Reading a lot of these forums I'm realizing that there are some conflicts that come up with this platonic cuddling site. I think they're reflective of some of our societal problems in general, so I thought It would be beneficial to make some of those connections.
First of all, if we were in a perfect society, this site wouldn't exist. We'd all be in healthy communities getting lots of platonic touch. Of course in a perfect world we wouldn't need doctors either.
I think the two main phenomena of broken societal relationships that occur here are; many men who are touch deprived, and women who fear for their safety. I see this as two sides of the same coin (for the most part), actually stemming from the marginalization of women, but affecting 'everybody negatively.
For centuries, women have been denied rights, and subjugated to violence and sexual harassment. Men are physically stronger in general and are often more aggressive. Many women experience harassment and/or sexual violence before they are even old enough to have sexual feelings. This means that women often feel unsafe in situations that a man would feel fine in; walking down certain streets at night etc. Women are also practicing their guard at a much earlier age and are dealing with harassment often much more than men realize. If you are a man on this site, consider that point; if you are a woman, consider that men don't realize all that you're going through. I actively seek out learning about the experiences of women, and yet, I am still periodically shown something that makes me realize I still don't know the extent of what some women go through. Because of this marginalization, physical safety and security are often the main concern of women. On a side note I'd like to mention that when I did first have to deal with any form of harassment or unwanted advancement; I noticed that I had learned a lot from watching women tackfully de-escalate such situations.
Men have a completely different set of problems. We develop sexually at a much earlier age in a culture that doesn't give us much guidance in navigating sexual feelings and appropriate behavior. We tend to be touch deprived as well. I remember reading a document written in the thirties advising parents to not touch their boys too much except for "maybe a pat on the head" to avoid to growing up to be "mommas boys", or too emotional. Even if you weren't brought up this way specifically, imagine the effect this sentiment has had through the generations. We are also taught homophobia and thus cut off from a lot of platonic physical contact. Even for myself, I'm an open person, I give all my male friends hugs and have been around a lot of progressive circles, but I can't imagine myself cuddling with another guy Whereas many straight women have no problem cuddling each other. Here are some photos that show how far our society has gone this way in very little time.
http://www.filmsforaction.org/news/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/Women are greatly marginalized as a whole, but there are a few privileges that come with being female. Easier access to contact and affection is one of them. That being said, as many men don't know what it's like to be harassed, many women don't know what it's like to be touch deprived. It's probably one of the reasons suicide rates are much higher for men. It messes with our mental and emotional stability as well as our relationship with sexuality. I've noticed that when I am in a situation where I'm getting a lot of platonic physical touch, I'm not craving sex as much. When I'm not getting platonic touch as much, I crave sex more and have less regard for my emotional safety. At times I believe we as men often violate ourselves without even realizing it due to the effects of touch deprivation.
I think when it comes to this site we have to be patient. If you are a male, I wouldn't expect too much right away. We are fighting an uphill battle against some super ingrained fears and doing so online.... one of the sketchiest mediums of communication available. To be honest, I've had better luck on craigslist than this site for actually ending up with a cuddle buddy. They're actually one and one (over multiple years) but my craigslist buddy came way earlier and ended up being a consistent regular friend. I still think it's worthwhile to be on this site as it is an evolving community and there is little risk simply being on here. It seems good to participate respectfully in the forums and to not give up. If you get frustrated not getting responses, take a break and realize that you never know what other people are going through or what their current situation is. Keep trying when you feel like it and don't have any expectations.
If you're a female, it seems beneficial to have clear boundaries. I'd also advise to think twice before becoming a pro. Realize that there are some serious risks and other aspects to it. I think being a pro, it would be necessary to be highly emotionally available, confident, intuitive, aware, and have an intentional philosophy behind what you're doing. You should also be prepared to work with people who may have specific needs or issues such as ptsd, grieve, injuries etc. Many professionals on here have all this, so if you're still interested, there seems to be a lot of help you can find here getting started.
I hope this also addresses some confusion with professionals. I know that for a guy, it can seem offensive to think of paying someone to cuddle. The thought can give me the feeling that my affection isn't as valuable as theirs, and it can feel wrong that I might have to pay for a necessity such as platonic touch. It's wrong that the need is there, but asking for money to cover your risk and time in addressing a need that you're qualified to address is not wrong. Just as it's wrong that women don't always feel safe, or that they have to deal with being harassed.
I think it's also important address these issues in our physical communities. Try encouraging platonic touch with respectful boundaries and with clear communication. Practice asking people for hugs, or if they want hugs, in such a way that they feel free and safe to say no. Give more people high fives. Try to learn about peoples perspectives and relationships with touch. Try to have some introspection about your own relationship with touch, how it affects your relationships, and how it might be different from other people.
I apologize for the need to at times talk in generalizations. There are women who are touch deprived and men who fear for physical safety, have been harassed and/or gone through sexual abuse. Generalizations are always an issue when addressing societal problems. I also apologize that the binary way I'm discussing gender might be excluding people who are mixed gender, transgender, or gender neutral. I'd love to have your perspective.
I think it would be great to get a lot of perspectives and stories here that might help to enlighten people to some of the differences in experience. It would be helpful though to mostly stick to talking about your own experiences or to ask questions. I'd like us to stay away from talking negatively about individuals or groups of people. Let's be respectful.