3 questions that will help you understand yourself or someone

cuddleexpert101cuddleexpert101
in General

I came across a relational psychologist who made a good discussion on 3 questions that will help you know yourself or someone.

The “description” that will explain your answers will be located at the bottom of this message so answer the questions honestly before reading the “description”.

This will be fun , and it made me laugh. The deeper intention you have for the question the better you’ll like your answers

1) What is your favorite color, and 3 deep reasons why? (Ex. Not like I like blue cause it makes me happy. Deeper intention like I like blue because it’s a peaceful color or because it reminds me of a deep ocean that is also powerful)

2) What is your favorite animal, and 3 deep reasons why? (Ex. The animal can be a unicorn or whatever creature you could think of. But say because the unicorn is so unique and seems like a happy animal that brings joy)

3) What is your favorite type of water form and 3 deep reasons why? (Ex. Snow, Ice, steam, lake, ocean, river, waterfall, but give a deep reason like because waterfalls are everflowing with power)

DON’T LOOK BELOW THIS LINE UNTIL AFTER YOU ANSWER THE 3 QUESTIONS ABOVE

The answers you gave is:
1) My view of my own personality

2) My view of my perfect mate

3) My view of my own sexuality

I enjoyed the teaching I received and I hope you did and pass it along as well 😎❤️💎

Comments

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    Oh boy, for 2 I answered "human" so that mapped pretty easily :joy:

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    [amused] Seems a bit of a stretch to go from "I'm photosensitive, so my favorite color to look at is the one that reflects the least light" to "I see my personality as reflecting very little light"—but hey! I'll take it.

    Given that I answered the favorite animal one with "depends on what I'm using them for: horse for moving across relatively flat terrain, donkey for traversing mountains, fish if I'm having a special meal, cow if I'm just trying to fill up, ox if I need a field plowed..." I'm gonna guess that makes my perfect mate (hahaha, I'm never getting married) somebody really, really useful to me.

    Not sure this is working, frankly.

    And as far as favorite forms of water and sexuality go, well, as somebody with no desire for sex and no sexual attraction to anybody, I somehow doubt "liquid, because I drink it a lot and need it to live" says anything about how I see my own sexuality.

    Heh. Yeah, I'm gonna go with "this is baloney"—but it was fun baloney, so thanks, @cuddleexpert101!

  • cuddleexpert101cuddleexpert101

    @DarrenWalker yea definite fun baloney haha, a perspective/theory ,not universal.

    My perspective , if you are photosensitive then you can be empathetic or an empath to others peoples feelings/emotions bad or good so you more receivable then most people as opposed to guarded.

    My perspective on the animal. You don’t need to say you are never getting married. You’ll meet someone that likes to serve and is selfless because that is their nature. That is some people’s TOP love language is “acts of service”. Some like to learn how to try and be every supportive possible thing they can to their partner. Just don’t overwork them cause they like to be appreciated.

    My perspective for the liquid , would be that you aren’t balanced. Not too high intense with being steaming vapor and not too cold where you like it frozen absolutely nothing at rigid. It is liquid to where you are able even if not willing form to whatever environment you are placed in whether to feel touch or not even care to feel touch at all

  • cuddleexpert101cuddleexpert101

    @DarrenWalker thanks for playing the game

  • soulloversoullover

    I herd this before. It's a good over breaker. but we can't know the heart but his own owner of it.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @cuddleexpert101: ...Sure. My favorite thing ever is being told that my sexual orientation and preference is dependent on whatever environment I'm placed in, and that I shouldn't say I'm never getting married because hey, I'll meet somebody.

    That's even better than being told my sun allergy makes me an empath. Thanks tons.

  • cuddleexpert101cuddleexpert101

    @DarrenWalkery my apologies. My thoughts and perspectives are just that, mine.

    I hope you we all try to make some sense of this life and seek to understand the other

    I thank you for answers and comments

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited January 2021

    @cuddleexpert101: Apologies accepted.

    I do appreciate the fact that, even though you assumed I'd be meeting someone I'd want to marry, you didn't assume they'd be a woman.

    I have actually met someone who likes to serve. Thing is, this circumstance hasn't changed my sexuality—I'm still not gay (or straight, come to that), and we won't be getting married. Frankly, even if sex were my thing, marriage wouldn't be....

    Anyway, the original game's fun, as ice-breaking nonsense goes. Thanks for sharing it.

