@Mike403 .
@Allerdale - I visit profiles of forum users often. I don't even know where they're from until I click on their user name and it pulls up their profile.
@Allerdale I have to agree with @Mike403. I've been known to click on a profile in a forum just so I have a better idea of who I'm talking to. Maybe even a potential cuddle partner if they're close enough. I can tell you that I haven't had a visitor on my profile for over a month until today. I've had 15 sp far and counting. I don't consider that a bad thing but, maybe that's because I'm male? I know that women have more things to concern themselves with.
This is soo unfortunate that it happens & unfortunately it will continue to happen but hopefully this is in the minority of the population here not the majority .... this place provides a platform so it is up to the members to take safety into their own hands... don’t be afraid to ask a potential cuddle buddy to face time / send pics & un-expired drivers license or I.d.
@Allerdale
Out of state visitors to your profile is perfectly normal. A huge portion of my clients are people who have traveled through the area while on business. All have been wonderful and very respectful platonic cuddlers. It's not a red flag nor should it upset you.
The site is not advertising to seedy demographics. Those who are using the site as a sugar baby or escort service are doing so because have gotten away with it, think they will, or don't care to understand the intention of the site. With sites like BP and CL no longer in existence they will use whatever means they can to hire/solicit sexual services and unfortunately that includes a platonic service like CC.
There will always be a snake in the grass regardless of how well the yard is maintained.
This is the danger of being intimate with “strangers”. I think personally it’s something that must be considered. It’s a reason i have often not cuddled ( I’m not an experienced cuddler on here) and can admit that if a lady were to tempt me to cross the line i might not refuse. But i also realize that’s not what I’m here for. But the fact is what we are here for ( in my mind) isn’t far from that sexual realm.
Not defending unrequited contact, but it feels so close to a space that would tempt it.
@BashfulLoner
But the fact is what we are here for ( in my mind) isn’t far from that sexual realm.
Sex could not be further from my mind when I thinking about cuddles. It is true that cuddles and sex share certain attributes. In a healthy romatic relationship you might cuddle the person you have sex with. But you also eat with the person you have sex with, and you don't think about having sex with somebody just because you are eating with them. Consider having lunch with your parents.
Cuddling is something that we do with children and animals and dying relatives. I do not associate these with sex and I hope you don't either.
Anybody who can't help but think about sex during a platonic cuddle probably needs to find another activity to do besides cuddling.
Squeaky is so spot on. I was 20 years old when I was raped and when my roommate called the police about it, they just 51-50 me and didn’t even ask me who had raped me or if I even wanted to make a report. I felt like I was being punished for being raped. The whole experience really messed me up. Now I have zero trust in police and most people . It isn’t fair that people aren’t protected from predators and rapists. They are often punished for speaking up
@BbwCuddleBuddy7 - Omg. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is so messed up. It just makes men more willing to cross boundaries if they don't suffer any consequences and his victims are afraid to speak up about it.
i am so very , very sorry to hear about that , unfortunately i've heard about stuff like that happening on here and on other sites , that's what i was worried about and im sure all the women here too , like we're cuddling strangers of course you try and get to know them a little bit , which doesn't do much but at least its something . ive had similar issues where guys kept kissing my shoulder or back and i kept asking them to stop and they wouldn't an they just kept saying it was natural , and im like its defiantly not and it makes me uncomfortable or i had a situation where a guy kept trying to suck on the back of my ear , again kept telling him to stop and he wouldnt , unfortunately even tho we put ourselves in these situations it would be nice to have some kind of way to know we'll be safe , because thats just some of the stuff ive experienced , it definitely makes you sit back and be like should i stop cuddling ? ive thought about maze but if it gets me instead that wouldnt be good ither . i always text my family and let them know who im cuddiling , where im at , how long its supposed to last , and even if a guy wants longer i always text and let them know .
@BbwCuddleBuddy7, that's horrific and I'm so sorry it happened to you. You're incredibly brave to share this story.
@HoneyB94 It's so tough, because what can you do when that starts happening? If they're already in your home, what happens if you tell them to leave? Will they? If you're at their place, will they allow you to get up and leave? I don't blame you for questioning whether to quit sometimes. There are definitely good, trustworthy guys on here, but my god, it's an art form to figure out who they are from very limited information.
Oh, that reminds me. In case anyone didn't know, if you're trying to decide whether to cuddle with someone and you feel like it would be helpful to see how they've interacted with other people on here (beyond what's on their profile), you can scan through their comments in the forums with this and see if anything throws up a red flag for you:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/profile/comments/USERNAME
(replace USERNAME with their username)
@BbwCuddleBuddy7 Ouch, oof, I have no words, there's probably nothing I can say that would make you feel any better. I just truly wish it weren't like this.
Back to topic thread, isn't it a law or something that sex offenders need to be publicly registered? So maybe google the person's full name before meeting up.
@HoneyB94 Again, it hurts so much to read this. What you are doing with your last sentence is a good idea.
@sunnysideup - Only if they are caught and convicted. It might not be a bad idea to check though. If only groping occurred, that may be hard to prove. Even if a rape occurred, the guy could lie and say it was consensual. Some actual rapists may never make the list while somebody else becomes a registered sex offender because he was caught peeing in public.
@Mike403 True. In reality for the reasons you listed this probably only filters out maybe 5% of the real offenders. One little step to possibly save someone from trouble, though.
@CuddleDuncan
Cuddling is something that we do with children and animals and dying relatives
Do you cuddle relatives only if they're dying?
Hey, @tired is back trolling again. Welcome back buddy we missed you.
@tired, did he say it's something that we do, or that we only do?
@squeakytoy Is that relevant to my question? I was just curious.
@tired, yes.
@squeakytoy Then I'd be interested to hear how you infer the answer to my question from what @CuddleDuncan wrote.
We're getting tired of @tired. I'm tired.
No, I'm @tired!
We are all @tired.
@tired If I was correct in giving you the benefit of the doubt, assuming you misunderstood his statement and were asking for clarification, then yes, it's relevant.
If I was not correct in giving you the benefit of the doubt, and you randomly decided to ask someone whether they only cuddle dying relatives, then it wouldn't be relevant. If that was the case, I would flag your question and encourage others to do the same. Is that what you were going for?
@tired, @squeaktoy is merely pointing out that you hadn't read my post properly. Which you hadn't.
There is a question of respect here. If you're going to reply to my posts - which you are obviously welcome to do - please at least show me the respect of reading them.
And no, your remark was not a joke. It might have been a joke from somebody else, but it's not from you.
You have also failed to notice that the thread had moved on since my comment. Somebody reported a horrific event, which was what the thread was discussing. Your having a go at me at that stage in the conversation was .... jarring.
And then you tried to start an argument. The thread is discussing traumatic and serious matters and you try to start a playground argument.
@CuddleDuncan If I misread, please show me, with quoted text if possible, where you make explicit in your original post that you cuddle relatives who are in a non-terminal condition.
@tired , no answer for me?