New to this.. HELP

snugglelovessnuggleloves
in General

😰 Why does it feel like I've broken some strange unspoken rule by joining this site?
I'm honestly a bit concerned about cuddling strangers during Covid & I'm not sure how to go about screening people to make sure we are safe.
Feeling kinda lost please help!

Comments

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    I presume that you are worried about catching and/or transmitting Covid? I had that in November. The only clue I had was that I couldn't smell ANYTHING. I had a really difficult time getting any provider to give me a PCR test for Covid, so finally around January I took the antibody test which validated my strong suspicions. By that time it was moot. So, my recommendation is to look into smell testing to go right alongside any temperature and health checks that you put your prospects through.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    @snuggleloves welcome to the site! You haven't done anything wrong by joining though I can understand why you might be feeling that way.

    A lot of people are using the site to fulfil a purely social need at the moment rather than a socio-physical one (as in real life meets) so maybe findings people to chat to would help you get used to how the site works, without rushing into a situation that you don't feel completely comfortable in?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @snuggleloves you have done a good thing. Read the FAQ thread at the top of this board, and spend a little time here on the forum. Read the profiles of some highly rated professionals, many of them talk about covid precautions.

    It takes a while to settle in here. Don't try to rush it.

  • [Deleted User]Rocket_Man (deleted user)

    If you are uncomfortable you do not have to cuddle anyone.

  • littermatelittermate
    edited March 2021

    I'm speaking to the part where you @snuggleloves are concerned about being pawed and staying safe that way.

    Yes, @snuggleloves this is out there! It breaks all the taboos of the culture, woot! And yes, screening is a VERY important part of being on here, at least for women. And as an enthusiast you'll probably get ALL kinds of attention at first. I'd encourage you to read some of the other forum threads on screening as a number of us have shared our methods. When I was first on here I didn't really know how to do that, and then realized that I could require a person to trade messages with me until I felt like I had a sense of them, that I could set up a tea in a public place to get a feel for them, that I could decide at any point that I didn't want to move toward cuddling, that I could decide mid-cuddle that I was uncomfortable and leave, etc. I've had very good luck with my in-person experiences but I've had to sift through a lot of messages to find people I felt safe and comfortable with. And these are awesome skills to have and this is a great place to practice them.

    Feel free to PM me if you like if you have any questions and do look up some of the other forum threads that deal with this in-depth. There are really very few female enthusiasts (nonpros) on here and I'd encourage you to learn the ropes and hone your skills of screening and boundary setting and communicating because it's kind of a mecca for opportunities to do that as you find just the right person(s) for you that you feel safe with.

    Trust your hunches. And you have a right to wait and take your time and make it just right for yourself.

    <3

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    Some do virtual sessions online. Of course it's not the same. I do both. I just make sure no one is sick before meeting up with them in person and so far there has been no issues whatsoever. Good luck! Hope you'll find it good on here.

  • [Deleted User]mamabearhugs (deleted user)

    Thank you, @littermate for sharing that! I'll definitely search the threads. I'm new to the site also @snuggleloves and it does seem a little strange, especially some of the messages I have gotten in my first week. But, there have also been some amazing conversations started as well!

  • MarkBPhxMarkBPhx

    Sound advice, as always @littermate

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft
    edited March 2021

    It's one of the cruel ironies of the year, that when everyone is scared and isolated, maybe more in need of a hug and reassuring presence than they have been since childhood, that closeness puts themselves and their community at risk of the very source of the terror. Just hang out and take your time. Enjoy the illustrious personalities on the forums 😊
    You don't HAVE to cuddle with anyone, and you shouldn't unless you feel 110% ready to. I went from cuddling anywhere from 4- 8 people a week, often a few new people included, and now, well, I don't. I don't because I feel a pretty heavy moral obligation, but also because it's an emotionally intensive activity.
    You, and all of us, have broken a very specific and temporary social taboo, but You aren't wrong for needing a cuddle. It's not like you're defiantly opening your night club, populace be damned. There was already a weird taboo about needing love and feeling vulnerable, so that's probably why it feels so whack.

    Ive occasionally met a new cuddler if we could establish a shared value around health and hygiene appropriate for the time. There's an awful lot of people who have been alone in front of a screen in their apartment for a year.

    Ask questions, make sure you feel valued and respected, and that your values align as far as prevention and risk. Again, because I think it's really important to ensure a good experience, don't rush, or let yourself be rushed. Hope you find a good cuddle buddy.

  • littermatelittermate

    @mamabearhugs You'll see it ALL on here. For me it's kinda like baseball....I just wait for MY pitch. You don't have to respond and you don't have to continue to respond if something feels iffy.

    Same offer goes for you to PM me if you need ever.

    Thanks @MarkBPhx :)

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