Life has risks. A man risking $50-100 is nothing compared to the risk of a woman being assaulted.
@Mike403 Well said, you win the forum.
@CuddleMeLater I much prefer it here at CuddleComfort, where a largish city may have 20+ active pros - even if some of those pros are garbage.
I much prefer it here at CuddleComfort, where a largish city may have 20+ active pros - even if some of those pros are garbage.
Apparently there are quite a few people that complain that they can't even get a cuddle session from a professional - I wonder how many of the active profiles actually book sessions? At the same time, CC seems to be the best cuddle site to find cuddles.
Wouldn't fall under scam, just pretty rude. Once had a cuddler come over and flush a feminine hygiene product down my toilet which I found out the hard way after she left and my commode overflowed next time I flushed.
@Andy1996 the short answer is, you don't. In the end of the day, you have to take the risk. All you can do, is the right things. You know what they are.
It's never gone wrong for me with a cuddle, but it has in other circumstances. There is nothing more embarrassing that sitting in a restaurant at a booked table for two on your own, with the staff pointing you out to each other and the entire restaurant fully aware that you have been stood up. It was brutal at the time, but now? Now it's just a funny story.
@Andy1996 Just watch out for the red flags, some of the posts on here have mentioned them. If your gut tells you it's risky, just pass that cuddler and move on to the next. If you're uncomfortable making a deposit, just find another cuddler. @ElleCuddleMi had a great idea and suggested using paypal, where you can contest charges in case you get scammed.
I hope this helps.
@sunnysideup
Apparently there are quite a few people that complain that they can't even get a cuddle session from a professional
That's true. Many pros don't reply to messages and, as far as I can tell, don't actually do any cuddling. It's annoying that they clutter up the site and waste people's time messaging them.
Still, despite all the problems with pros, as you say this is the best cuddle site. That's why I am not enthusiastic about proposals to change things - CC has a formula that at least sort of works, and changes may break that formula.
@CuddleMeLater I see. I believe the trade off is worth it, which is increased safety. The way I see it is that stricter requirements would filter out all the non-committal professionals, leaving the committed ones (it is possible a few would be lost), and increase the safety factor for everyone. Which, based off of the horror stories told by the female members, is something that should greatly improve the site. It is also possible that we might see MORE female cuddlers if they feel it's safer for them. Anything to help in that regard, I am down for!
I have definitely heard all of the horror stories when it comes to the females. And trust me I feel bad for every single one of them is. I am personally know someone who almost got assaulted by a male one time. And unfortunately another female decided to say that she was exaggerating about it. I know for a fact that the victim was not lying given this man’s current history messing around with pregnant women and people who he made uncomfortable.
When a man shows up for a cuddle session with someone he’s only dealt with online he’s risking his personal safety too. Common sense folks, be smart with your money and your safety. Man or woman.
CC has a formula that at least sort of works, and changes may break that formula.
That is true. I am very keen on change, but only in a step-by-step evolutionary way. We don't want to risk breaking the things that do work.
@Lucas_ well, yes. But history teaches us that the physical risk to a woman is vastly greater than it is to a man.
With all due respect, history means little in this context. Unless we’re talking about the history of people being assaulted when meeting someone they met online, in which case I suspect history shows that men are victimized more than women under those circumstances.
@Lucas_ In the period 2003-15 in the UK 85% of the victims of sexual offences linked to online dating were female.
That’s terrible and I suspect those stats are concerned with what happens once the dating relationship is already established. That’s much different from someone getting assaulted, robbed, ambushed, etc upon meeting someone they’ve only previously met online, before the relationship gets off the ground. A simple google search of “man robbed meeting online” is instructive.
@Lucas_ How did you come to that conclusion?
Though the UK tracks and publishes their crime data at a far better rate than the US and breaks those crimes down into specific fields... Here are some stats published in January of 2020 over all...
40,000,000 adults (single, married, and somewhere in between) use dating sites. Here are some other interesting statistics to bear in mind:
Ten percent of sex offenders use online dating to meet people Approximately 3% of men using online dating are psychopaths More than 25% of rapists use online dating sites and apps to find victims Internet predators commit over 16,000 abductions, 100 murders and thousands of rapes annually
Note: In the UK, crimes perpetrated by men against women far out number the reverse.
For US data, I couldn't find stats related to crimes against men to hold in comparison, but would like to see them if you have them.
A simple google search of “man robbed meeting online” is instructive.
No it isn't. It doesn't address the question at all, since the word "man" is in the search string.
I suspect those stats are concerned with what happens once the dating relationship is already established
Flat dead wrong. They aren't. In fact they relate specifically to first dates.
@Mike403 That is BS because i have always been told the reason for the deposit is to ensure you will show and that they have expenses. To connect money to sexual assault is silly because someone can pay money to a pro and she could still be assaulted. But as stated in this thread it is to cover expenses and no-shows. I was ripped off twice early on when i started on this cuddle journey and wound up out the money and a cuddle. I am supposed to keep my mind open to the idea of paying money in advance? Nope. If i go without cuddles that is fine but it has yet to be an issue. If cancellations are a problem don’t lay it off on me. I wasn’t the one that canceled.
I refuse to pay deposits after being ripped off a couple of times. To continue to do the same thing is the definition of insanity.
@FunCartel - That's fine. I don't want to argue with you anymore on this website. I gave my opinion. If you refuse to pay a deposit, that is your choice.
@Mike403 I am not arguing, I am disagreeing. But i will bow out since you can’t adult.
@FunCartel - Seriously? Grow up.
@Mike403 yes, seriously and i have been for quite awhile. And you—grown up yet?
We may be getting off topic again. I don't think anyone here claimed that risking being scammed out of a deposit is worse than risking assault. Anyone who dares makes such a claim must be wrong in the head, must be hiding under a rock, and need to be educated on what so many women go through.
But this thread specifically is about how to avoid being scammed out of your deposit.
@sunnysideup Exactly. The only foolproof way is to not do it. I believe the pro should be allowed to ask, but I am allowed to say no. I have never flaked and i am not going to throw away more money for dome dude that flaked on her in the past. Never pay money up front to a stranger.
Aww... Jeez... @FunCartel ~ Did your last cuddle not go well? Poor guy...
@Mike403 ~ Here's a different (and hopefully a more fun) airplane for you to interact with...
@quixotic_life - Since when does an airplane flap its wings? lol
@quixotic_life This is why I never choose a seat in the back.
@squeakytoy ~ 🤣😂🤣
@quixotic_life My last cuddle went spectacularly—and with no deposit
@FunCartel ~ Yay! That's great!! You were just coming off a bit extra so was trying a gentle approach toward redirection. Glad it went so well though! 🙂 And whoot! to no deposit!
I wonder if your not being required one is due to how many successes you've had, so you're more trusted than others? Or do you see, "deposit" and skip to the next search return so it's a non-issue from the jump?
@quixotic_life i skip to the next one. I do not have the time or inclination to debate the topic with a pro when 90% of the pros do not beg for a deposit.
And yes i came on strong because it is irresponsible and illogical to make a connection between not paying a deposit and sexual assault. First it should be insulting to victims of sexual assault to assert that a few dollars up front wards off sexual assault (as if eliminating the possibility is that simple). Second, it simply isn’t true. Look at crime statistics of sex workers that are assaulted after being paid. The logic just isn’t there to link the two.