@Importance - I'm a bit socially awkward due to my autism/Asperger Syndrome so it's a bit impossible for me to act "normal", but would always treat people with respect and would never stand somebody up or cancel last minute
@Invisible_Touch What? You mean stand up, walk away from the computer, and go outside? That's crazy, man.
"The best choice is for men to socialize with people outside of the internet. In the real world. This website is mostly only good for a temporary reprieve for us men."
I had been trying to figure this out as a middle aged guy, and we're in the age of OMG: Covid!! But I gave up, and have moved on for now.
I did decide to forever say no to dating websites, and social media. Work people have always in my life been out of the question.
I think women in general need to bear some of the social aggressiveness needed to break the ice. Mentioned here in this thread is to smile at your possible cuddler... exactly. Ladies, smile at men, and hold their gaze. Goes for men, too. It doesn't have to mean anything beyond saying hi,. But... after he's recovered from the shock he might come chasing after you as you're racing off out the coffee shop. This is when knowing how to flirt is essential. There's nowhere really to go with that smile except to say something that's flirty fun. If you want to date.... ??
play nice
@MrKinder got it right on the first page
It would also help if there were Cuddlers in your area. In my case only one pro who cannot Host. And Two non pros that do not reply. I am sure I am not the only male with No or lack of cuddlers in my area
I'm in a very remote rural part of Canada, so I'm facing a unique dilemma and really hoping someone can help out!
The only Cuddlers here are the Timber Wolves and they know nothing about boundaries. They're even worse than the local Cougars which are rarely seen. I try talking nicely, keeping it light and friendly. Yet every time I try to cuddle with them they get extremely aggressive. I'm not talking dry humping, grinding, or boob smashing/grabbing they literally go for the back of your neck and pounce on top of you. It's very disrespectful and I've filed numerous reports with the local RCMP and Conservation Officers but they fail to do anything about the situation.
Any suggestions?
I would agree with everything said here except the part where the OP excludes professionals from the equation. "Guys, if you are meeting a woman for the first time who is not a professional please remember that. more than anything, she has to feel safe." Ummm no. Professionals need to feel safe too...more then anything. We also dislike being raped and murdered. Wtf
@wildirisrainbow ain't that the truth. 😆 Just because we're getting paid, doesn't mean we'll see anyone with money. I actually recently sent back someone's deposit, because they were not respecting my boundaries over email, so I had no confidence in them respecting my physical boundaries in person. I 100% do not see all inquiries, but the only reason I don't is because of a lack of respect or otherwise not in sync with the services I provide.
Beyond what you said though, everyone needs to feel comfortable - men, women, pro, or enthusiast. It's just that males tend to have more difficulty finding someone, and enthusiast women tend to be a little more elusive. That's I think what the op meant, not that professionals don't need to feel comfortable. 😇
@LovenLight I worked up north for a few years. ( Slave Lake ) I still remember the Cougars a guy has to worry about. They get very dangerous when the local bars closed. One came out of no ware and jumped into my truck. My advice AVOID the cougars . You are correct they are extremely aggressive. It VERY disrespectful
@LovenLight would showing them a video of a role model help?
@ubergigglefritz I’m completely frustrated by you saying this
I had my fourth cancellation today that I’ve had in the last three weeks. I haven’t been touched in 3 months! And I’ve never had a proper cuddle. The only way I have been able to have a man touch me previously was in a sexual way. I don’t think men know how to platonically cuddle!
The gentleman today gave me 28 minutes notice from the time I was to be at his home. I spent a lot of time getting ready, making sure all my obligations were covered so that I had freedom to spend this time with him and I was just heading out the door when this message came in.
😤😤😤😤😤
So your assumption that men have a more difficult time finding someone is just frustrating!
All humans have a hard time finding someone! If I were to become pro and allow any man (who respected boundaries) to pay and hold me then I’m sure I would have clients. I would rather sell my body as a prostitute for more money, less time, and less level of closeness and intimacy to any man who paid. No thank you!
@wildirisrainbow yes you're right. Everybody should feel safe and be safe.
@ubergigglefritz @Importance the conventional wisdom is that in general men find it much harder to find cuddle buddies than women. I'm really questioning that now that I've been here a while.
