This is a true story: I was in Las Vegas in the 90's. The hotel/casino I was at was the old IP. Now the Linq. Anyways there was a convention there called Wildlife Expo where professionals got training in managing wildlife animals in urban settings. I am at a blackjack table and one of the conventioneers sits down beside me and lays his study material on the table. No joke, his folder was titled "Trapping Beaver In Public Places".. I said Dude that's Hilarious! He didn't appreciate my humor. Oh well....
@Importance ~ Omg! Same!!!
@OhioMike ~ That is the kind of thing that would cause a spit-take from me! I'm so immature!! 🤪
@quixotic_life I got Ya. Your statement ' weak, like a woman ' Now that will offend some women . That is a No No statement. I grew up in the 70's and 80's So much has changed. When All in the family was a real funny show. When your friends walked down the street you and fell, They would say " Walk much Dumb Ass ? " BUT I am NOT offended Honestly . The average man has changed. Most men today cannot change a tire. I was at a grocery store last week,. There was an elderly man struggling with his heavy bags. four or five young men just walked by him. I saw him and helped. By the way . I saw the Pu$$y saying on a Clint Eastwood poster . @Importance double entente funny ? I think in most cases is not funny . Its like me saying, I got some GREAT Beaver shots this morning. Or I took my bitch for a walk.
A Leslie Neilson classic ....
@hawker69 "@quixotic_life I got Ya."
Uh... no. No you don't.
"Your statement ' weak, like a woman ' Now that will offend some women . That is a No No statement."
I'm unsure if you think you're funny and have taken what I wrote out of context to mock it, or if you really missed what I was getting at. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and go with the latter. What I wrote was...
I agree, you didn't call anyone that, but it was still used as a way of saying, 'It would be demeaning as a 'man' to be thought of as one who is 'weak, like a woman'.
Perhaps you missed the phrase: ".... as a way of saying, ...." which is commonly used to indicate what follows is, something one may as well have said, in place of what they actually did say, as they mean the same thing.
Example: "Man, you're a pussy!" = "Man, you're weak like a woman!"
Calling a man a "pussy" is perpetuating the stereotypical mindset that women are inferior (or "weak" in comparison to men) and it is therefore an insult to both genders. [see my previous comment - the one with the circles graphic - for further commentary related to this issue.]
"I grew up in the 70's and 80's So much has changed. When All in the family was a real funny show."
Umm... That show was groundbreaking! Based mainly around, "Class Politics" the show was about the generation gap between a reactionary, blue collar, patriarch and his liberal offspring. It wasn't showcasing Archie Bunker as one to be admired or celebrated. It was used as a means of exposing and breaking down prejudices, bigotry, misogyny, etc. To hold his relatable circumstances and toxic views up to a societal mirror for disapproval in a comedic way.
Though there were those who admired him, they also didn't find the show very funny. Is it that you don't like people laughing at points of view you hold as truths, that makes it not funny to you too?
"When your friends walked down the street you and fell, They would say " Walk much Dumb Ass ?" BUT I am NOT offended"
Wth does this mean? Really? What does this have to do with anything? I honestly don't get how this helps elaborate any point or what compelled you to put it here.
"Honestly . The average man has changed. Most men today cannot change a tire."
Is this just a random factoid you've thrown in to show men have the capacity to, and have "changed" (so it must be possible), but that it's also ironic because in that "change" they've lost how to "change" a tire? Or is it something else? Either way, it doesn't speak to the changes needed in both perspective and/or conversational language use. So I "honestly" don't get your point in including this here either.
"I was at a grocery store last week,. There was an elderly man struggling with his heavy bags. four or five young men just walked by him. I saw him and helped."
So you did a nice thing and...? Is this being shared to absolve yourself of guilt related to using terms for female genitalia as a way of serving up a demeaning insult of/to a man?
"By the way . I saw the Pu$$y saying on a Clint Eastwood poster."
Oh, then by all means, keep using it... I'm sure there's nothing problematic there.
