@Sheena123
So I see no difference in someone paying for a therapist, a dentist, a cuddler, a mechanic, a meal at a restaurant or any other commodity that comes with a price.
A therapist has extensive training specifically to help people with their mental and emotional problems and, at least in theory, is providing a lot of value that you can't get from just venting to friends and family. Chatting with a friend is not remotely equivalent to seeing a therapist.
And in fact if someone was lonely and looking for a friend, a therapist would actually make a very poor substitute!
Although in theory some cuddle training exists, virtually zero cuddlers in my experience have taken advantage of it, and regardless it has exactly nothing to do with what I want out of a cuddle.
The reason I'm willing to pay a cuddler is not that pro cuddlers offer some kind of value added service above what cuddling with a friend would provide. In fact to the extent they think they do, it's actually a bad thing. For instance take this line from @Mare_Bear
Everything is lead by the client's wants and needs and I hold them, I am on the whole time while they relax.
This is basically the opposite of what I want out of a cuddle. I don't want my cuddle buddy to be "on", I want her to relax and enjoy herself.
I’d like to say for cuddling being seen as something that was always done as a free expression of mutual affection, that can be said for so many other things.
Yep. Like food, for instance. We all used to grow our own food, nowadays we pay somebody to do it for us.
@CuddleWho
Actually yes I absolutely do as well as other many other pros here. I keep my rates fair but once someone has become a regular and I know they will not be boundary pushers and that they are respectful I have no problem offering an even nicer discounted rate. I'd rather keep the amazing repeat client who has never been a problem over the brand new client who pushes himself on you and doesn't understand the meaning of NO and platonic only.
The risk plays a very small part when I consider my rates. I have overhead that plays a much larger part. Wear and tear on my car, gas, fees to the site, copious amounts of bedding laundry for when I do host at my home, and the always fun, taxes from being self employed. Lastly I need to make sure I'm paying myself for my time and services.
This. All of this. 💗
I would like to offer a different perspective. This may be more appropriate for a different post, so please forgive me if it's out of place. Some of us are on low fixed incomes because of having a dissability and being unable to wfind employment. While I do respect the position of professional cuddlers and why they charge as the do, Some simply cannot afford this and still have needs. I have been very fortunate, having veen able to have a few sessions with professionals through saving up birthday gifts from family to pay for them, but others may not be so blessed.
@hifigeorge I have seen other disabled people on here in the same boat. I would hope, and I think I am right on this, that if you reached out to some of the more established pros on here and explained your situation that they would come up with some sort of compromise or reduced rate. I don’t mind paying full bore if someone who needs it and is not as fortunate as myself gets a break.
I'm just a pro here and one other place. I do have some that are just for cuddling though and are not clients. So call it as me expanding my cuddles.
@hifigeorge
Asking for a disability or hardship discount never hurts IMO. The worst they can say is no ( hopefully in a professional manner ) the best outcome is negotiating a rate that works for both of you. Most pros here would be happy to discuss discounts for these very scenerios. 😊
if I had a website that granted permission for cuddlers to charge , I would waive commissions for sessions with disabled clients or disadvantaged. But I would want the savings passed to the client .
This is an interesting topic to think about and I spent some time pondering. As someone who can and does afford the pros, as others stated, it's not because they provide anything ground breaking though I am sure many of them do work on techniques to improve the experiences they provide. I also don't think it's as simple as "well therapists get paid so I should too". Let's be honest, at it's simple core, we are willing to pay because we want touch, and we don't want to have to do the rain dance and write the century's best romantic poem to get it (and many of us here are terrible at that anyways).
As someone who paid for cuddling, I never thought "why are they getting paid, they are just coming over cause they need cuddles too" as another commenter suggested, though there was a girl I cuddled who probably would qualify and half way through the session, I would usually turn around and give her a light massage as thanks. It makes me feel good to put a smile on someone else's face, even if I am paying them.
Is it fair? probably not. I wanted to be a professional cuddler and was turned down for being male. Understandably, probably 90% of the site's viewers are male so the chances I even find someone are slim. That's just how it goes. Women in general have a lot more ways to seek what they need. Their other female friends are more likely to sit and hug/cuddle with them on a bad day but there are very few men who would go to their bro and say "I just got dumped on, let's snuggle to a movie and eat chocolate".
If affordability is the issue, talk to the ladies in the area, find one who you feel comfortable with and explain your situation or work out a deal. If this is something you need, then budget for it. put aside 5 dollars/10 dollars a paycheck and in a few months, you got yourself 1 hours worth of cuddling and I am sure there is someone out there willing to add on extra with the situation explained.
If this is simply complaining because no one actually wants to cuddle you regardless (and I say you to the general population here and not OP), then you might be coming on too strong, too desperate, maybe things you say creeps a cuddler out. I would reflect on how you approach and this form would probably be really happy to help review your messages to make sure you get a better experience. It helps everyone in the long run. Woman are more likely to stay with appropriate messages, and we all get the cuddling experience we hope to have.
