@timetocuddle07 you still haven’t said why you don’t host?
@FunCartel & @quixotic_life you guys are hilarious! Just reading your comments on here is destressing 😂😂🤗
I host I'm talking about most the pros on here getting money and still not trying to host
If I get a “good vibe”, whatever that means, then not only am i okay with hosting, but I prefer it. Otherwise would prefer to meet at another location like hotel for safety purposes.
Other reasons why I couldn’t host, other cuddler is too far and can’t travel the distance; others residing at my residencethst I wouldn’t want to inconvenience.
@timetocuddle07
Looks like most need another person in their place to.host and that would cure this problem of hosting to me. Everything I'm reading is safety,stalkers or noisey individuals.
Well then you should probably read some more. Having another person in your home during a session does not protect you from a stalker, nosey neighbors or the invasion of your privacy.
Seems like some see clients as creeps somewhat well not all but some.
No we are protecting our safety by not allowing every stranger we meet to know our static location.
But the office space is a good idea. It shows good business saviness
It's not business savvy when you don't have enough clients on a regular basis to justify the overhead cost of leasing an office space. If you're in a major metro area even small office spaces can run upwards of 2k a month. It works great for some if they live in a low COL area with the clients to keep it sustainable. This isn't the case for alot of the full time cuddlers here.
Gee maybe it could be because our safety is at risk? Money doesn't protect us from all of the problems mentioned in the thread.
Before I started allowing clients into my home I offered free time / discounted sessions if the client paid for the hotel or I offered to pay for the room for longer sessions.
If you can host why is this such an issue?
Hosting is not an issue for me I actually prefer it from a convenience standpoint. So a cuddler specifically a pro who doesn’t want to host or is unable to host I’d not an issue for me. I can understand the reasons why they wouldn’t want to , safety , privacy reasons if they don’t live alone or like some have mentioned don’t want to deal with a bunch of questions from nosey folks questioning an uptick in foot traffic. Also there’s this an saying that goes “ You go where the money is “ for a lot of pro cuddlers depending on their location it’s easier for them to get to you logistically than it is for them to have to worry about hosting especially if it allows them map out multiple clients in that area. Also in the past I’ve met a couple of cuddlers who while on their profile says they don’t host , after meeting you a couple times and deciding you’re not some sort of ax murderer or stalker are willing to host. They just don’t offer that option up to everyone right off the bat until they get to know you
I host 💓 but here me out, this is what it took for ME to be comfortable with hosting....
First thing, first. I work for a PI law office, I pity anyone who disrespects me, I will find you. The last time I had a bad time, I almost pressed charges against them. That was almost 3 years ago.
My first client I ever had got into my phone when I left the room and found photos that were for no ones eyes but mine. Gross. Uncomfortable. Not what I signed up for. Do not stalk ladies okay? Do not threaten them, send dick pics, ect.... okay.
I also invest in a full surveillance camera system around my home and do not give address until day of. And I let them know I have it. I do not like surprises. Check out the laws for Oregon on protection in ones home, do not think you're clever, you'll regret it.
I have two people local I can text before and after the cuddle that if something was to come up, they'd be here in five minutes. You do not want to meet them if I have to call them over. Call them my bouncers, I've never had to use yet. It sounds ominous, but if you aren't here for bad intentions, then you shouldn't have anything to think about, right? Right.
Because all I have is the best intentions for you in my home and in my arms. Let's keep it mutual. Let's keep it real. Let's keep it authentic. I promise you my degree in psychology and being a legitimate professional in this field, you are in good hands.
I have a separate room for cuddling in my home that is void of anything that would be super personal. Including dressers, office paperwork, ext. It's unfortunate but people are/can be nosey and some do not understand what the concept of respect is when in someone else's home.
I keep extra basketball shorts to stop the perverts from showing up in their underwear and creating a headache even after hours of communication beforehand. It's creepy and I try to shut that down if it happens. I do not want to see your penis, no. 😂😂😂
With all that said, I enjoy hosting for the sake of the comfort of my own home. I love the special touches of candles and peaceful music... Making delicious treats to share. I love people and the cuddle community has given me hundreds of experiences with kind, well-rounded, individuals who some I call friend to the day.
However, If I can't trust the client, they can host, or I just do not book.
To my fellow pros: just remember, It's whatever makes YOU the most comfortable, you are the contractor, you are in charge of the details. Never hesitate with your gut instinct. There is a learning curve with this industry, just like any industry. 💓
@MissAdventurous what color are these basketball shorts ? I would want to make sure I’m not supporting a rival team. In all seriousness someone going through my stuff when I leave the room is a concern Ive had in the back of my mind before but thankfully Ive never had to deal with.
@hugonehugall you always know how to crack me up 😂😂😂 grey/black in multiple sizes. I think you can find something.... 😉
And yes, I couldn't imagine having the audacity, because I actually ... (You know, because I'm not an ass-hat of a human being who thinks I have a right to do whatever)... Care and do respect others privacy and space. Consent. 😆
@MissAdventurous OH MY GOD. Mad respect! You are a badass!
Also, slightly off topic rant on nosiness:
Christ on a cracker, what's wrong with some of these people?! A few months ago, I met up with someone (through Reddit) and we went to her place. At one point, I needed to use the bathroom, and when I returned, she commented on all the stuff I must have seen in her bathroom cupboards while I was in there. I was surprised by this, and said I hadn't looked. She didn't believe me, and went on to say that EVERYONE snoops through other people's stuff when they get the chance, that she certainly does, and that I can expect her to snoop through my stuff when I invite her over.
