(In my mom’s voice)
Question everything...except what i tell you
Think critically and the amount of stupidity you will unearth will blind you.
Make sure you have good vision insurance.
Wear clean underwear in case you are in a car accident. Preferably not a thong.
Trust no one from the city.
Trust no one from the country.
Moisturize.
There are two kinds of people—idiots and those aspiring to be one.
Never breastfeed, your boobs will sag. (This one was later found not to apply to me once i hit puberty and sex ed was introduced. Just my mom voicing regrets).
Your father might never come home. (Told to me by mom as dad left for his third tour in Vietnam)
I don’t care if you become a garbage man, just be what makes you happy. But you won’t be happy living here after age 18.
Don’t you start fights, but you be sure to finish them...I don’t have the money to keep buying band aids every week.
Stay hydrated.
Don’t drink too much tap water, the county sent a report saying the water is clean and has an acceptable fecal count. I have a low tolerance for bull feces.
Learn to type. Handwriting with arthritis is not for the weak.
Preface for the last one—i ran away for four weeks to the Outer Banks and lied my way onto a fishing boat crew—which really sucked and decided home wasn’t so bad. When i returned my mom’s response was: “You’re back. Go clean your room.” She never even called the cops!
"Don't have kids." — Both of my various parents at various points in their life.
It amused me to see them admit that having children was a terrible idea that ruined their lives; it conflicted with an image of themselves that they often struggled to present. An image of the "ideal family" that had a foundation in their shared naive worldviews, and that grew to encompass many more delusions that, over time, completely fell apart.
I learned at a young age that people are unremarkable in many, many ways, and that when you choose to interact with others it's best to set the bar very low.
"Clean as you go."
This is a piece of parental advice that's followed me my whole life, and I've never regretted it. Cleaning things up and putting them back away as soon as you're done with them saves a lot of time in the long run.
Learn to compartmentalize
Practice breathing
Be kind
Have an opinion
Stay calm so that you can hear other peoples voices and empathize with them
My mom always told me that I was beautiful. I know that that’s not advice but it’s something that we all need to hear.
Vote
Stand up against injustice
Get an education
Never stop learning
You don’t have to eat all the food on your plate
You do have to go to school
@BuggleBear
YMMV = your mileage may vary = This was my experience, and I don't think it was unusual, but your experience might be different.
Comes from cars. In the past supposedly identical cars might do slightly different miles per gallon. Different drivers will always get slightly different mileage since people have different driving styles.
@BuggleBear , YMMV = "your mileage may vary", because I don't endorse the advice I wrote at all, lol
EDIT: Whoops, you beat me to it, @CuddleDuncan ! Didn't see your post.
Learn to change a tire, learn to change the oil in your vehicle. Pay yourself first/start savings. Care of Mom: "if what people say and what they do don't match, they're lying to themselves and you." Bosses, managers, "leaders": everyone is winging it, but some of them do it with more confidence. If you're baking, use the best flour you can buy. It's okay to have breakfast for dinner. We can't choose our genes, but we can choose our families.