I think it is true that women find it easier to find idiots, losers, creeps and semi-creeps, half-wits, misogynists and miscellanceous dopes who give men a bad name. But to find an actual decent male cuddle buddy..... I'm not so sure.
I think where I'm at at the moment is that on average it is harder for men. But not much harder. Just harder.
It would be awesome if straight men decided to start cuddling each other on here.
@CuddleDuncan, yes. 100%.
@squeakytoy don't you refuse to cuddle men because of your orientation? Isn't that hypocritical?
I can get laid any day of the week by men of my choosing. I can’t get cuddled to save my life.
And men can get laid or cuddled depending on how much they are willing to pay/break anti prostitution laws.
Making real human connections is the hard part.
@BotWithFeelings , I've cuddled men in the past and stopped because of my experiences with them, absolutely not because of my orientation. But plenty of guys describe themselves as nice on here. They could always take a chance on each other.
I also want to add that I'm not complaining about a lack of options. I'd rather cuddle nobody than cuddle a man again.
@squeakytoy Well I am sorry that your experiences have left you with such a sense of distrust. I still think "just cuddle men" is extremely dismissive but at least you aren't giving advice you wouldn't try yourself.
@Importance - I haven't touched anyone in almost a year and I am in no way picky.
@Importance to clarify, are you saying that men who are willing to have sex with you aren't willing to cuddle with you? Also there are definitely male prostitutes.
@BotWithFeelings why do you ask so many questions?
@BotWithFeelings , I'm not sure why this would be considered dismissive. I see tons of posts and comments on here by men lamenting that they haven't received physical touch in years because of women's mistrust of them, because of the ratio of men to women on this site, etc. It always comes down to "because women". Hey, I've cuddled men despite not being attracted to them, and despite it being a far greater risk to me than it would be for a man in my position. So I'm not sure why straight men reject the notion outright.
@CuddleDuncan That's what I meant by what I said. I meant no offense to @Importance and commiserate with all women, pro or enthusiast, in having to sort through all the junk messages and awful experiences with the men who give their gender a bad rep.
At a minimum, women should never be discriminated against by legitimate professionals. Men, even the good ones, can have a hard time getting enthusiasts to respond to them and may even still receive discrimination by professionals. I know professionals who discriminate men for all sorts of different reasons, but I don't know any professional who would say no to a female inquiry, though I'm sure they exist somewhere... 🤷♀️
@squeakytoy It would be awesome if straight men decided to start cuddling each other on here. It would be, but I just - can't, not yet.
@CuddleDuncan
I think it is true that women find it easier to find idiots, losers, creeps and semi-creeps, half-wits, misogynists and miscellanceous dopes who give men a bad name. But to find an actual decent male cuddle buddy..... I'm not so sure. I think where I'm at at the moment is that on average it is harder for men. But not much harder. Just harder.
^ I think this is a reasonable statement.
@Importance And this frustrates me, because I wouldn't cancel on somebody on such short notice that I'd made plans to cuddle with. Which is seeming like it's impossible. I'm wondering what the jerk guys that so many female enthusiasts run into are doing right to get sessions, and I'm doing wrong. Maybe this is the wrong line of thinking. It probably is.
@wildirisrainbow Of course you deserve every guarantee of safety. Maybe even more so because pros tend to see more people, and run a shorter vetting process than enthusiasts.
@Importance you know i get asked that question a lot. I like to understand and learn. In this instance I could possibly help.
@squeakytoy problably for the same reason that many people (me included) reject paying for cuddles, it wouldn't resolve the underlying reasons for wanting one. No one wants to feel unwanted. I haven't cuddled men but I have been on dates with people I wasn't attracted too. I felt worse about myself after.
@BotWithFeelings , would you cuddle a gay man who wanted to cuddle with you?
I'm ashamed to be part of the male gender. From the looks of things, it seems like every guy on the planet is only looking for sex.
A smile in a picture goes a long way
I don't know what orientation has to do with it. I wouldn't cuddle a man at all in most circumstances @squeakytoy
@BotWithFeelings you plan to offer me “Internet advice”? Please, go right ahead.