@JohnfromVienna
Woah. I'd forgotten that I wrote that! I'm very pleased with myself, and @DarrenWalker can attest to this, as I've been happily bouncing around and reciting bits of my amazing prose.
So, thank you for that. Maybe I was a tiny bit hard on you, but you had posted something that struck me as terrible, nefarious, and made my skin crawl.
Anyways! Thanks again for sharing that bit of writing! It has brightened up my day!
Thank you, @DarrenWalker, for providing some context—and a direct link—to what @JohnfromVienna was talking about.
I still think his post was super creepy.
@DarkLordChungus - I closed this thread, which is problematic and does not foster mutual respect. Litigating prior threads and "chumming sharks" with prior insults is unnecessary, @DarrenWalker .
@DarkLordChungus - Prior bans and misanthropic behavior may provide some historical context, and your comments are invariably reported, but you brought this judgement/moderation on yourself. Many of your comments get reported and flagged. I've edited many and also left some intact - as you're well aware, and so are those that have reported you.
So let's get to the tough questions for you, because I want you to think very carefully about if or how you want to proceed in the forums.
How do you want to be a part of the CC forums and community? Do you want to be? I'm not interested in you being anyone but yourself, but I am interested in how you exercise your choices and skills. Being a misanthrope is easy and base - any chunk of carbon can do it. If you cannot harness your skills, if you cannot make connections, and if you choose not to utilize your communication skills towards some sense of community, some semblance of respect and support, then I ask you: why are you here?
I will open this thread up only at your request and with your answer to the community. Until then, I'm calling time out.
Continued time out/bump.
Opening thread for @DarkLordChungus ' response.
So basically someone can cause enough harm within the community to have their account banned, can come back under a new account, remain here long enough to show their behaviors haven't changed, receive multiple warnings and have their posts edited repeatedly, be given a timeout and then will be invited to return again to participate?
Huh...? What does a deleted account holder have to do to receive such a privilege here? I'm honestly wondering because I haven't found anything explaining how one goes about achieving that. Perhaps it's only shared once banned??? Or maybe there are differing degrees of banishment???
@Sideon @SoulcuddlerZ and/or @Mark ~ Any info would be nice to have on this. Thanks
@quixotic_life - there are two types of bans: site-wide, or forums. I cannot speak of his prior ban or account as this was before my tenure as a mod. Under my purview, he has been given multiple warnings. At this point, his options come down to changed behavior or forum OR site ban. I will not tolerate future transgressions. An aside, but anyone banned or put in timeout may appeal their decision. Few choose to do so convincingly.
Oh my god, this thread reopened!
I know that some people enjoy what he writes but I’m honestly tired of it. I don’t have that niche humour in me to find what he writes as a gem. I don’t enjoy it. Whether he’s being snarky, sarcastic or straight up rude, I find nothing funny about it. I don’t understand why he can be timed out so many times or given so many warnings and nothing comes of it. He will come back and go right back to his mean, smug attitude.
Someone gets banned for saying something blunt like “you are incredibly stupid”
But because he flowers his cruel comments with snark, he seems to be saved and gains more fans. And the fact that he can constantly make comments about songs or movies mentioning stuff like “Cum Junkie” as a good romantic song or “Human Centipede” as a great cuddle movie, shows his crude side that I personally do not think should be on this site. For those that think this kind of attitude is funny, good for you. But 95% of the people I talk with are tired of this.
This attitude pushes people away from connecting in the forum. I, myself stopped answering as many threads because it’s annoying seeing everything that’s written. He and a few others surrounding him write this stuff to be funny here and there but it’s mostly to attack whoever says something they don’t agree with.
I mean, look at this thread right here. As an example, he started this thread purely for people to get their feelings out about him, but every person that said something about him that he didn’t like, he answered with a snarky comment. His fans also jumping in to attack which secured anyone else from wanting to release any transgressions towards him.
Soon, his forum timeout will end, he will come back and go right back to being rude and ignorant. The few that run the forum (not the moderators) will laugh and titter at what he says as his hurtful comments damage any courage others would have to jump in on threads. I’m just tired. Very, very tired...
????
Please be sure you're not baiting or making personal attacks. Please do not engage with the OP further. [-Sid]
I honestly did not want to engage with this thread... but i have to second what @Sheena123 said.
