue/ & discussion
“When you’re debating you’re trying to figure out who’s right, when you’re arguing you’re trying to show that you’re right, when you’re discussing you’re sharing ideas. All three have a place.”
Source - wise person
@Importance do you take issue with the professionals on CC who cuddle multiple individuals? (I know that is not YOUR personal desire).
@importance There many factors involved, meeting people is messy. but one of them is that she had multiple cuddlers while I only had one so it was hard for my 'cuddling appetite' to be sated. I think I also felt a feeling of jealousy or two, which I wasn't expecting, so I had to distance myself for a little while. She is a friend to me and I wish her well and still keep in touch with her to this day.
@introvme This topic seems to get people in a ranty mood; But I agree that I learn some interesting stuff on these types of threads if the conversation remains relatively civil.
I take no issue.
I’m just a very jealous person.
So you you take no issue with the men in this site who have multiple cuddle buddies ... it's just not for you. Am I reading that right?
I don’t. Correct
Well, this has been interesting. And it has given me thoughts I hadn't considered.
I hadn't considered a constant change of enthusiasts would happen (nor be desired - I just hadn't thought of it). Nor had I thought of a partner as exclusive, nor limited to a number. I just never thought there'd be more than 1, or maybe 2 at a time. And the 1 wouldn't change. At least not often.
🍿
Wow, what a thread!
@timetocuddle07
Or a pic I easily send a pic to others when its time to actually meet.
You certainly can. But the absense of a pic on the profile - when it is so common - is one of the things that makes this site unwelcoming to female enthusiasts. And we are desperately short of female enthusiasts. There are loads of men on here who need a cuddle and can't get one, and there are lots of women out there who need a cuddle and get put off the second they arrive. If we can make the site more welcoming to women, we will have more female enthusiasts, and more people who need a cuddle will get one. The amount of pain in our world will go down. I don't want anybody to go without a cuddle. I want you to have a cuddle buddy, I really, truly do. The reason I'm so upset is because your own profile contributes to that not happening.
@HunterYoung I did notice the OP's karma. It tells us that the OP can be relied upon to turn up to a professional appointment on time, sober, and behave appropriately. All of which is .... well I was going to write great, but it's not great, it's the standard expected. The trouble is that there is no real personal information there (apart from the massage point). And, as somebody said, all the karma is from people he has paid. I'm not suggesting it isn't true, or delivered thoughtfully and sincerely: just that karma from professionals is not quite the same thing as karma from enthusiasts.
@quixotic_life your kindess is awesome, sometimes. I will plead guilty to not being welcoming on this occasion. On other occasions I have done exactly the kind of thing you suggest. Had the original post been neutral, that is indeed what I might have done. However, the original post, combined with the profile, made me really angry. At the moment in life I am trying very hard to become better at being my true self, and get better at expressing my emotions. And after several years in therapy I think I am succeeding. One of my policy decisions upon becoming active in this forum was to be as open and honest and truthful as possible, and so I do.
My first post is an important part of this thread so I'm going to let it stand as a historical document, rather than editing it. But I would leave in some reference to contempt. The overall impression, to me, does convey something of that sense. I am not suggesting that is deliberate on the part of the OP, but it is there nonetheless, and it is reflective of a wider problem across the site. Consequently, I think it should be called out.
@valkyrievixen point taken, thank you for reminding me.
@sunnysideup there are indeed many blank women's profiles, but that is another question. This site has multiple strong gender inbalances, and that means that gender weighs very heavily on any point. In other words, blank male profiles and blank female ones are completely different issues. On another site they might be the same issue.
@introvme the site switch from enthusiast only to enthusiast and professional was before my time.
Yes. That was also in my mind while I was writing my first post.
@FlyingToaster I did check the OP's history before even starting to write. This was his fourth post and the others were last month i.e. not yesterday: his karma goes back several months. He is not completely new or anything like, and if he had been completely new I would have responded in a completely different way. I recognised while writing the post that I was perhaps not being entirely fair to the OP, that he was standing as an avatar for a wider problem, and I did try to convey that point. But, as I have mentioned above, I am trying in my whole life to be more open and vulnerable, and that post reflected how I was feeling. I'm well aware that vomiting your feelings all over the forum is not the right way to behave, and I did edit the post to tone it down a bit before posting it.
