Considerations of going Pro on CuddleComfort

nurturingmannurturingman
in Pro Cuddling

I'm sorry if this has already been covered, but after running various keyword searches for 15 minutes, I give up! 😅

I've been a member of CuddleComfort for about eight months, and since becoming vaccinated have cuddled with a handful of people I've met here. My qualifications include the time I've spent learning about cuddling, the five-star reviews I've gotten from cuddle partners, and the Cuddlist training I just completed. I'm now considering going Pro on this site, and I'm weighing the pros and cons. Here's my list so far:

Pros (no pun intended)
* Prospective cuddle partners might be more likely to see me as someone serious about keeping it professional.
* I would be the only male pro in my area.
* I could make money doing something I find rewarding.
* I could recoup the money I have spent on training.

Cons
* I would have to pay $19.99 a month (not a big deal considering this is a special offer for male cuddlers, which may or may not be discriminatory against female cuddlers, but there you have it).
* I might lose out on cuddling with people free of charge (though I suppose I could just not charge them, since I'm free to choose how much I charge, and I won't have to have to pay a percentage to CuddleComfort).
* One local male pro (who has since been banned) told me it was nearly impossible to make any money as a male pro.

If I've truly listed all the pros and cons, I think it would be worth it to go pro as long as I get paid for at least one or two cuddles a month. What do you think? Are there other pros and cons I should consider?

Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2021

    I would guess you have already read my post on how to make lots of money as a cuddle professional, but if you haven't .... take the style with a pince of salt - it wasn't aimed at people like you - but I stand by the content.

    None of your pros are any good because there is only one possible pro: you really want to do this. If you have that, no other pros are required. If you don't, you're wasting your time.

    If you really care about the $19.99 then for the love of god don't do this - you have far more important things to worry about. (The pricing structure is different, but not discriminatory. Mark made a post about it once. Male professionals cost the site admin time and effort, and the site rightly wants paid for that. But the commission structure doesn't work because they are usually idiots who don't get any clients at all.)

    Losing out on enthusiast cuddle buddies is a real issue. There is a rule about this for professionals, although I can't remember exactly how it goes. Insofar as it is a sacrifice, I think you should just take it on the chin. As my old oppo Big Ed used to say, 'You've got to take the package, Duncan, you've got to take the package.'

    A con you haven't mentioned, but some people would, is judgement from friends, family or colleagues. I wouldn't care about that, and to be honest I don't understand why anybody would, but it is a thing that some people would consider.

    No man, as far as we know, has made any money being a professional. It follows as a matter of logic that you could be the first. There are hundreds of women making a little money out of it, and a few tens who scrape a living from cuddling, so to suggest that a man can't make anything at all is obviously silly. What your local colleague meant was that he couldn't make any money out of it, and if he got himself banned I suspect he was so far away from the prospect that he couldn't even see it.

    I could definitely make some money from cuddling, even though I don't cuddle men. I mean if I had the energy and the inclination, which I don't. It would be a lot of hard work, and depends on being in a suitable place. Just remember that making a success of it has nothing to do with cuddling. (I mean you've got to be a good cuddler, that's a given, but that's not the hard part and I'm sure you have it covered.) Success will be entirely down to marketing. And marketing starts with the market. Who is going to pay you for a cuddle?

    So where are you? Phoenix .. right, well my perception of Phoenix is that there is no shortage of people with more money than sense, so if all else fails you could try them. Retired widows; lonely middle aged people in loveless marriages; nervous, curious young men... You could start by offering a free service one afternoon a week at a suitable care home or something - get yourself on the local news. I would recommend a simple website, just so you have somewhere to direct people to. Cross link to your CC profile, obviously. Try dating apps, either illicitly or pay for local adverts. Pay per click is probably too expensive for the beginning. Word of mouth is the most effective route.

    As a tiny detail, I would suggest removing the following fields from your profile, they won't help anybody to decide to pay you to cuddle. Preferred Age, Ethnicity, Religion, Children. Dogs should have a capital D, also capitals for the TV show words, and edit your job to something simpler and more accessible: it helps people to categorise you, which is the human process that this section is supposed to help with. Is psy-fi a sub-genre I haven't heard of?

    None of your photos are ideal as a main photo. I mean in a marketing context, obviously they are all great photos in themselves. They are all too close or too far away. Also smiling is not recommended. There is a reason that models are never smiling.

    As for the text, I think you've got to give people a reason to pay you. What are the advantages of a professional cuddler over an enthusiast? Spell it out.

    Offer a money back guarantee. If you are not satisfied with the cuddle, then at the end you can have your money back less expenses.

