FAIR KARMA

[Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
in Pro Cuddling
I've been mulling this over since I gave a fabulous karma review to a client who said he would do the same but then...didn't. Firstly, I just started a policy of posting karma after the client posts it. We shall see how that goes.

But I think that it might be fairer to introduce a web survey from CC that gets sent to both parties--but that has different question items for each. And then the survey itself tabulates the rating, which could be 4 1/4 stars, instead of the pro and client having to figure out how many stars to rate the other at.

Some questions that would be pertinent:

1. Was the pro cuddler on time?
Follow up question if No: was there a mitigating circumstance, such as excessive traffic, inclement weather, or an emergency that caused the pro's tardiness?

2. Did the pro or client host? If Yes:
*Was their home clean?
*Was the location you cuddled in comfortable?
...and any other pertinent questions.

3. Did the pro (or client, if the survey is sent to the pro) violate the Client Service Agreement in any way?
(If the answer was Yes, next question would be Did the client (or pro) amend their behavior once reminded it was out if bounds?

You get the idea. Of course there should still be a section where you can write a review, but I think some objectivity is called for in giving a karma rating.

Also, I think both person's karma rating should post at the same time--and give 48 hours max for each party to complete the survey.

Comments

  • snuggle554321snuggle554321
    Hey sweetie! This is something that has been going around for a while. One of the biggest concerns is people not posting karma because they were afraid of retaliation from the other person. A lot of pros on here don't want to give bad karma or report someone because a lot of times the client knows where they live and they are afraid of repercussions. Some clients feel the same way about pros.  The fact of the matter is, if you want to give somebody a Karma review you can. But it shouldn't hinge on whether or not that person is going to give you a Karma review also. If you want to give somebody karma then do so. If you don't want to then don't. If you want to hold off and have them give you a review first that is absolutely up to you.  However, just because someone gives me a good karma review doesn't mean that I will automatically give them a good karma review or any review at all back.  In my opinion if  you regret giving somebody good karma because they didn't also give you good karma, then you probably shouldn't have given them a karma review in the first place. It's supposed to be honest reviews instead of tit for tat or retaliation  measures. I also a lot of times won't give a review until I have had a few sessions with the person. That isn't always the case with me but it's become one of my standard rules.  Unless the client was insanely amazing or extremely bad I don't really like to do immediate reviews.  In fact it took a really long time for me to post a negative review because I was concerned about retaliation.  That client also immediately posted a great review to my profile after the first session so the retaliation that I was concerned about wasn't  about a  review.  I did not feel even remotely the same so I did not give him a review. I did see him a second time because I was new and I thought it could have been my fault for the way the session had gone. But after the second session I realize that it wasn't even remotely my fault!  I'm not going to name names because I don't believe it's necessary! If people come across his profile then they will see my review. Otherwise I don't need there to be a witchhunt out on him. He has a right to his privacy just as much as I do!   The only people that would really need to know information about him or what happened in our session would be people who are considering cuddling with him or previous cuddlers who are trying to see if he did the same thing with me as he did with them. For anyone else, it's none of their business. (Not to mention not professional.)  It also falls under the new privacy rule. All in all, post a review if you want to post a review. But don't do it just so you get a review back. 
  • greenearth2greenearth2
    Just delete the karma you left and problem solved.  

  • quietman775quietman775
    edited May 2017
    @snuggle554321 I wholeheartedly agree.  Think about Amazon.com's review policies as a point of comparison. They absolutely forbid review exchanges between authors. If they get a whiff of "I'll write you a positive review if you'll write me one" they will delete the reviews, and potentially suspend the reviewing privileges of the reviewers. Reviews are supposed to be the spontaneous unsolicited reaction of the person posting it. Anything else makes the authenticity of the review suspect.

    As for reviews on this site, one of the things that puzzles me is that I have never seen a middle-of-the-road review. Everyone either gets five stars -- "She was totally awesome!!! Will repeat soon!!!" ---- or just one star --- "He was a monster; beware this guy!"   The lack of range is suspect. Was no cuddler a just average 3-star experience?  Or a 4-star, as in "was very nice, but not the best I've met"?  I have met over a dozen cuddle pros over the last two-and-a-half years. A few of them were awesome. Most were fine. A handful were forgettable, and a few were strongly negative. I have to think there would be a similar bell curve in any set of real-world interactions so the predominance of 5-star reviews here just makes them seem phony. Like they're calculated to avoid hurt feelings and animosity, rather than to tell the truth.

    And there is something to that. If you review a book on Amazon, the author is presumably a stranger to you. Not a person that you've met face to face and spent an hour or two hugging and having deep conversation with. So it's understandable if there is trepidation to give a less-than-stellar star rating to a session, because it feels like rating a person rather than a commodity like a book. That person has feelings. And knows where you live. So...

