Silenced

ImportanceImportance
edited January 2021 in General

I have been notified that this was possibly a technical error or possibly unknown.

I have also been told that Sid is an excellent moderator.

I’m not sure what else to say except that I experience a lot of pain here

I don’t know

Several issues here: 1) I have asked the other mods to look at why you cannot send out messages. Note that at least two of them are in the UK and 9+ hours ahead. Have patience, because it's looking like 01/06 before there is going to be a response. 2) I left your post unedited and as is - but know that declaring a broad generalization of a "misogynistic culture" does not make it so. You can disagree with my moderation, but don't think for one second that I don't value and respect women. 3) For the record, I evaluate but ultimately leave a lot of reported comments, statements, and opinions because I'm not in the business of censorship nor playing some kind of thought-police. Instead, give someone a mirror - they will always show themselves in time. 4) If something doesn't resonate for you in a thread or topic, move on.[-Sid]<-ins>

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Comments

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    I wish you all a great new year.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited January 2021

    I chose the very last option because I would feel like, “huh really??? I mean you didn’t even have to” 😅😂 & I could even picture myself after the cuddling session telling her, “you can really have your money back you don’t need to pay me lol” but no I wouldn’t feel offended , I would feel both flattered & a bit sad for her needing to feel she needs to to pay me”

    Also I don’t want to speak for the ladies, but ive seen multiple female enthusiasts on the thread express frustrations for being offered money or someone trying to book them, ive even read it in a few profiles ... it would be nice to hear it from the perspective/reaction in the reversed role lol

    Would you take that bullet for the purpose of information & research ? : P & if yes plz let us know what happened

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    P.s. if you ever edit a post you made where you had originally included a poll, you’ll need to click the poll box before hitting “save”

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    Personally, whenever someone offers to give me money for something, I feel like I've got an extra opportunity to get some money.

    If it's something I already wanted to do—bonus! If it's something I don't care about one way or the other, I might be more inclined to do it now. And if it's something I really don't want to do, hey. Not like I'm losing anything by saying no.

    Win-win-win.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    If it's a pro, I see no issue! Otherwise I definitely wouldn't offer money. It's against the TOS for enthusiasts to get money for cuddling, so he could get in trouble if he accepted that. I'd drop the money offer and just strike up a conversation with him instead, asking him to cuddle if he seems likeable :)

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    I appreciate everyone’s replies

  • dsmith42dsmith42

    I’ll take the money anyway. Might even charge extra

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @dsmith42 You are a true American. 😂

  • Mike403Mike403

    I'd be more willing to cuddle you for free than accept payment for it. I'm not hurting for money and to take payment of any kind from somebody who is cuddling with me would just water down the experience for me.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    That's an interesting definition for an American to make of a 'true American' .... somebody who exploits the vulnerable for excess financial gain.

  • [Deleted User]StLJim (deleted user)

    Yeah, no. I'll take a cold something to mow the lawn...

    but no, I'm not taking money to cuddle, nor to get things at the store if she's cooking something for us (and probably not even if she's cooking... just get whatever and be good to people - it comes back around in some way some day if you need to keep score).

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited January 2021

    Our resident cocksure Brit not considering that the poster might really need the money and someone can afford to give it for sevices rendered. The logic of the Brit would extend to therapists and psychiatrists by that reasoning—and to pros on this site. My advice-lighten up Francis, it was a joke, not a definition.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @CuddleDuncan: Unfortunately... based on my experience with Americans, I'm gonna have to say that definition's a pretty accurate one. Really encompasses the true American spirit. In fact, if the USA had a spirit animal it'd probably be a Ferengi.

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    Thank you

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited January 2021

    That is capitalism. What some are not taking into account is perhaps the person asking for more money is the one who is hurting. I have seen pros on this board raise their rates around the world. People are hurting right now and if the pros can get more good for them. But this is not uniquely American.

  • Mark2016Mark2016

    I'm not sure where the thought of "exploiting the vulnerable" comes from.

    There are a significant number of pro cuddlers on this site.

    The reality is, are we not all vulnerable in one way or another? So, under this thought aren't all pros exploiting someone's need?

    Earning money off from people that are vulnerable is a normal thing. Doctors, dentists, nurses, hospitals, therapists, massage professionals, nursing homes.... don't they all do that?

    How is this different?

    Or did I miss something?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited January 2021

    It started in a different form as a joke earlier in the thread ... don't worry about it.