    Anyway, I am reminded of the story of the great writer who was invited to give a lecture on writing. He stood up and said, 'How many of you are really serious about becoming writers?' The whole room put up their hands. He continued, 'Well then, why aren't you at home writing?' and sat down.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited May 2021

    Yes, @CuddleDuncan , I read your post and commented on it a couple of weeks ago, thank you. Here I am only asking if there are any considerations to changing one’s account from regular to Pro other than those I listed.

    The one consideration you added is judgment from friends, family or colleagues. Switching my account type to Pro wouldn’t make much difference unless I thought people would judge me more harshly for charging money than for not. I’m not concerned about that, but thank you for supplying it as a consideration.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2021

    Well then just go for it, man! 🤗

    There's no downside. You can revert back any time.

  • Bella_SeraBella_Sera

    @nurturingman, I’m not sure whether the male pro-cuddler contract is substantially different from the female, but we ladies are not allowed to charge below $40/hr, FYI. It’s worth looking into.

    We have been given the green light to VERY SELECTIVELY cuddle for free or trade, but these circumstances must be very rare and very clear from the first interaction. I generally reserve free sessions for cuddling other pros.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    It has been brought to my attention by a well-wisher that I may have been a bit of an arse in that long post, so I'm sorry about that. It's too late to edit, so for the avoidance of doubt I stand by the ideas but not the tone.

    In previous lives I did know something about marketing in general and websites in particular, and I haven't forgotten all of it.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited May 2021

    Yeah, I'm sure you meant well, but there were a lot of contradictions in your reply, including the fact that you said "No man, as far as we know, has made any money being a professional" after you wrote a post about how to make a ton of money as a male professional. I don't know who the "we" are that you were referring to, but I can point you to others who know of male cuddlers who have made money as professionals (see the video below for one).

    Also, no offense, but from what you've said, you've never had a pro account on CuddleComfort, so you're not really in a position to respond to a question aimed at cuddlers who have pro accounts here.

    I wasn't asking for a critique of my current profile, but as I said, I'm sure you meant well. Some of your suggestions I agree with, such as that none of my photos are ideal as a main photo, and some of them I disagree with, such as "smiling is not recommended." Most of the pro cuddlers I've seen smile in their photos, and some even smile showing teeth (see https://cuddlist.com/james/ for one). I'm still just trying to "design" my main photo (clothing, location, pose, angle), and I plan to put off going pro until I post it.

    I have already had some ideas of introductory offers and media campaigns. If and when I am able to get companies and media to run with my ideas, I'll post links to whatever is published.

    🤗 Virtual hug to @CuddleDuncan 🤗

    Back to members of CuddleComfort who now have or once had pro accounts here, can you think of any other pros or cons to going pro on CuddleComfort? (Not going pro in general, but having a Pro account on this website.)

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I would say having photos of you smiling is a must. This job is about being friendly and showing affection. Having photos where you look pissed or somber don’t paint that picture. Smiling is incredibly important! That as well as having pictures showing how happy and exciting you are! Having that spunky “I’m always gleeful” type look is something I find a lot of cuddlers want. They feed off of that and want to surround themselves with someone upbeat. Smile. Always try to smile lol

    For positives on being a pro on this site, I get a lot of amazing cuddlers and I love this job. Honestly, when you have a respectful cuddler you connect with and have an absolute smashing time snuggled into, it’s such a good feeling. It makes it even better when they leave and send you a message a couple hours or even a day later saying how they are still so relaxed and on cloud nine. It’s an absolutely spectacular vibe that pushes me to want to do this forever lol

    A major con to this is how easy it is for a banned user to come back and haunt you. You have a prospective cuddler that seems respectful but when you get to booking an appointment, they ask really sexual, uncomfortable questions like cuddling nude, or how much extra for sexual favours or wearing lingerie. Or asking if i can cuddle in a bikini in a hot tub. They get banned (obviously) but then they sign back in under a different name and try to book you again and waste your time, making you think they are someone else. This is why getting a picture is so important. Just make sure you put a lot of work into vetting every single prospective cuddler.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2021

    @nurturingman that video has been up since 2016. I wish somebody had mentioned it to me before. Even he only claims one client a week. If you know of other men who've made any kind of success of it please post links.

    I've never been a professional cuddler, although it's been suggested quite a number of times and I've thought about it a lot. I wish there was somebody who was doing it successfully on these forums, but there isn't. I wish one of the successful professional cuddlers would write a proper step by step guide on how to become a successful cuddler, but as far as I know they haven't.

    For clarity, smiling is only not recommended for the main photo. Definitely have smiles in some of the others!

