How would you feel .... if you recognized yourself as fodder for the forum

cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
edited April 2021 in General

How would you feel if you recognized yourself being described on the forum ... neither praised nor disparaged.. you are described blandly .. nondescript

Perhaps you are contacted by another user , your messages clicked, and you both decided to meet up in public for a pre-cuddle screening . You talked and got along , then parted company excited, or not very excited, and you agreed to check schedules and get back to one another.

Then you recognize your potential cuddle partner started a discussion thread about a person they just met . They described a public meet and felt wishy-washy about meeting this person again . There is “ oh gee, I met a cuddler and ......(...........) and also ( ................) and (.....) what does everyone think ?”

Well , you are the subject , you realize because you just met them , but no identities are revealed . You are neither described badly nor described as a dream cuddler everyone should meet..... middle of the road

I see these threads started all the time.

How would you feel?

Comments

  • KariMeiSnugglesKariMeiSnuggles

    I wouldn’t mind personally. Cuddling is such a personal experience you could be a 10 with one person and a 5 with another because it’s all about how you and that person connect.

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    If it was neutral feedback I'm not sure I'd be very bothered, if it was negative I'd be a little put out.

    I wouldn't see the other person again regardless of their post, because it would mean they didn't feel able to communicate their thoughts and feeling with me and would rather ask uninvolved parties for their opinions. I don't want to spend time with someone who feels they can't talk to me.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    Isn’t it said somewhere that only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about ? Or something like that. Carry on 🤔

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    I'd be fascinated. The opportunity to see myself discussed by people who don't know it's me? Man, I'd be all over that! Getting to see what I look like from a different perspective is an opportunity I'm pretty much always up for.

    Of course, I'm kinda secure emotionally. Odds of me getting hurt because somebody had a neutral or even negative impression of me? Low!

    And I can always use tips on how to do better.

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    I think I'd find it kind of funny in an awkward way. :joy: I'd probably end up contributing to the thread with some crap like, "Yeah, that @squeakytoy, she sure is a suspicious character, but I can't ban her for some reason."

  • pmvinespmvines

    I think anytime someone starts a thread for the sole purpose of talking about another member, whether it be to piss and moan about how they didn't get their way or to praise how amazing they are , is just plain tacky and immature. But this site does seem to attract a lot of tacky and immature people.

  • UCpaaHVg6u0UCpaaHVg6u0

    @cuddlerforu24 I think it's up to you to decide how much power you want to give another person's opinion. My natural tendency is to feel embarrassment, shame, anger. I therefore strive to interrupt that impulse with intention. I admire people who say that it doesn't bother them. They seem worth listening to, unlike the ones who don't bother to rate you on the things you know are valuable.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If you know the person being talked about is you then it would seem to be a betrayal of trust. I think one might wonder who the poster is messaging off the forum in private messages and perhaps naming names and possibly trashing to others. I believe it is a lack of respect. Hailing someone else in a positive light is always good because it builds them up, but anything less than that needs to remember the mantra if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. Each of us has had moments where we regret that mantra wasn’t followed and someone was hurt by our words. Every single one of us...

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I’ve talked anonymously about some of those I’ve cuddled with and I’ve seen myself namelessly referred to in threads (though never by anyone I’ve had a session with who is active on the forum). I’m not bothered by when it personally happens to me, but it’s got me thinking. Would these threads be made if we thought to seek permission from the person who is intended to be its subject, before we posted it? Probably not, unless it was to offer praise.

    Like @pmvines I think it’s fairly tacky when this is done and I don’t get it. The person who needs the feedback has the opportunity to learn nothing when that feedback is just sounded off into the forum (that they probably don’t follow or regularly check to begin with).

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    I don't know. I don't like being the center of attention...even if identities aren't revealed...yeah I'm weird. But the fact that I'll know the thread is about me would make me like run from it. So probably wouldn't read a thread about this unidentified person everyone is talking about lol. Or I'll read every word but pretend I know nothing and saw nothing and not post in the thread. Just spy on the people talking about me lol

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    @squeakytoy

    I think I'd find it kind of funny in an awkward way. :joy: I'd probably end up contributing to the thread with some crap like, "Yeah, that @squeakytoy, she sure is a suspicious character, but I can't ban her for some reason."

    Lol yeah that would be fun to say in your position here. And you know what I just realized we joined at the same time and I was thinking you've been here a looong time that's why everyone knows you so well and you know how to do quotes and spoilers...but no like you're just more computer smart than me. Lol. Not feeling bad...ok maybe just a little.

  • VirynViryn

    I think I'd reply on the thread without indicating that I was the one they met. Something along the lines of "if you don't feel fully comfortable, that's ok. Cuddling is meant to put you at ease and not have any anxiety about the situation. If you don't get a good vibe from them it's always safer to trust your gut."

    This way it would show them I'm not upset, and that I respect their feelings and choice in the matter. In a situation such as meeting someone new for cuddling, there are so many things that could go wrong, so don't take chances with your safety, ya know?

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Catloaf I believe it's just passive aggressiveness . That being said, when someone is talking about how amazing their cuddle is , usually it means they are talking about me. But I still think it is tacky and immature , no matter how honest they are being about how amazing I am 😉

  • [Deleted User]DeadGirlWalking (deleted user)

    @pmvines 'tacky and immature' is my entire aesthetic 🤣

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    If they are truly neutral and honestly seeking advice not just similar points of view to verify their personal leanings, I would probably agree with @DarrenWalker. Intrigued and curious. Although I would also think that I probably wouldn't see that person again because my trust/respect had been compromised.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Awe @BuggleBear you make tacky look good

  • MaullySterlingMaullySterling
    edited April 2021

    If it's the thread I'm thinking of, wasn't that a connection made through a dating app? So the person wouldn't see it anyway. It seemed a strange ask, anyway, though.

    Generally, I wouldn't care. If "bland", then I definitely didn't click with them, and no loss, I wasn't going to see them again. There are worse things.

    My focus turns to the poster, not their subject. What are you getting from this, that's filling your needs more than direct conversation with the person you're talking about? Were you the middle child?
    Stuff like that.

    About the person I first referenced; I think maybe they wanted to do an intro post, that wasn't "hey I'm new" followed by the usual stuff that's answered in FAQ.

    Hands @pmvines a bucket of popcorn, and @BuggleBear a blanket and the remote

    nods agreement to @creedhands

  • [Deleted User]squeakytoy (deleted user)

    @Amortentia Don't feel bad, I only know some of this stuff because I'm a colossal nerd. It's so funny, I'd actually assumed you'd been here a lot longer than me as well - I had no idea we joined around the same time :open_mouth:

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