Anxious

[Deleted User]Deleteddd (deleted user)
in General

I'm so new to this, though I've had my account for a while to 'scope' the place out. Turns out I love it and have cuddled a few times! I was scheduled to meet someone today, we met previously to grab a coffee. I don't host so a hotel was the best bet. The thing is I'm a 21 year old female and have a baby face, most of the people that reach out to cuddle are older men. I have no issues as we all need some hugs and love. My only concern is if anyone else my age has anxiety about the whole meeting up at the hotel with an older man looking illegal. I know it's not, but somehow I feel guilty and shameful anyways. I don't mind meeting in the hotel room one on one. I just think that walking in with an older man only to leave an hour later is grounds for someone to call the police, and I don't want to mistakenly get charged with prostitution. This cuddling is not a well known hobby and is a joke to anyone I tell. I have lots of cozies to give, but I'm a very private, discreet human. I don't like to converse in the outside world, so waltzing into a hotel with an older guy for an hour is stopping me from cuddling, and makes me uncomfortable, though cuddling doesn't! Does anyone else feel this way? And how can I avoid it? Am I a mean person for not wanting to 'look bad?' Do the older men on this site feel the same way walking in with a younger woman? Please be kind I'm new and get anxious, but when I get down to cuddling it all goes away.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]sbcoldguy (deleted user)

    I am a older guy, 67. I have only had one session with a 48 year old. How I handled it was to give my room number so that the cuddler could just come to my room without any concerns. Since you met for coffee before you should be OK. Hope this helps.

  • [Deleted User]Deleteddd (deleted user)

    Yes, this is what I figured. He was very nice, it's just easier to have the room number ready. Usually therapist don't approach their clients in the outside world, so I guess I was thinking it worked the same way. He wanted me to pay for the room, and he handed me a bill to do so, he told me he wanted my name on the room.. which was nice so I could stay there if I wanted too. But it concerned me.

  • littermatelittermate

    I'd be wondering why he didn't want the room registered in his name myself. That seems sorta odd.

  • sean2589sean2589
    edited March 2021

    What @sbcoldguy said is really good. I actually just had my first cuddle session a few weeks ago, and met in a hotel for it. I didn't realize the optics of a man and woman meeting in a hotel for a short period of time, just to then leave. It helped that I had a professional as the cuddler guiding me through how to handle everything. I had booked the room, and then went up to the room for a short time, before texting her the room number. When our session ended, she left first, and then I left and checked out about 10 minutes later.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited March 2021

    @Puppyy I empathize with your query , just am pointing out that you are speaking in the context of a pro/client and there is a process to being a pro on rhe site. You will need to register first to be a pro . I recommend really doing some introspection as to why you want to be a pro and whether or not the personal obstacles you mention are manageable for being a pro cuddler. Good luck

  • UKGuyUKGuy
    edited March 2021

    From what I've heard the police don't prosecute women in this situation, they prosecute the men (the 'John'). So I think the man (assuming you are cuddling a man) is the one who needs to worry more about this.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    @Puppyy, I think one thing you learn and internalize as you get older is that people don’t care as much about you and what you’re doing as you think they do. I don’t say this to be rude, only to assert that the hotel clerk probably doesn’t give a thought as to why you’re there and wouldn’t care if you told him. It might be different if you were bringing multiple men to the hotel in a day or frequenting the same hotel on a regular basis. As long as you have a credit card to swipe for the incidentals and don’t make noise or leave a mess, the hotel will not ask you what you’re doing and why.

    Apart from that, lots of people check into a hotel and then leave an hour later to go to dinner or an event. Even if the desk clerk greets you or asks you questions, I assure you they are only minimally registering your actions.

    If I must explain myself to a hotel clerk for some reason, I tell them that I am using the room to have a meeting, which is true and as much as they need to know.

    @sbcoldguy gives good advice about communicating the room number via text and @sean2589’s advice about entering and leaving separately may alleviate some embarrassment. It will probably also be appreciated by this particular partner. Asking you to book the room in your name almost certainly means that he is married and hiding his cuddling from his wife. That doesn’t mean he is a bad person, but it’s better to be clear eyed about such things so that you can make informed choices.

    Tl;dr, there is nothing wrong or illegal about renting a hotel room. As long as you act that way and don’t make trouble, the staff will follow suit.

    All that said, sometime when you’re feeling strong, you may want to probe those shame feelings. Having some embarrassment about people knowing your private business is normal, but feeling shame about an activity is not. What is it that you’re beating yourself up about?

  • waynewvwaynewv

    It sounds like to me, maybe the guy is married and he didn't want the bill to show up on his credit card statement-?
    I have only met up for 1 cuddle at a motel, which I paid myself, I would never ask a Pro or a none pro to pay for the room.
    I could see where the Pro would book the room, then have a NO show, I have heard of that happening.
    I did think about how it looked when I got the room, the lady was near my age, but I would assume if she had been very young, then that might have been a red flag to the motel staff. Keep safe, remember the old saying saying about, your gut feelings.

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