I stopped coming to the forums (and the site in general) because of the person in question. It’s too much negativity. I came to this site in search of human kindness/connection, and the forums Chungus participates in inevitably dissolve into attacks and mocking. There are sites like Reddit where his brand of humor would be appreciated and celebrated. A cuddle website is not the place.
In response to the original question: one could stand to remember that not everything requires your opinion. If you don’t like something...scroll away. No need to crap on those who enjoy it.
I recall one post that was clearly someone hurting and looking for some empathy or a kind word on the forum. He was dismissed to "go get therapy" and was more or less ridiculed by the usual suspects on here. Wow I'm sure he never thought of that one himself, chief. None of us know the post's author's situation, but we're in a pandemic with massive unemployment and a lot of folks with no health insurance. Out of pocket therapy is not cheap, and a little kindness can go a long way. Some people did chime in with some positivity, but the majority of the comments were applauding the snark. Expecting to not be ridiculed on a cuddling forum: bet he won't make that mistake again. Sometimes the ones on here giggling and tee-hee-ing the rude comments are as bad as the comments themselves.
@SH17 I totally agree with you. Those that keep supporting this behaviour are just as bad. Then they learn from one of the kings of sarcasm to go forth and spread the ignorance and think it’s fine. They know who they are. They don’t care or see how rude they are. I’ve seen so many people think this place was trash solely because of them. They leave and then these rude “I own the forum” peeps laugh about it... it’s not funny. You’re making this site look like a shark hunt and we’re the chum... just stop...
@cricket26 same here.
@Rocket_Man is there a reason you keep commenting with just a load of dots? Am I missing something? Very confused.
@BuggleBear, that indicates where someone has deleted their comment. It’s not possible to delete a post, but you can edit it to get rid of the text.
I don’t know why he would though. It sounded logical to me when I read it
I also did not really want to participate in this thread. I said my piece and do not really want to be reminded of it. For those who did get a chance to see it, thank you for taking the time to read it.
I am not a fan of picking on people. I am also not a fan of talking about people when they are not able to defend themself. I realize not everyone likes @DarkLordChungus , I know I have had my fair share of things I have not agreed with or disliked. However there is likely not anyone here who I have not had that with . I am not going to tell anybody how they should think , I just dont like the gain up while someone isn't here to speak for themselves thing . My personal opinion is that we are all adults and if we aren't able to cope with the occasional thing we dislike or are offended by without needing to be feel accommodated or coddled for it. then that might be more the bigger issue as opposed to the musings of an interweb stranger . I have no opinion either way, I welcome everyone, whether I like everything they do and say or not
I'm assuming I'm one of the 'certain people'.
I can live with that. 😎
Personally, I find @DarkLordChungus' humour/comments to be a little surprising sometimes but I am still not as bothered by him as I am by some people on here that claim to be 'nice people'.
At least you know where you stand with Chungus and I respect that.
And no, before anyone says anything, we are not friends, I have no alliance with him, this is just my opinion. You don't have to agree with said opinion, but I am entitled to have it.
"Why not make a thread where they can voice their concerns without worrying about derailing a thread?" And so here we are! OP's own words. Just because the majority of the opinions shared seem to be negative, I wouldn't say that constitutes ganging up or picking on anyone. I'd say that you asked for the truth, and I guess you got it. And from what I've gathered from the OP's posts over the course of time, he's not a fan of sugar-coating things. This just shines a light on something that has clearly been simmering under the surface for a good while in this community.
Lastly, the advice you give "if we aren't able to cope with the occasional thing we dislike or are offended by without needing to be feel heard" is sound advice. If only it were followed by the OP, I doubt there would be a need for this thread in the first place. If this community has any hope to grow or gain acceptance, jumping on every new face who comes to the forum looking for encouragement or god forbid commits the unpardonable sin of asking a question that's been asked countless times before (questions that everyone new to cuddling has had I might add) is not helping that goal. The revolving door of new members checking in and checking out will never improve.
Greetings, one and all—I have returned. Here's a copy of the message that I sent to a moderator, answering some questions:
"I want to be a part of the community. There are several forum-goers who I enjoy hearing from. Going forward, I'll be sure to keep my posts civil; I will refrain from baiting, starting flame wars, and rabble-rousing in general.