    @Starlight may be onto something with her objective question & answer format. Because just like on Amazon, a review that says "Awesome! Love it!' Doesn't really tell you much. The things that appeal to one cuddler might not appeal to another. An extrovert might love the fact that his cuddler kept up a lively running conversation. An introvert might prefer a quiet session of mostly silence. Star ratings do nothing to describe the facts and circumstances of the experience.

    All of this is a way to say I would support having the experience survey and comments, while doing away with the star-system entirely.
  • greenearth2greenearth2
    Yeah I think because you're directly rating a person and not just something they wrote, its much harder to give them less than 5 stars...because that just seems mean.  
    they might see 4 stars as a criticism


  • quietman775quietman775
    One brief addendum. It's probably best to see any karma you leave anyone as being for the benefit of other readers, not for the benefit of the person being rated. You are conveying your honest assessment of a session so that others may be aided in forming an opinion on whether or not to engage with this person. If you think of it that way, then there is less temptation to engage in quid prop quo reviews: ""I'll give you a good one if you'll do the same for me."  Your reviews are not for each other; they're for everyone else. The suggestion that Starlight take back the glowing review she gave and now regrets only highlights the problem of the system being gamed. People will conclude that the review was not genuine, that it was only given in anticipation of the glowing review that would be received in return. That's why Amazon forbids review exchanges; they are inherently self-interested, and therefore less likely to be an unbiased, objective account of your true feelings.
  • snuggle554321snuggle554321
    Very true! Unfortunately most people will take it very personally if they don't get an amazing review!  Even if someone gets a five star review I read what the review says.  A lot of times you can get a better feel for someone through that.  The other problem is retaliation.  I had one client give me a great review. I waited a long time to give him a bad review because I didn't want to deal with any repercussions. Now he is upset because he can't give me a bad review in return because I blocked him. It's less about an honest review and more about retaliation. That's a really big problem on here and apparently also on Airbnb.  Cuddling is a very intimate and personal thing. It's kind of understandable when people take a less than five star review personally. 
  • greenearth2greenearth2
    Well that's an interesting thought.  But I think the personal nature of these interactions will not make that happen any time soon.  
    Unless you plan on not seeing that pro again how stupid would you be to leave karma complaining about her body odor or something like that ?   She probably won't want to see you again.   I had a pro who was upset because a client mentioned that she had bad breath.   if he had put that in her karma I can't even imagine how she would feel.  Sure it would benefit other clients but it would hurt her feelings and she would be publicly humiliated.   
  • quietman775quietman775
    @greenearth Agreed. that's why I think eliminating the whole star rating system and substituting a survey with objective questions on it might be the way to go. Star ratings and subjective reviews are worse than useless if everyone knows there is powerful disincentive to be honest, whether it's fear of retaliation, guilt over potentially hurt feelings or whatever. A bunch of 5-star reviews for a legit 2-star cuddler hurts everyone, because people book appointments expecting a stellar experience and get burned. I have no desire to hurt or humiliate anyone with a bad rating. But the answer cannot be insincere flattery and puff piece reviews. The idea of of reviewing another person the same way we review a book or a blender is starting to feel distasteful to me. I'm starting to think the survey should be very perfunctory: Were they on time? Was the environment good?  Did they follow the rules? Stuff like that has little potential to inflict emotional discomfort on someone.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    Well, then any posts about someone having no karma are just ridiculous, then. (There are warnings in different threads about being careful of people with no karma.)

    I won't delete the great karma I gave someone out of retaliation. That's just juvenile. Also, if a session were remotely not 5 stars I don't even mention it to the client. But:

    I get what you're saying, @snuggle554321 . Just trying to suss out what ways we can encourage more use of the system, and a more objective one, but on the other hand I do understand the feeling of, "Well that sucked but it was just not the right combination, nothing really against the other person!" And I would hope my client, if that ever happened, would feel the same. :)

    @quietman775 Maybe, eliminate Karma altogether and have a legit session rating only, in which CC makes decisions about clients and pro cuddlers from objective data? The problem, I just realized, is: What would prompt the surveys to be sent out? It would have to be a confirmed session.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    @starlight @quietman775 thank you for your thoughtful post and reply.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    @starlight  would you agree to a repeat session with the client ? You have him a positive karma.  Perhaps he wants to  average three sessions and evaluate 
  • MorpheusMorpheus
    I still say, karma should be for pros only. This is the only way that pros will truly be rated correctly. Pros are provided a service and accepting money for it and should be rated. With yelp, think about it, businesses don't rate customers do they? 
  • greenearth2greenearth2
    So not sure what was the original point of this post ?  A complaint that if you leave karma for someone they should leave you karma too ?  
    Maybe they don't want to leave bad karma so would rather just leave none at all.  I know a pro who had a bad session with a client but instead of leaving karma she left none at all.  
    On eBay customers can leave negative and positive feedback but sellers can only leave positive or neutral feedback.   If as a seller I had a terrible buyer I would just leave no feedback at all instead of a positive or neutral one.  
    So maybe this client was doing you a favor.  

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