I'd love to hear what worked the best for everyone. Did you cuddler offer you a warm beverage? Was it a weighted blanket? Did they lightly run their fingers over your arms or massage your head? What made you the happiest when cuddling?
My first cuddler noticed I was nervous and asked me if this was my first time and when I said yes she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch and we just cuddled. It was amazing. I couldn't believe how good it felt to cuddle with someone.
My very first cuddle session, I was a very slightly nervous. I rang the doorbell right on time, the door opened and there was my cuddler.
We both smiled in recognition, and then, after a millisecond's hesitation while she decided what to do but still too quick for me to say or do anything, she gave me a little social hug.
That was it. Job done.
My experiences have been great so far. A confident person is always good. My first experience at cuddling my partner took my hand and went in for a hug like they had known me a long time. It made me feel safe and know I was going to have a good experience regardless of my shyness. He smelled nice and had a warm smile (he knows who he is too btw) he didn’t mind my nervous chatter and he respected all of my boundaries. Now it feels like we are old friends and he has been very understanding of my current situation and I hope to have very many more cuddles with him.
I never felt “not safe” per se, I guess feeling safe would be geared more towards the ladies than the guys, although I’m sure it applies on both ends, but what made me the most comfortable & the happiest was the attention to detail as far as atmosphere (the place was soo clean / very organized / smelled really good / & artsy like very welcoming in a sense ... as well as the way she presented herself & her smile never left her & she gave me options saying I have music 🎶- tell me your favorite genre : I also have movies / or we can just talk or be in silence ... & to top it all of I really felt like I was the only thing that mattered in the world : )
Simply hold me. I want to feel that again.
@cuddles_ndream in a cuddling context 'safe' can of course mean physically safe which is the sense in which you are using it. It can also mean more generally safe from non-violent crime, or just insulting or threatening words or behaviour.
But most commonly it means 'emotionally safe'. That was certainly the concern I had before my first session: I had done my homework and knew that the risk of anything physically or financially harmful happening was zero. Will the cuddler look after my feelings as best they can, or will they trample all over them? Will they ridicule or exploit my emotional weaknesses, or will they protect me?
@CuddleDuncan, sadly the physical risk can never be assumed to be zero. 0.01% chance, sure, but never zero.
@CuddleDuncan well said. When I hired a professional cuddler, I am only thinking of two things her safety and getting my emotional needs met by my cuddler having a warm, friendly personality.
They established boundaries verbally. They were talked through. It wasn't just, "Read this and sign it". Well, it was that, too. The other thing they did was speak to trust and what I could expect from them.
@BuggleBear fair enough.
One of the men I cuddled in the past did a really good job at making me feel safe and comfortable. His apartment was clean, and arranged to be relaxing. We talked about what we were alright with before we started, and eased into the cuddle first by holding hands, then by hugging, then finally spooning, etc. He continually asked permission for position changes, etc. He was never pushy. I knew that whenever I went to his place, it would be a good cuddle