"I am here, primarily, for the forum. While I may not agree with every perspective shared here, I do derive some enjoyment from reading them. I have also met some cool people here, and the chance to cuddle some of them appeals to me."
Essentially, I am a reformed man. Think A Clockwork Orange. No, not the movie, where rehabilitation is shown to be a pointless endeavor, but the book it was based upon. Alex becomes and stays a fine fellow. That is what you can all expect from me going forward, dear friends.
@Sheena123 says:
As an example, he started this thread purely for people to get their feelings out about him, but every person that said something about him that he didn’t like, he answered with a snarky comment. His fans also jumping in to attack which secured anyone else from wanting to release any transgressions towards him.
That's an interesting example!
I didn't actually ask him or anything, but I got the impression, from the original post, that this one was an invitation for people to confront him with their opinions of him directly, rather than vague-posting. Kind of a "have at me, bro" type deal.
So people were direct, and he was direct back, right? Totally in line with the point of the thread, I thought.
And I dunno about other people, but me, I only posted my plain opinion of @DarkLordChungus, just like everybody else—and I only did it once. After that all I did was defend the idea that saying an idea isn't great isn't the same as saying a person isn't great (which is a personal belief of mine that got attacked). So... I, at least, didn't attack anybody on this thread. (Edit: Except maybe that one dude who creeped me out so thoroughly all those years ago with the very comments he resurrected—then removed—here. Brrr.) Anybody else? Show of hands?
It's interesting, because there seems to be a vast difference in perception from person to person, just within this thread.
Also: welcome back, Alex.
@DarrenWalker
Astute observation, my dearest friend. That was the point of the thread. In my arrogance, I thought "Let them come at me."
I no longer see things in this manner. I wish you all peace and love.
Thank you.
All the comments from @Sheena123, @SH17, etc. were all comments I made over a year ago (and many other people made, as well) toward this same person and some of his followers. Esp. the part about driving people off the forum. I love you @pmvines but it is ridiculous to keep having the same conversation/ comments about the OP over and over. Who, btw, I am assuming "snuck" back on the site under a new name (not the one I know).
The adage "a leopard doesn't change its spots" seems to apply here so promises of being a changed person ring hollow at best. History is the biggest forecaster of the future, and for at least 1.5 years the behavior has not changed, so . . .
Is it weird that I object to being called a "follower" or a "fan" of a dude I'm neither following nor fanatic about? I mean. Surely it's possible to like somebody (or even just plain not dislike them) without being, I dunno, an apostle or a stalker or something.
@SuperSnuggler2 awe you love me? Yay!! Back at ya ! I hear your point, I just feel there is a place for everyone. This is not an exclusive club. Its open to anybody who wants to join and not everyone has to agree. That's my take on it. There are certainly people I feel should not be here and never should have joined and should never come back. My experience with @DarkLordChungus has not been one that gives me that opinion of him.
@DarrenWalker semantics. Several F words that might apply. And I personally was not even thinking of you.
@pmvines I understand but mine has. As have many others. #sorrynotsorry
@DarkLordChungus I really hope your latest comments are in sincerity. You have a gift of words, and a sense of wittiness to boot. I think it will be just a simple change of direction with those words and wit. I look forward to a changed theme and wish you all the best in your new direction.
I believe everyone has it in them to change for the better when given the opportunity. Including you.
I believe saying someone cannot change and never will after 1.5 years is playing God and I am an atheist. Surprisingly, many of the people who condemn him because he is not their cup of tea are the same people that put the tragedies of their own life on public display and start threads based off it for attention. All of us have a sad story. Problem is, not many have listened to his. He has provided bread crumbs of his difficulties yet no one really comments on that, only when he may taint your constrained views of what the forum should be. I agree with @pmvines—if you don’t like it, ignore it. It is called adulting. He said something that irks you? Move on. If you are that offended pass it on to the moderator. Easy peasy. But coming here to bash him in post after post exhibits the behavior you supposedly condemn. But I guess it is ok if they are doing the bashing and not him. I trust @Sideon on this matter. If you go around zapping everyone because they wear thin on you there would be no one of consequence left. Personally, @Sideon has been a fantastic arbiter and has been more than generous in taking the time to explain why a thread was closed, a comment deleted, or in this case, why mercy and kindness were extended. That doesn’t mean tomorrow things won’t change—it is all up to the person given another chance.