    It was diverting.

  • BotWithFeelingsBotWithFeelings
    edited January 2021

    @DarrenWalker your environment determines everything from your personality to gene expression so I'd say yeah, your environment affects that. You are also really reaching to extrapolate marriage from that though (which doesn't even need to be sexual btw).

    That being said, I believe that psychologist gave a perspective that takes a particular and abstract mindset to gain insight from. More logically focused people would find value in other perspectives perhaps more concrete. The question works (to a degree) because you are essentially making up reasons to justify something that just is. The reasons that you make up reveal to you your own thought process. If you take it seriously, then you are force to look at yourself from a novel perspective rather regurgitate what you "know" the answer to be. I suspect you could take someone else's answers, justify why they answered that way and still reveal new knowledge of your own mind.

    edit: reread marriage was mentioned so I apologize.

  • cuddleexpert101cuddleexpert101

    @DarrenWalker you put a smile on face when you gave the spoiler that you met someone who likes to serve.

    Thanks

    I’m doing better with my social/culture programming in saying generalizing things like “Hey Guys” to room full of people

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @BotWithFeelings: If you were paying attention, you might note that I said "I'm never getting married," and received the response, "you don't need to say that, you'll meet somebody." Eheheh. I'm not the marrying type. It doesn't matter who I meet. I repeat: I'm never getting married. I'll say that as often as I like, because it's true. Sex has nothing to do with it—marriage, with or without sex, doesn't suit me.

    This game is fun, but it assumes everyone has a perfect mate: which I don't. I'm not getting mated. Not now. Not ever. Thanks. I'm staying free and unmated. Any game that assumes otherwise may be fun, but it's definitely baloney.

    As far as the sexuality stuff goes, remember that I said I'm asexual, so anything I think about water doesn't really work as a metaphor for my own sexuality.

    To which I received the response that my preference for liquid water (on account of I drink it a lot and need it to live) meant that my sexuality was fluid: "liquid to where you are able even if not willing form to whatever environment you are placed in whether to feel touch or not even care to feel touch at all."

    That's frankly garbage. I'm ace. Not straight. Not gay. Not bi. Not pan. Asexual. I don't experience sexual attraction. Period.

    My sexuality is not liquid to where I'm able—even if not willing!—to form to whatever environment I'm placed in. My sexuality is pretty dang solid, thanks. Has been for as long as I can remember. I'm not interested.

    This is what I objected to, and what @cuddleexpert101 apologized for.

    Not... all of whatever that was. [waves hand upward at your post in a vaguely baffled fashion]

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @cuddleexpert101: Yeah, you did good with the avoidance of generalization there. Well done! And, uh... you're welcome for the smile. Dude puts a bit of a smile on my face, too.

  • BotWithFeelingsBotWithFeelings

    @DarrenWalker literally on the first sentence is directed towards you. The rest towards @cuddleexpert101 and the general discussion. Granted I only tagged you so I guess so of that is on me. Also, I apologized for the marriage part already. I don't recant anything else but seeing as this seems to be a core part of your identity I won't argue further.

    As for the other vaguely baffling stuff, I was simply saying that the questions are closer to inkblots, only what the askee believes that they mean matters. I.e, cuddleexpert101's answer is speaks more to his worldview than yours. You'd have to seriously answer the question for it to work.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @BotWithFeelings: Oh, I see. Formatting! If you put a row of underscores (these things: _ ) between paragraphs, each row will turn into a full separating line once the post is made. Like this:

    See?

    Now this is a separate bit, where I can either address the general public as I'm doing now (no tags), or tag somebody else and talk to them, instead.

    Returning to @BotWithFeelings: I still don't agree that my sexuality changes dependent on each new situation I find myself in just because environment played a role in its formation in the first place. I mean... it just doesn't. I've observed this—no matter what situation I'm in, my sexuality doesn't change. Does yours?

    And whether it's games like this, ink blots, or tarot cards, anything that insists a person must have something like, say, a perfect mate... well, it tends not to work well for me. No matter how seriously I take it.

  • BotWithFeelingsBotWithFeelings

    @DarrenWalker I don't believe in a perfect mate. I'd argue that if you can become close friends with a person (and for me at least, are attracted to them), then they can be a suitable, perhaps even almost perfect mate.

    I still don't agree that my sexuality changes dependent on each new situation I find myself in just because environment played a role in its formation in the first place.

