Cuddle Comfort

ImportanceImportance
edited January 2021 in General

After really pressing hard to find something here for me, I am pretty confident that it does not exist at this time. I find Cuddle Comfort to be a marketplace for predominantly married men to purchase intimacy from women.

I wanted my emotional and intimate needs met. There is no space for me here currently. I want to believe that Cuddle Comfort started as a website with the intention of helping all types of single people receive cuddling and physical touch. But it has just become a currency exchange for legal intimacy. And this works out very well if you are a man that has a few extra hundred dollars to spare on affection regularly.

Being a female that is seeking out a man for consistent affection and friendship has proven futile. I will keep my hope up. But I must remove myself from checking this site daily and engaging in the forums. I tried to be open and extremely vulnerable in the threads to help show a different side from what is currently expressed here. I understand that my opinions do not matter here. I understand that what I want does not matter here. I understand that there is little to no space for a female that wants her cuddling needs met by a man here. And it goes beyond even these ideas— I am offensive to most of you.

My intention is to ignore the forums and to keep a profile up in hopes that at some point I will stumble across someone who can be there for me emotionally.

This has been an interesting experience. When I first joined I did not expect to find married people here. I did not expect to find women selling intimacy. I expected the site to be a lot of single individuals who wanted to make friendships and cuddle. I was completely caught off guard.

I am surprised that there is such an open marketplace for married men to cheat on their wives. I am fundamentally opposed to this premise. This just doesn’t work for me and it is obvious if you have read me in the forums.

Here’s to an end of my distress in seeking something different via forum communication. 👋🏻

Comments

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    I have to agree with you in a lot of ways, plus I have noticed that the forum has a higher than expected amount of people who seem to take delight in making people feel uncomfortable, and in causing friction and arguments.

    This isn't the wholesome, nice site I was hoping for was when I signed up- there are a lot of big egos that seem to take pleasure in stamping on others, and some very misaligned people here for sure. Some of the threads on here show a real lack of both empathy and maturity- you might not agree with someone, and if you don't, the grown up thing to do is to move on, not bait and harass people for having conflicting opinions.

  • waynewvwaynewv

    @BuggleBear , you hit the nail on the head for sure !!!!!!!

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I know there is a fair amount of misogyny on here, but I’ve found the forums can also be at times pretty un-inviting for the guys too. Perhaps I shall also take a break from here as well.

    The good thing about the forums, when it’s not full of vitriol, is that some of the more outspoken members speak their mind and provide a different perspective. Arguing with anyone who is set in their ways is likely to result in futility as you battle with ego more than facts/reason. Yet it’s the only method we have of testing our theories/view directly on the forum. It’s just one perspective though, no one has to agree with them, but it does suck if it seems like no one is hearing out our side. I would like to see more arguments ending with more commons ground at the end, as ideally we are on here to learn from each other. Despite these issues, I’ve learned from many of the posts. I also appreciate so much, and have learned much from your candor @Importance. It takes guts to be vulnerable on here. And you’re funny too. There doesn’t exist a forum member who I agree with 100% of the time (unless they only posted once), but that part of it also makes it interesting. I hope I can PM you with more questions.

    @BuggleBear i agree with you that I think the forums could use a general bump in empathy and maturity. I’ve seen people post on the forums once, then later PM me wondering why they ever bothered posting in the forum in the first place.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    I find Cuddle Comfort to be a marketplace for predominantly married men to purchase intimacy from women.

    Strange, since I've hardly ever seen a profile that didn't say "single" on it. Male, female, or otherwise, it seems to me like most people on this site are unmarried. I know I sure am. And I haven't purchased any intimacy from any of the people I've cuddled through here. We cuddled for free. On account of being enthusiasts.

    I wanted my emotional and intimate needs met.

    That's understandable. This is a site for getting your platonic touch needs met, though. Emotional needs? I... think that's a bonus, if it happens. And intimate needs? That's... uh. Can I correctly assume that's a weird way of saying "cuddle," or will I be wrong?

    Being a female that is seeking out a man for consistent affection and friendship has proven futile.

    The, uh, consistency may be the problem. How often do you expect this man to give you affection and friendship? If your answer is "constantly," a cuddle buddy may not be what you're looking for. Don't get me wrong, hanging out with your buddies is fun—but do you really want to spend all day every day with them?

    Part of the fun of cuddle buddies for me is the casual nature of the relationship. It's not like you're married. In fact you might not ever see them again after you've cuddled once.