"@-Importance double entente funny ? I think in most cases is not funny." "Its like me saying, I got some GREAT Beaver shots this morning. Or I took my bitch for a walk."
Huh...? Is it though? I typically find double entendres pretty funny (especially when unintended like the infamous, "Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver last night." or just about anything preceeding Michael Scott, from The Office saying, "That's what she said.") but neither of those land as such, so yeah ~ they aren't funny. So, again, what's your point? Did you even have one?
~TL;DR~
SMH! I find your entire post to be confusing!
So... fyi... I'm offended by you stringing together a mess of confusing comments, that seem to highlight a larger issue than just perpetuating the inferior status women have in society, in a thread that's supposed to be about being offended... so I guess... way to go...? 🤔
Things that I already knew and were reminded of in this thread:
Not wearing a mask will get you kicked out of some places
Don’t call people female genitalia
The word beaver can still be funny accidentally
“That’s what she said” still makes me giggle
@quixotic_life VERY nice job on the ATTACK . Do you like to attack peoples opinions ? Do you lead a shallow life ? FOR THE RECORD. Weak person = Pussy = Flake = Whimp . How does anyone get the first one as Woman genitals ?? NOTE : NOT weak like a woman but a Weak Person.
Have your daily kicks and ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK
@hawker69 ~ I wasn't attacking you. I found some of what you said problematic and said as much. Later you made no sense to me and I pointed out why. I was criticizing your comments, phraseology and interpreted stance. If you feel insecure about yourself, your position or your ideology, to the point you think I was actually, "attacking" you, that's on you. But it's an opportunity for growth either which way.
This is my fourth, and likely final, comment to you on the subject. Admittedly, I don't deal with adult insolence well ~ Something I need to work on? Perhaps. But I warned you... If I felt you weren't making an effort to change I'd likely lose respect for you. Which means my "gentle nature" (which is only for those who don't throw it back in my face or double down on their points of view, choice of words, or behaviors that are harmful to the community and/or society as a whole), will not be extended to you.
Sorry-not-sorry for voicing my concern. I don't feel called to sit on the sidelines while unchecked "microaggressions" and "toxic masculinity" pass by. Feel free to twist all this into an "attack", but it's truth you can Google, to try and educate yourself ~ Because you clearly need a better instructor than I, and your reaction more than indicates you should go find one.
Seriously - Continue to post your ignominious thoughts on here if you want to, but... It's "weak like a WOMAN" because they're [typically] the ones with PUSSIES!!! 😤
TL;DR Ultimately, I'm not responsible for the effect my statements had on you here. You are. But I do hope they've made enough of an impact that you'll do some weeding round your mental garden. That you'll plant some knowledge and will tend to an intentional growing-up of a more aware and empathetic version of yourself. 🕊💓🌱
@Sideon &/or @SoulcuddlerZ
Do either of you know why this particular thread isn't getting bumped to the top when posted in?
Whatever the reason may be, I'd like to officially ask for reconsideration.
The conversation has morphed, and though I realize there are things here that one might be "offended" by, or feel uncomfortable with, I also know it's in challenging ourselves to examine these reactions, and to participate in messy conversations, that there's something of great importance to be gained for all involved.
Allowing this to thread to stay as relevant as the community determines (bumped up when commented on) shows a commitment to fostering a culture of acceptance, inclusion and growth.
Yes, some may get banned for spewing their intolerance, bigotry or other forms of hate, but that happens in other threads too.
If you're hesitant, I'd like to suggest a '⚠️' be added to the title, that whatever prompted the censure be collapsed under a 'spoiler' with another '⚠️' preceeding it, and/or a 'Mod' warning message be placed at the top of the page.
Thank you for your consideration, and for your dedication to moderation and to the positive growth of this community!!! QL ~ 💝
@quixotic_life - duly noted. I will push it back up for now. I say this with great care: I'm very happy to close this thread for one more break-the-forum rules or deliberate belligerence or chaos. [-Sid]
Bump.
