Self touch and care?

b0nfireb0nfire
in General

What are y’all’s favorite methods for self care when it’s not possible to cuddle with others?

I joined CC fairly recently, and I know many of y’all found creative ways to address your physical touch needs during this pandemic. I’ve had a couple cancellations back to back in the last couple of days after a week of wonderful cuddle connections and I guess I’m just feeling a little blue. I’ve seen a few articles about the benefits of self touch (in the non-sexual sense) and am curious about y’all’s experiences with it.

Keep it PG, if you can – I’m not trying to get myself or anyone else kicked off this site 😂

Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Lol silly 😝

    Self care for me would be spoiling myself with a delicious meal & comfort like watching a good show / movie /& if I have the opportunity, snuggling up to the cutest Russian blue & British short hair ever 💕

  • b0nfireb0nfire

    @cuddles_ndream But how can you possibly cuddle up with the cutest Russian Blue when he’s at my house and we’ve not met? 🤔

  • [Deleted User]Serendipity7 (deleted user)

    Awwwwweh how cute <3 <3

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Hahaha 😅 wow @b0nfire 🌌 ♥️ ♥️

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited June 2021

    We need to meet than & your Russian blue needs to meet my Russian Blue & British Shorthair … they are both sweethearts 💕 both very loving 🥰 🥰 … the R.b. She’s more laid back / chill / & likes to cuddle up, the B.S. she’s loving as well but very upbeat / playful / not shy at all & always up for fun & she’s a foodie just like her dad 😛

    Edit - here they are 😊☺️

  • b0nfireb0nfire

    @cuddles_ndream My boy is currently dramatically howling downstairs because everyone has gone to their bedrooms for the night and he knows someone will come running to check on him if he sounds distressed enough. 😂 Too smart for his own good. Very loving, but oddly suspicious of men for some reason.

    Your cats sound like sweeties and it looks like I’ll be moving to your neck of the woods soon, so we should definitely meet up!

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Hahaha he sounds wayyy too smart !!! The older girl she’s wayyy more independent & does things on her own terms … the younger one she will follow you around , wants to always play, & her favorite thing in the world is eating lol … if you’re prepping food in the kitchen she will stand between your legs & just hope a piece of food drops to the floor lol …

    Awww nice !! Can’t wait 😄

  • MandoManiaMandoMania

    The Casino helps. Never had a cancelation and every time I finally escape I feel overly touched. So many passionate hugs, so many arms wrapped tightly around my waist, so many hands touching my back pockets. So much touching even my debit cards get some action. Such focused touching should be illegal. After washing off that always dependable feeling of being overly touched and border line violated, the last thing I want is more touch. And that my friend will fix the itch. For quite awhile. 💯

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Did you neutered him? As far as the the older one she’s spayed, but thinking of not going threw with it with the younger one

  • b0nfireb0nfire

    @MandoMania Lol sounds like quite the rush! I’ve always been too broke to even consider going to a casino, and gambling is illegal in the state where I live, so it’s always been off my radar. Though I’ve found out recently I’m an accidental maven at blackjack, and I’ve always known I’m a “One more drink – this story’s getting good!” kind of person, so I’m sure I’m exactly the kind of patron a casino would want.

    @cuddles_ndream They’re too cute! Give them both a snuggle for me, if they’ll let you. My guy was already neutered when we found each other, but having volunteered at a humane society shelter for many years, I recommend spaying/neutering to everybody unless you’re ready for the responsibility of a whole lot of kittens. Even if people want to adopt them, they can’t be separated from their mom for several weeks, and they can be quite a handful. Also dealing with a cat in heat is soooo annoying, in my opinion lol

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    Teal Swan has a cool free meditation called "From Loneliness to Connection" that's so close to being a cuddle that I could see someone taking it as one.

  • GentleMan1111GentleMan1111

    I just get wasted.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @b0nfire lololol yesss when the older one was in heat forget about it!! & you’re right the responsible thing to do is to get them spayed / neutered unless someone is truly willing to put in the work, be responsible with everything that comes with it, & at the same time there are soo many cats needing a home so yes I agree : )

  • b0nfireb0nfire
    edited June 2021

    @GentleMan1111

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    My self-care pretty much involves making sure I get enough sleep, eating when I'm hungry, drinking when I'm thirsty and keeping doctor's appointments.