    You hang out, watch a movie or play a game or read a book while snuggled up together, and then that's it. Maybe you do it again sometime. Maybe you don't. It's cool either way, because nobody's making demands on anybody else—you both wanted that one cuddle, and you got it. Nothing more is expected. I like that.

    That said, long term friendships can absolutely develop on here. It's just, well, that's not really the main goal, is it? The whole point is to cuddle. Not repeatedly with the same person, necessarily. Just... to cuddle.

    I am surprised that there is such an open marketplace for married men to cheat on their wives.

    The fact that you assume a married person who sits on a couch with anybody they're not married to must, of necessity, be cheating on their spouse(s) is telling. You really think cuddling's that big a deal, huh. Something people only do within committed relationships. That's... whee.

    As a side note, the forums of the internet in general are full of things not everyone likes. That's life.

    And the greater amount of horribleness online as compared to in real life? Well, that's the GIFT of the internet. Personally, I've come to expect it (and so I never run into a higher than expected number of people who seem to take delight in making people feel uncomfortable, and in causing friction and arguments).

    In general, though, I like the internet. I've had my mind changed through arguments here (thus bringing me closer to being actually right about things). It's a good place, the internet. Or I think so, anyway.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @DarrenWalker 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I might add that looking for only single people on here insinuates the person has confused CC with Match.com.

  • Mike403Mike403

    I only see it as cheating if their spouse doesn't know about it. Keeping secrets is the sign of a toxic relationship. Some are okay with their significant other cuddling somebody else in a platonic way.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    This site has never been advertised as a site for singles or as a site that excluded married people or people in relationships. It’s also not cuddle comforts job or even their business to ensure that those in relationships inform their significant others of their presence here.
    Like @DarrenWalker this site is exclusively about getting your physical need of touch met anything else is a bonus not right to being a member here.
    It does seem like your expectations were off about what you would find here but that’s not CC’s fault it’s the fault of your expectations. It does seem like what you’re looking for are better found somewhere else . Best of luck in your endeavors

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited January 2021

    Please, @Importance, I don't mean to attack or offend you in any way. I just want to try to help you here. Please tell me if I am wrong some where. But I have to agree with the others here, that CC isn't marketed strictly toward singles looking to build a relationship. From your posts, it seems that you are looking for a full on, committed monogamous relationship that starts non-sexually. That may happen, but it's probably not on most CC people's radar. I could be wrong though. You may have better luck on a dating website, I know so many men are pigs and it sucks, but you will find someone. One of my friends didn't have any sex with his girlfriend until they got married, for example. You'll want to find gentlemen like my friend there, they do exist.

    The married thing bothers me a lot as well, but atleast on that poll most people were okay with it as long as the spouses knew.

  • AngelPendavezAngelPendavez
    edited January 2021

    Thank you for being so open and honest @Importance

    Reading this I'm reminded a bit of @quietman775 's story, "Running the Gauntlet" from the Cuddle Fiction forum.

    He uses some very clever metaphors and analogies to represent the world of professional cuddling and cuddle enthusiasts, and the hardships you may face as you navigate it.

    I'd like to invite you to read it if you haven't already ~

    (https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/2941/cuddle-fiction)

    I feel your hurt, and frustration, and your sadness. I understand wanting that connection, and wanting those emotional needs to be met. In the end, people want to know that they matter, and to feel loved and appreciated and supported.

    But I think, perhaps, you've put too much pressure on yourself to find that here, and you might benefit from adjusting your general expectations.

    What you want does matter, but it also doesn't change the reality of the world we live in. Not everyone you meet will celebrate you. But that doesn't mean the encounter has less meaning or importance. (I swear this wasn't a pun)

    It sounds like maybe you've built things up in your mind, and when they don't work out as expected, you feel this deep sense of disappointment.

    Maybe you might benefit from simply allowing things to be what they are.

    Entertain the thought for a moment, even if your initial reaction is to recoil.

    Maybe a cuddle can just be a cuddle.

    They may not want to be friends after. Maybe they will, but you don't feel the same way. Or maybe you have a simple arrangement where you sit quietly, listen to some music together, and enjoy the benefits of all that beautiful oxytocin once a week.

    Let an experience be what it is. Could be great. Could be awful. Could be just meh.

    But who knows? Maybe you'll find what you're really looking for when you stop looking.

    It's an emotionally taxing process, of course, and that likely won't change. So I can completely understand if you are no longer willing to give it your time. Maybe it simply isn't for you, and that's okay. Only you can decide.