    I wasn't actually arguing you have a continuosly changing sexuality. Just that your environment influenced it. I am now, though.

    I've observed this—no matter what situation I'm in, my sexuality doesn't change. Does yours?

    Over a long period of time in extreme circumstances I honestly think it would for both me and you. I can't imagine it but i think the possibly traumatic circumstances exist. But again, I can't argue about something core to the identity of someone whose world is black and white.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited January 2021

    @BotWithFeelings: Well, a perfect anything strikes me as very unlikely to exist. But this game definitely assumes that everyone has a view of their perfect mate—an idea about what their perfect mate would be. And for me that's "non-existent, leave me alone, thanks," which doesn't match well with my ideas about favorite animals!

    I wasn't actually arguing [that] you have a continuously changing sexuality.

    Oh, I must have misunderstood you. See, cuddleexpert101 said, "It [your sexuality] is liquid to where you are able even if not willing form to whatever environment you are placed in whether to feel touch or not even care to feel touch at all."

    And then I objected: "My favorite thing ever is being told that my sexual orientation and preference is dependent on whatever environment I'm placed in."

    To which you said "Your environment determines everything from your personality to gene expression so I'd say yeah, your environment affects that"—and dear me, it really looked like you were arguing that my sexuality is fluid to the point where it basically changes completely, from one extreme to another, depending on what environment I'm placed in.

    Edit: It's just occurred to me, incidentally—if sexuality can be changed, why do gay conversion camps seem to be so bad at it? Haven't found the right traumas yet?

  • BotWithFeelingsBotWithFeelings

    I can't argue about something core to the identity of someone whose world is black and white.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)
    edited January 2021

    @DarrenWalker

    Edit: It's just occurred to me, incidentally—if sexuality can be changed, why do gay conversion camps seem to be so bad at it? Haven't found the right traumas yet?

    OOOOOHHHH SNAP!!

    @BotWithFeelings , I'm surprised that you're open to the idea that sexuality can be fluid, but not also open to the idea that it can be fluid in varying degrees (ie. on a scale of "never seems to change" to "changes constantly over time"). I've known a lot of people who felt like their sexuality never changed over time, including people with varying degrees of trauma. Why dismiss somebody's experiences just because they don't fit into your current theory? You could also listen to him, and adjust your theory to be more realistic.

    I can't argue about something core to the identity of someone whose world is black and white.

    I don't see how anything core to the identity of another person is ever up for debate.

  • BotWithFeelingsBotWithFeelings
    edited January 2021

    @squeakytoy I don't think there is any part of the human mind that can't be changed. So it isn't sexuality specifically that I claim is fluid. My argument is given the right circumstances any human can do any behavior physically available to them. Every human is capable of great kindness and every human is capable of terrible atrocities. A person who hates mushrooms will eventually get taste for them if it's the only food available for a long enough time. A pacifist will start a war if atrocities of "peace" are bad enough. The solid as a rock human is a myth, and even rocks and be dissolved in the right chemicals.

    Edit: It's just occurred to me, incidentally—if sexuality can be changed, why do gay conversion camps seem to be so bad at it? Haven't found the right traumas yet?- @DarrenWalker

    I don't think you should torture people. And I don't want to make an argument that could be misconstrued as justifying torture.

    I don't see how anything core to the identity of another person is ever up for debate. @squeakytoy

    I mean I explicitly said I wasn't going to (without qualifier the first time). Not that i think identity is sacred; I just know you can only make an argument if both parties are receptive to listening. I am also not in anyone's head but mine, so I am at a disadvantage anyway, especially since I haven't seen how darrenwalker behaves in real life.

    I really, really don't want to be in this argument. I just wanted to give some support for this question. Honestly, I think @DarrenWalker was being needlessly dismissive about something that the original poster found exciting.

    Of note, @DarrenWalker, ironically we actually agree on a lot of things. We just differ on the conclusions to be drawn from those things, (quite strongly at times). Perhaps we could accept that we aren't ever going to reach the same conclusion and stop side railing threads?

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)
    edited January 2021

    I really, really don't want to be in this argument. I just wanted to give some support for this question. Honestly, I think @DarrenWalker was being needlessly dismissive about something that the original poster found exciting.

    Okay! That's reasonable. I really liked the original post, for what it's worth, but I do understand why some people might not find it relatable/useful.

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