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @CuddleDuncan I love a lot of what you write and the answers you give to help this community. I’m very happy that you’re here and able to clearly clarify things so others can understand but I really need you to tell me why it’s not recommended to have your main picture be a smiling one. I know in Canada and the states, any entrepreneur putting themselves out there always have a smiling picture front and center, be it a lawyer, plumber, painter, politician, florist. Having a smiling photo is the main thing I notice.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited May 2021

    @CuddleDuncan I didn't remember that he claimed he had only one client a week; I'd have to watch it again. Still, even if that is the case, that is a kind of success. I cannot imagine cuddling very many clients a week anyway. I don't see cuddling becoming a full-time job for me, nor am I looking to change professions.

    I've never been a professional cuddler, although it's been suggested quite a number of times and I've thought about it a lot.

    Someone who serves such delicious home-cooked meals that people say they should open a restaurant is in no position to tell people how to make a ton of money as a professional chef. 😝

    I wish one of the successful professional cuddlers would write a proper step by step guide on how to become a successful cuddler, but as far as I know they haven't.

    Well, again, it doesn't mean you should write one. 😉

    Seriously, though, a Google search of 'how to make money as a professional male cuddler' came up with some informative results for me just now. Kyle Hoffman, who I've known about for several months now, has an informative YouTube channel and website, https://www.cuddlingandcoaching.com/about. I don't know that he's written "a proper step by step guide," but if you watch his videos and read his blog posts you'll learn a lot (I'm speaking in the general "you"). There might not be one singular, tell-all publication out there, but there are all kinds of trainings and resources available for people who want them.

    Anyway, I'm really not asking for coaching on making money as a pro. I'm just asking pros about their experiences having a pro account on this website.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2021

    @Sheena123 that's very kind, thank you. :) Means a lot coming from you.

    Smiling photos are the standard default normal for what everybody thinks is a good photo, and so small businesses or freelancers who don't have marketing experts very often use such photos.

    However, having smiling photos in marketing materials gives the best results in some circumstances, but not others. A simple example is undertakers: a smiling undertaker is not a great look!

    Some serious research has been done on dating profiles. On heteronormative sites women with smiling primary photos get more responses, but men with smiling primary photos get fewer. The best results for men were obtained by not even looking at the camera at all, but looking out of shot. Think haughty/proud, or windswept & interesting.

    The optimum number of photos for a dating site is 5-7. If you look at my set you will see they are mostly smiling. However the one that gives the best response rate, both on dating sites and here, is the one I have as my main photo now. That's all a few years old now, but I doubt it's changed.

    The best plan of course is to test different pictures: leave one up for say, exactly a week and then try another and see which gets better results. Don't change anything else at all.

    @nurturingman I just did that exact search now and it didn't bring up anything worthwhile on p1 for me. Search results are specific to the searcher, and my being in the UK could be enough to bury the good results that you have found. (I even use google.com as my default search to alleviate that particular problem.)

    I'm looking forward to reading your guide on how to become a successful male cuddler, once you have completed the transition and had a bunch of clients.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    Thanks for the vote of confidence, @CuddleDuncan . I’ll keep you posted!

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @CuddleDuncan well, I’m certainly not an undertaker!! Lol 😂
    I’ve actually had quite a few people tell me they didn’t like any of the photos I had where I wasn’t smiling except for one. All the cuddlers I’ve talked with during sessions preferred me smiling.

    Myself, as a woman, I strongly dislike photos of men where they aren’t smiling. A smile is the first thing I notice. Anything else looks either frightening or off putting for me. Personally... if they’re doing a photo shoot and they have a photo they love where they are looking off in the distance knowingly or whatever, that’s fine. But art and photography is subjective. If you have a few photos up and the majority are of you not smiling, that’s off putting.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    Thanks for your responses, @Sheena123 . I’m happy to hear how great it can be and sad to hear how lousy it can be. At least the good outweighs the bad. I’ll continue to be careful vetting prospective cuddlers.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    P.S. @CuddleDuncan I finally realized the source of your confusion — I misspelled sci-fi as psy-fi.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @nurturingman aha! The funny thing is that it turns out there really is a thing called psy-fi - it's a "Psychedelic music and art gathering" in the Netherlands.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @CuddleDuncan A psychedelic music and art gathering in the Netherlands? Sign me up!

  • DavidJHDavidJH

    Hey @nurturingman, I'm not a pro but when I look for female pros to cuddle with, my highest priority is that they smile. If they look angry, sad, or manipulative, It's an imediate pass for me. So as a "Profesional" Pro seeker, I say SMILE BIG and SINCERE! Good luck!!

  • DavidJHDavidJH

    This is a nice community

  • DavidJHDavidJH

    Hey @nurturingman, I just read @CuddleDuncan 's reason for males not smiling and it makes sense in general, and I may take it if I try to go pro later, but I looked at your profile and (granted I'm straight, and maybe not the best judge in this case, but) I think it looks great!

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    Thanks for your comments, @DavidJH , and welcome to the cuddle community. 😊

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