Thank you for bumping. I couldn’t find it anymore
What does have to do with cuddling??
@dsmith42 None. Too much lecturing from one and a willful refusal by the other to admit they know the reason for the lecture. Otherwise known as “DB Coopering a thread.”
First I'm seeing this thread, thanks.
@quixotic_life Your patience is phenomenal.
I have noticed a number of threads not bumping to the top correctly. I wasn't sure if it was just something to do with me. It may be a site issue.
@dsmith42 as it turns out, absolutely everything. But it would take too long to explain right now.
@hawker69 I missed your original remark. However, it seems to me that you have not understood @quixotic_life's comments. You have also breached a basic rule of civilised conversation, which is that you do not offend deliberately without a very good reason, and if you offend accidentally you apologise and withdraw. Whether you think you are right or wrong doesn't matter.
As for your lexicographal question, well, it's the same word. I don't mean it appears to be the same word, it is the same word. https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/155161?rskey=uvRBTG&result=1&isAdvanced=false#eid
And while it conveys different meanings according to context - as many words do - the context on this website is of women suffering extensive harassment from unpleasant men. There is really no need for you to add to it.
As for the tire thing, well, I don't know how to change a tire. And if I did, I would be mildly embarassed about it. If you are not a mechanic, what a pointless skill. I can't reupholster a cushion either.
Oh, and @quixotic_life is about the kindest, sweetest, gentlest person you could ever hope to meet online. She can fillet a post with the best of them, but she could no sooner attack somebody than fly to the Moon.
Oh lord. MFW I enter this thread and see the exchange:
Agreed.
Yay! Thank you ~ @Sideon
@dsmith42 ~ It has to do with cuddling in that people want to feel safe during a cuddle. I believe for many people, their entry point into the cuddling community starts here in the forums. And I feel a need to do what I can, so they find a safe and a welcoming space when they get here. Which means, if I see something, I'm going to say something. 🤷♀️
@FunCartel ~ Yeah... I'm a bit wordy in trying to make a point. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes it takes a few to recognize the, "willful refusal by the other to admit they know the reason for the lecture" feedback. 😉
She can fillet a post with the best of them, but she could no sooner attack somebody than fly to the Moon.
Oh boy... @CuddleDuncan ... uh, yeah... so, I've actually felt it necessary to walk back and apologize on a few occasions for remarks I've made on here that were ... well ... um ... knee-jerkish/fly off the handle attackish in nature.
But thank you for the kind words (and maybe don't tarnish your opinion of me by using the search box to unearth my dark-side)! 😉
[skip-hop-walks away innocently whistling...] 😙~🎶 "Fly Me To The Moon"
This thread was meant to touch upon the ideas that anything could offend anyone, and that being offended doesn't actually mean anything.
Then it devolved into genuine nonsense. Glorious. Simply glorious.
This is not an uncommon occurance. I knew several people and a close Christian friend that felt the same way. He would refuse to wear a mask when entering a church once and said he would not do so in the face of God. Like inside me there is a war, as to if I choose my actions because a decision is chosen for me or if it is done out of true emotion. The same toxicity is in churches these days. I often found the most wisdom from people that have a awesome life experiances, have gone places, ecperianved serious repercussions from regretful decisions, and ect... It adds a greater depth to a person's character I think when their are mindful and aware. You sir are a rightious soul; UltimateChungus. I also grew up Christian, trying to go through a phase of empathy and discovering how to have a calm mind and putting it into practice. I learned to have peace while coping with the feeling of being isolated or alone in this society while having very little friends or acquaintances. I don't believe they truly knew in their hearts the fullest intent of their beliefs of political views nor see for themselves who they actually are in other people's eyes. Maybe their ideas were determined by an interest group, peers, or family. But likewise, I suppose having letting go and digging deep in one's self is equally as important than acting out of righteous anger or wrath. Stay, safe god bless
@Windytree2021
That was a kind message. But my initial post was satirical. I made all of it up to illustrate the point that people will get offended and freak out over anything, no matter how absurd. Furthermore, some people seem to actively choose to be offended at all times. And, lastly, being offended doesn't mean anything. It's not an argument. It's whining.