  • BabichevBabichev

    Once upon a time I was supposed to get a massage and the massage therapist bailed on me at the last minute. I was tired and achy and so I sat in a warm bath for a bit and after I got out, I got a bottle of lotion and proceeded to give myself a massage. I started at my feet, worked my way up my legs. I gave myself a good head massage. My favorite thing is to put my hands over my temples, fingers pointed towards the ceiling, and then push my hands towards the ceiling so it stretches the skin over my temples in that direction. It feels great. I massaged my neck, shoulders, arms, hands, as much of my back as I could reach. I was very thorough and it felt great.

    One thing I’ve discovered (through a Canadian physiotherapist friend) is how great putting a gentle but firm stretch on the skin can feel. If a body part feels achy, I put my hand on the skin over it (NO oil or lotion) and put a sustained stretch on the skin for a minute or two. It feels great and doesn’t cause any irritation like pushing into sore spots can do.

    I’m a big proponent of self-massage.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited June 2021

    My favourite forms of self care include making a healthy home cooked meal, a nap with the cat, and going for my semi-daily walks. The most important thing I do as far as self care though for the last 1.5 years is make sure I take my SSRI at the same time, every morning. Otherwise my mood is off balance and my depression is off the rails. I feel like I’ve got “me” back when I’m on this medication, instead of the moody parts of me that I and others find hard to deal with.

    I love self touch. My favourite thing to do is stroke my arms and my shoulders gently when I’m feeling not enough or unworthy. I hug and cradle myself if I’m upset, and I might also have a good cry with that (“Okay, we’ll make space to cry for x amount of time, and then we need to go and do the laundry”). I like to call it “mothering”.

    My dearly departed grandfather (who is a big inspiration for why I continue to pro cuddle) was very much a cuddly kind of man. One thing he always did for me or my mum when we’d be upset or unable to sleep is he would take his index finger and thumb, place each one over the eyelids, and gently, gently extend them out and repeat, giving you a soothing eye rub. When I am in the throes of a manic depressive episode, doing this act on myself is my godsend and has the added benefit of completely refocusing where my thoughts are. I can be taken from anguish to bliss just by even placing my fingertips gently over my eyelids.

    Self touch is magical to me.

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    My favorite technique to use on virtual sessions is the Butterfly Hug. You can probably find video for how to do it, it is backed by science to mimic the feeling of closeness, it's a tool used in EMDR. That used in conjunction with eye gazing can be very powerful and intimate.

  • CanyonrunnerCanyonrunner

    If I had a technique that replaced actual physical contact, I would not have signed up with this website.

    Instead, I am throwing myself into the construction project that we are doing for the non-profit I created. If I am not at my paying job, I am on the construction site busting my butt until I am a sweaty, aching mass of knotted pain. The other day it was really too hot for me to be working, much less working alone, but there I was. Part of my reason for throwing myself physically at this was to avoid the thoughts of the great horned owl I had to euthanize the night before, a gorgeous bird that was so defiant despite the overwhelming injuries of being hit by a car. I was trying to horse something into position and it was too much, though I would not admit it. Frustration built and built until I just sat down in the sawdust and dirt in utter frustration. I tried deep breathing and relaxing, but things welled up in me and spilled over. But even that failed me. I could not break the drought with a single tear. I heard myself blurt out, "I cannot even cry right!"

    A hug or a cuddle will not fix any of the 99 problems I face daily. But it might be enough to stave off the burn-out that we all face. That's why I am here, despite how there is no one else active close by. I lurk and read posts, trying to glean a shred of positive energy where I can find it. The good you are posting, I guess, is what I am using as self care.

  • [Deleted User]ewe (deleted user)

    @Canyonrunner
    that is so painfully beautiful

    if I was closer I would be happy meeting you.

    Sometimes I just stay in bed, looking out my window, listening to birds singing outside.
    I usually squeeze a cushion with my both arms to my chest.
    I try to practice mindfulness, so just to be fully present with myself for a while.

  • CanyonrunnerCanyonrunner

    Thank you, ewe. I appreciate that.

    At least there is a positive aspect...I am getting stronger and more physically fit!

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    I struggle with this, too. Some somatic experiencing therapy techniques help. Patting your arms, squeezing yourself in a hug like embrace, belly breaths. Self massage is also good, as mentioned previously. Especially feet since they are farthest from your brain and it creates a full body sensation whilst touched.

  • desi_babedesi_babe

    Volunteering at local animal shelters! Some even have "adopt a dog for a day" programs which are a lot of fun on a nice day. I have friends who walk dogs using Rover or Wag! as well.

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