    The essential point of this thread is this. Women enthusiasts are frequently offered money to cuddle. Some of the men who do not do this have not thought hard enough about how this might make the women feel. (The men who do do it have obviously not thought about it.)

    The question has thus been posed the opposite way round, to help us all think about this matter a little more deeply. At least, that's my take on it.

    Voting on the poll has been quite slow, and was very slow at the beginning. (I noticed the number of views.) I'm not quite sure what this means, but I suspect it means that this is a serious question which makes people think.

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    I’m so grateful you all commented

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think this is all overwrought. Many of the men are newbies and rush in because they have found an outlet where there was none before and they see $80 an hour and just extend it to all women. They are soon informed of the mistake or start to understand the logistics of the site. The men that continue with that over time are either dull or looking for something that is a no-no whether it be a pro or enthusiast. I have seen a post here and there in the time i have been here where guys have confessed that they initially thought all the women charged. This is a mistake that is easily corrected on a case by case basis but will certainly not go away as new people come to the site everyday. This is the one place that the site really could improve—split the pros off from the enthusiasts. When you hit the magnifying glass you should have to hit pro or enthusiast. The comingling of distinctions needs to end.

  • sethryan44sethryan44

    I think I see where you're coming from. I don't think there's anything wrong with being financially motivated, especially considering how the global pandemic has negatively impacted the economy and put countless small businesses across te nation in peril.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited January 2021

    There is no question that many of the men who offer money to women enthusiasts are newbies who are not paying attention. (That does immediately raise the question of why people are sending messages without looking at profiles properly, but we'll save that for another thread.)

    There is no question, further, that many of the repeat offenders have sinister motives.

    It is further the case that, in my view, increased distinction between professionals and enthusiasts would be beneficial and would help reduce this problem. There are a number of comments about this in the Green Paper thread, and in fact some thoughts of what we might do next are just coming together in my head as I write this.

    However ......

    None of the above is reason not to think about this question in great depth. It has a number of different strands. Why do these idiot newbies arrive at this website, dig eighty or a hundred dollars out of their pocket and just think that they can gain intimate access to any woman they choose? That itself is a serious problem.

    There is no question that this can indeed be solved on a case by case basis, since that is what is happening now. But there is also no question that that is a truly horrible way of dealing with the problem. The situation should not arise in the first place.

    Considering case by case to be an acceptable solution is yet another example of misogyny on CC: there is unpleasant work to be done, so make the women do it. It's yet another example of why there are so few women enthusiasts here. If it happens to one woman, once, does it really matter? No, not much. But it's not one woman, once, it's lots of women lots of times. And there are a hundred other little things equally unpleasant that happen lots of times. All these little things add up to .... the unbalanced and therefore partly dysfunctional cuddle community that we have.

    One of the many recurring problems on this forum is that any attempt at thoughtfulness about cuddling is attacked or belittled. We are amongst the leaders of the cuddling community, whether we like it or not. Those who do not wish to take part in leadership conversations are not obliged to. But it's strange to try and shut them down.

    Right, having said all that let us return to the thread topic.

    If you are a man, how would you feel if an enthusiast cuddler turned up an offered you money? How would you feel about being a professional?

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    Thank you for your input

  • sethryan44sethryan44
    edited January 2021

    That would cost you the price of dinner and a couple pints of IPAs. I prefer craft beer, so please take note. It would normally cost $500 for such an occasion, but for you'll I'll make it $420.

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    These are all excellent ideas

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    Thank you

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited January 2021

    “And I still just wanna cuddle an attractive 30-year-old man. I want to take him out to dinner. I want to take him to a Broadway show. I want us to relax in the hot tub and then cuddle all night in a fancy hotel. How much would that cost me? And can I get any bids?” - @Importance

    Ty soo much for this , us guys are not allowed to say we want to cuddle someone we find attractive on here , it’s not that I think this, ive already seen it, ive seen a nice lady say the same thing before you & she was applauded & uplifted & I seen a guy get dragged for it ...

    Its interesting , you’re like one of the very few females here going against the grain with your topics & responses (definitely not the only one but you really stand out) its like you look at things & feel them from the guys perspective without realizing it, again thanks.

  • ImportanceImportance
    edited January 2021

    I appreciate you all

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    *Noted!

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Importance - Anyone who doesn't think of females as humans (instead of an object to satisfy their desires) is a poor excuse of a human being.

  • MrPaulMrPaul

    In answer to the original question, I would not be offended whatsoever. In fact, I would consider it a compliment if I were offered the opportunity.

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