We have all been there, the need to have someone to talk to or cuddle with and yes, on some level it sucks that we have to pay to get that attention when others seem to get it freely and easily. But most of us are not them, and this site is not for them. While there is no sign that says "Only socially awkward people allowed", the truth is, that's generally who find themselves on sites like these. I've embraced it. I know I am. I am not the kind of guy to walk into a bar and walk out with numbers or a willing partner, and you know what? That's okay. There are women here who embrace that side of the population, and yes for a fee. But a fee I would gladly pay over the frustrations of feeling lonely.
@ggiaquin that was really nicely put !! 👏👏 Also, I love your tattoo! 🌸
@ggiaquin, , link well said! I think you've caught a lot of the angles here.
Ughhh I'm so frustrated. I want a massage sooo bad and I can't afford one. It's not fair. Why can't people just give massages for free. How can people justify charging upwards of 75-100 to rub my back??! And I want a manicure, acrylic nails $75?? Why does that cost so much? I could buy supplies to do it myself much cheaper. I guess I need to go talk to my therapist about it. Oh, nevermind, I can't afford that either. Why won't she just let me call or text her at no charge so I can get this off my chest?? It's not like she actually has to do anything, just listen and say "uh huh, I see..." every once in a while. How can she justify charging me so much money for her time? Ugh. So unfair.
Also as far as the pricing goes, blame the pioneers who established this as a profession for the pricing ranges - go Google Samantha Hess and Jean Franzblau if you're interested in how this became a chargeable service.
I see the OP’s post from a more benign perspective. He is expressing that this used to be a site where people would sign up and exchange cuddles without exchanging money. Back in the day there were no pro cuddlers and plenty of enthusiasts to go around. In my personal experience it was a lot easier to make a connection and just cuddle. But little by little the site became more pro oriented and at this point is becoming almost exclusively a Pro cuddler site with very few enthusiasts to make this work as it was intended in the beginning. From this point of view I don’t see or hear an attack on pros as some have expressed, nor do I see an animosity toward the money being charged by some pros. In my opinion pro cuddlers fulfill a need and I’m glad they offer their services but I can also see the OPs point of view that this used to be a site where cuddles were freely exchanged and that is no longer the case because of the proliferation of pro cuddlers and the lack of women enthusiasts.
I also viewed @ggiaquin ‘s post as benign and just examining the current state of pro cuddling. I do not think he was bashing pros at all despite the ensuing sarcastic, angry response of one pro that followed his post. Sometimes that anger is warranted, but not in this case. I thought he was very clear and concise in what he conveyed.
He was kind of bashing people who have taken up cuddling as a profession. I appreciate not being told when my anger (or whatever emotion) is unwarranted. Sorry but this site owner has created a space here for pros and we are constantly made unwelcome by people who do not want the services of pros. This is not the only cuddle site and like it or not, there are many reasons around screening and safety, unwelcome advances from men, and the higher demand for this of men, that have prompted people to turn pro. As far as I'm concerned, charging money creates a firm boundary that says this is a strictly professional relationship that will never turn sexual.
@MaineCuddle I think you are mistaking me for the OP. I never once bashed professionals, and as I stated, I have and only select my sessions from professionals. So if your anger is pointed towards me, then yes it is missguided. I support professional cuddling and understand the reason why there is a market for it from a very honest introspection that most men won't take which is what my comment here is about. Sounds like you have some pent up frustrations dealing with some of the men here and that's understandable. But your anger, if at me, is unwarranted.
My apologies @ggiaquin , I mistook Funcartel's comment as referring to OP and that's who my comments were referring to, not you. I would be understanding and work with someone who asked about discounts for various reasons. I would not work with someone who said I should cuddle them for free because it's not fair for me to charge them money.
My comment was referring to @ggiaquin because it seemed as though, given the immediacy of his posts and yours, that you were attacking him when he was merely bringing up discussion points and examining them from both sides. Sorry for the misunderstanding @MaineCuddle.
@CuddleWho, you wrote "What they're really thinking is, "I wish women as a group were as willing to express affection to men as men are to women." "
I for one am very willing to express affection to men. I am NOT willing to be groped, flashed, intimidated, or in any other way violated by a man. Unfortunately, women learn, most of us at very young ages, that some men are not safe.
I was ¹3 years old when I was mistaken for my father's wife and had a man suggest that my father should shower with me.
I was 18 years old when a man cornered me in the stairwell of my dorm, speculated out loud on the nature of my physical relationship with my boyfriend, and showed me his penis.
There is no way for us to know which men will simply accept our affection and give the same in return (the vast majority) and which men will violate us in some way. Until the vast majority of women do not have a negative, scary experience with men, women as a group will continue to be wary of men as a group. The way things stand now, I doubt you would be able to find a single woman over the age of 18 who has not been violated by a man in some way.
🖐️ Exactly this @Cuddle_RN I have actually come to the conclusion that most men do not want just cuddling and even those who are respectful are hoping in the back of their minds that sex will eventually happen whether with an enthusiast or pro.