Also: I'm an atheist, and I don't believe in souls.
Again, your message was a kind one. Thank you.
@CuddleDuncan YES . You missed your original remark. I did not breached a basic rule of civilized conversation. I did not offend anyone in my original comment. @CuddleDuncan Please NO disrespect. You should not make any assumptions without all the fact's in this case the original comment.
@UltimateChungus ~ "This thread was meant to touch upon the ideas that anything could offend anyone, and that being offended doesn't actually mean anything."
Good job!
"Then it devolved into genuine nonsense. Glorious. Simply glorious."
I'm offended by your statement, "Then it devolved *into genuine nonsense." Poppycock! This thread started as genuine nonsense and has remained as much!
And I'm especially offended by your comparring my raising awareness, of something one might be offended by, to "genuine nonsense".
To quote the never at a lost for words, @DarrenWalker, "Pffft"
side note ~ I initially commented as I did, not because I found the word offensive, but because so many others do.
Unfortunately, intentionally or not, he replied by calling me over, and not only denied something he wasn't said to have done, but offered a replacement that made zero sense.
In hindsight, I probably should have let it go then. But the teacher in me said, "Oh, he misunderstood, better clarify..." 🙄
Rinse, Repeat.
Tbh ~ I really don't care how someone uses female genitalia as long as they have consent.
But I get the issue others have and feel they have some really good points, so... lecture feedback time. Had he not replied in the manner he did, I probably wouldn't have, "DB Coopered" your thread in such an offending manner (though I don't get the correlation).
I really liked the way this thread started out, to be fair. BUT I'm not of the view that offense is always bad and/or unreasonable. As examples:
When someone is offended because they expected special treatment and didn't get it, that shit's funny.
When someone is offended because they expected to be treated with basic human respect, and even didn't get that... well, that's just sad.
@squeakytoy ~ I fully agree with you on both counts!
Also, I don't understand how those who know something they do/say offends others will continue to do/say those things. Intentionally offensive people offending others offends me.
Heh-heh... I resemble this remark...
...sometimes
I just want to say the bad word so badly..... head is exploding. huge exhale
@quixotic_life .... you know im from Oregon and Im also a Big Beaver fan too 😁 Beavers are better than ducks in my book any day. I hope you are a Beaver fan...?
I don't wear masks. I have experienced so much abuse and hate. BTW I support BLM and other liberal causes. I have a history of severe trauma including rape and suffocation where I was nearly killed as a man covered my mouth and nose to suffocate me while he bashed my head against the wall. Wearing a mask sends me into a massive panic attack and I have almost fainted trying to wear one. I have been called names, laughed at kicked out of places and physically threatened for not wearing a mask. It is truly evil and you should be ashamed for posting this. Do you know that the government of Sweden which is one of the most liberal countries in the world being a social democracy has asked it's citizens not to wear masks because there is no evidence as to it's effectiveness nor it's safety and it is leading to mental health problems and widespread fear.
@wildirisrainbow
"I have been called names, laughed at kicked out of places and physically threatened for not wearing a mask."
Man, that's rough. Almost as rough as potentially killing someone who has a compromised immune system.
"It is truly evil and you should be ashamed for posting this."
I am not.
"Do you know that the government of Sweden which is one of the most liberal countries in the world being a social democracy has asked it's citizens not to wear masks because there is no evidence as to it's effectiveness nor it's safety and it is leading to mental health problems and widespread fear."
www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-europe-55371102
That didn't really work out too well for them.
Edit: face shields are a thing that exist. Whether or not they're as useful as facemasks is unknown to me, and I don't care to do the research. Furthermore: not going places if you're unable to conform to public safety regulations/reality is also a thing. Delivery services are grand.