@Importance
So, it’s seems most of us are just hurting here.
Yes, we are all hurting here..... We wouldn't be here otherwise. Me, the OP, everybody.
@DrCuddleBug you are not an anomaly - I too have found cuddle buddies here. You are a success story. For that, and for other reasons, you are also (like me) not a typical member of CC.
@StLJim
Hooray!
Finally, I would like to thank the OP for his measured response. I would like to see some more posts from him on this thread. I have made my point, and would like to move from 'arguing' to 'discussing', as @introvme put it.
@CuddleDuncan I want you to know that you have my support. I see you as looking out for the ladies and it is tends to ruffle some feathers. You are willing to call me out too. Sometimes I get upset with your words and have to take a break from the internet, but you always seem to be right or close to right. You just push people into a healthier mind frame and the pushing can be painful. You are a rip the bandaid off type of guy. That type of direct communication works well for me. I’ve been frustrated with you before but every time I return I know that you have thought a lot about these concepts and you are basically accurate. It hurts to be the subject of your correction but it is so valuable when your ideas are given a chance.
Thank you!
Honestly, I would like to see more male Professional. I haven't seen any in my area.
@Morgana_Le_Fae Yes!!! Wouldn’t it be great to be able to purchase time with a very handsome 30-year-old? I would probably spring for dinner and the theater and a fancy hotel and a fun night of cuddles and conversation with room service breakfast in the morning. I can imagine the warm comfy bath robes already. What a great experience that would be.
I guess I’ll have to wait until after Covid and until the end of the world when men actually decide to be cuddle buddies for compensation.
@CuddleDuncan ~ 👆 That up there is a great example of what makes me appreciate you. 🤗
@CuddleDuncan Fair enough
@Morgana_Le_Fae and @Importance
I've seen a few ladies here request male professionals. We have a had a few male cuddlers try to be professionals, but from all the posts I've seen of them, they said it didn't work out and no one purchased their services. I guess the demand isn't high enough. I wonder if the demand has increased since then.
I’ve only seen one male professional post in my area and he is no longer professional. He just wasn’t my type. Options would be nice.
I also think that it is difficult to make a living whether you are male or female working as a cuddle professional. It takes a lot of time and energy just to book one appointment. I think that men figure out that this isn’t a viable way to make a living while the women here may have boyfriends or husbands or other sources of income and cuddling is just supplemental. I don’t think that anyone is getting rich off of cuddling income.
If men where to stick with this as supplemental income I think that they could make money here and there. It’s just a lot of time and energy with not a lot of financial reward.
@Importance I'm not a pro, but I agree that it would be difficult to make a living off of cuddling. Based on how transient many professionals' existence on CC is, I'm thinking many of them aren't making enough money to justify remaining a pro. I'm guessing that most do it as supplemental income. The problem with that is if you look at it as supplemental income and have a full-time job, you probably don't have much leeway to work with enough people's schedules. I did some basic math - if you're able to book 10 hours of cuddling per week consistently @ $85 per hour, that's the equivalent of a $40k USD yearly salary. Based on this math, I think it is likely that there are some pros that make a living off cuddling. I'd guess it's only the top 10% but I have no data to back this up.
@Importance Having options for pros would be nice. There are probably very few to no male pros in any area that's not a big metropolitan area. I can see how it would be unfortunate if you feel you wouldn't click with the one pro in your area. Perhaps reach out to pros farther away? Some are okay with traveling, and may be traveling to your area in the future
And I know that I can't speak for all women, but some of the female professional posters on here felt motivated to become pros because of the high demand. This high demand doesn't exist on the male side of things, so is one less motivator for them to turn pro.
@sunnysideup . You have that right. Its all about supply and demand. There would not be any pros if the M to F ratio is more of a M50/F50 or even M75/F25 ratio . IMO there are just as many males as females who need cuddling / human interaction. Again this is just my guess .