    I wish you the best, either way.

    I know it's an especially lonely time right now. Those of us with compromised loved ones to think about can't risk the journey out to find cuddle partners or see professionals. I wish I had the answers, but I'm afraid I don't. All I can say is that you aren't weathering the hardship alone. And it won't rain forever ~

    I hope this is received well. I hope it does some good. I hope I understood what you were trying to say, please let me know if I didn't 💛 Thank you, again, for sharing.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Its really bold of all you posters mentioning dating sites to think there are no married people there.

    As for the original post, it definitely stinks when our expectations don't align with reality. It's important to take stock and reassess those expectations so that we can continue to stay healthy. I'm glad you've done that and have chosen a way forward that will better suit you.

    Good luck 💜

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Sashamcgee - Yes there are married people on dating sites, but there shouldn't be. If a man isn't happy with his wife, why doesn't he divorce her first?

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    I didn't say they should be. I also didn't say men, I said married people.

    My only point was that there were multiple posters telling her to go to dating sites, as if she would not also have to wade through married people there. It's a wide scale problem not just CC problem.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Sashamcgee - Yes, but the point people are trying to make is that CC isn't really designed for singles. Maybe somebody has a spouse who can't give the physical touch they need and has to get it elsewhere.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    I also never said it was designed for singles.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Sashamcgee - Well, you are criticizing people for suggesting dating sites, so I had to put my 2 cents in.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    I was criticizing their false expectations of no married people on those sites. It isn't a helpful suggestion if it comes with the same issues. It's just a snarky one to poke at her.

  • hugonehugallhugonehugall

    For the record I never suggested a dating site lol

  • Mike403Mike403

    @hugonehugall - You're right. I had to scroll up and see where it was mentioned. @sunnysideup suggested it.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Sashamcgee I didn't want to be snarky, I just wanted to help. I also didn't suggest a dating site because there would be no married people on a dating app, but I think it's more inline with what she's looking for, because dating implies monogamy. And assuming that CC attracts more touch starved single people rather than relationship starved. Dating websites and apps definitely suck, but for a slightly different set of reasons.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    There were multiple people, which is why I didn't tag one specific person.

  • Mike403Mike403

    hmmm... I can't find another post that suggested it....but I just did a search on the word "dating". I don't have time to actually re-read the entire thread.

  • SashamcgeeSashamcgee

    Ah. That explains it. A specific website was referenced.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @MIke403 @Sashamcgee Maybe someone else did, but I supposed that's not terribly irrelevant. The point being from my earlier post that I didn't suggest a dating site under the assumption that it is free of married people, and made no claim that there were no married people on there.

    Just a simple misinterpretation, and possible unclear rationalization on my part.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Just want to poke my head in and say that poly people exist.

  • GaryGary Mod

    DarrenWalker hit the nail on the head with his post. It seems to me the OP has quite unusual expectations of the site in "I wanted my emotional and intimate needs met" - this would be a better reflection of a dating website.

    Also I don't fully appreciate the OPs definition of married men cuddling as "cheating" and that this site is a "marketplace" for this - sounds incredibly libellous.

    OP is totally missing the intent of this site and should reflect more on how they are perceived than be quick to throw judgement and generalisations. The overall sentiment of this post feels particulary self conceited - maybe you should reflect on what you can give to others rather than focussing on "meeting" your own emotional and intimate needs.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Importance - I like you...I really do, but the advice people are giving is spot on. I just want you to be happy. I hope you are able to find what you are looking for. I wish you the best of luck.

  • GentleMan1111GentleMan1111

    @Importance ,I guess there are different definitions of cheating. My wife knows exactly what I'm doing here and understands. She and I enjoy as much physical connection/intimacy as possible given health/physical issues and a 20 year age difference. She also understands my calling as an energy healer, that it is part of who I am to connect with others on deeper levels. I'm sorry you are frustrated with this site. I feel that way too about some of it. I hope you find what you're looking for, whether here or somewhere else. Also, if you've never looked into solo Tantra, I would highly recommend it. I know it helps me when I feel like my needs aren't being met by others.

  • Mike403Mike403

    I see that you blocked me now. I'm not sure happened. I thought we were cool with each other.

  • ImportanceImportance

    @Gary why don’t you and your pet @Mark kick me off this site?

  • [Deleted User]SoulcuddlerZ (deleted user)

    Some things can't be helped...

    Closed. 2021-01-18 15:21:09.89 ET

This discussion has been locked.