Anyway, I didn't meet up with her again.
@MissAdventurous grey /black is a good look !! Yeah the last thing I need is someone snooping around my nightstand or my closets. There’s a reason why that stuff is out of eyesight
Yeah the "special" drawer .... 😂😂
For your midnight snacks, of course. @hugonehugall 😇😇
And @squeakytoy it sounds like SHE is the type to do just that. Yikes. I wouldn't have either. 😆😆😆
@MissAdventurous , you have bonceers? Wow!!
She said, “Call them my bouncers” .. she didnt say, “I have bouncers” or , “they are my bouncers” … obviously two people that really love her & in a drop of a dime will bring you well deserved hell if need be.
@MissAdventurous you never know when that 1AM granola bar hankering will show up. @squeakytoy I’m not a snooper either to take it a step further I get weirded out when I go to someone’s house and toiletries and meds are left out in plain view in the bathroom guess I’m weird 🤷🏾♂️ My medicine cabinet is also pretty boring , over the counter aspirin as such , toothpaste ect …. Nothing juicy, I also hung it myself after the original one fell but I have 75% confidence it’ll never fall on anyone who slams it shut too fast.
I have actually been looking for a hosting location for quite some time, in a 30 mile radius and would also absorb the cost. I have yet to find a location. I’ve reached out to many holistic practitioners and therapists to see if they had a room to rent. I tell them what I do and get no response. My home is not an option.
My place is too darn untidy at mo,wouldnt want to subject someone to that ...
@envie
Some don't wanna drive to.my area to cuddle I have no problem hosting.its when I travel. And I understand risk and safety but it has to be some compromise eventually. Are clients that head over heals to stalk the cuddling partner? I guess I take it as that cuddling moment. Maybe I shouldn't have visitors at my spot
@squeakytoy
Some people’s idea of normal is just crazy! To me, NOT looking through peoples things is normal and I expect the majority would follow suit, I suppose I’m projecting just like her.
Good point @sunnysideup … if someone’s not a thief they’re naturally very trusting, they would leave their smartphone to the side , leave valuables unlocked / just very Care free …. When someone’s infact a thief they are constantly on high alert / and on the lookout that someone’s out to take something from them (negative experience will also influence either scenarios)
I hosted all but one of my cuddles, and if my buddies pried, well, they were professional about it and left no sign. I don't object to that! Leave everything as you found it, and you can carry away as much data as you like (just don't pester me about it).
...On my end, with the buddy who hosted, I asked first then "pried" until I found a Star Wars novel, which I read while he slept.
I don't host now, though. Not just because there's a plague and I don't live in a place of honor (nothing of value is here, no great deeds commemorated, etc.), but also on account of it just takes forever to get the unfamiliar smells out, and I like my place to smell familiar.
I don't mind travel as much as most other people do, particularly when it comes to driving at night. Once the pandemic is over I expect to resume routine multiple-hour drives to dance events. I'd be more inclined to add cuddles as a reason for long distance travel, especially if I can combine it with dance travel, rather than feel like I'm imposing by having someone travel to me.
The other major factor for me is that making my home look presentable to any kind of visitor is a big source of stress. This should be less of an issue after I (hopefully) buy a house this summer, as it'll be a chance for a fresh start: i'll have finished paring down my belongings to what I actually want to keep, will get mostly new furniture, and will have a larger space to set up with visitors in mind instead of purely for my own use. (Currently my living room is my home office, for instance.) But until then, I just assume people will judge me for a less-than-immaculate living space, justified or not.
Some don't wanna drive to.my area to cuddle I have no problem hosting.its when I travel. And I understand risk and safety but it has to be some compromise eventually.
Compromise can be made by offering to pay for a room that is a good halfway point. In return receive either a discounted session or an extra hour for free. 💥 BOOM 💥 compromise.
Best way to approach this hosting dilemma is to not contact pros who say they don't host or have guest only in their profile. If they don't host, they have their reasons and it doesn't require an explanation. Whether it's safety, roommates, bad experiences etc, in the end it doesn't matter. No one here is obligated to host whether you're a client, pro or enthusiast.
Are clients that head over heals to stalk the cuddling partner?
They CAN be yes. I won't name them, but I know of two pros who have obsessive stalkers that have been banned, sign up repeatedly under different usernames to harass them. Now imagine if these guys knew where they lived. 🤔
There are some rather erratic and unstable folks on here . Not to mention pretty emotionally needy . I can certainly understand why some are hesitant to let people into their homes, particularly due to the nature of meeting internet strangers to cuddle. Some of these folks who haven't had that kind of attention just dont know how to deal with it and may become obsessive and feel rejected when their feelings aren't reciprocated (which is why I say not everyone should do this as it can absolutely cause more harm than good ).. Not to mention obvious safety risks .
Honestly. Cuddling is a risk all together, especially as a woman. To open your own home to someone, is even more of a safety issue. Me personally, I have kids. Young kids at that. I don’t need them to see me consistently having different men over and directing them to my bedroom everytime. Not a good look. 😳
So, I don’t host for those two reasons alone and that’s more than enough of a reason if you ask me.
The only time that I host, is when I’m traveling. 🤷🏽♀️
I agree there's pro's and con's safety and security is number one privacy is optional depending how private they want to keep there life and in that case its just professional at the same time to provide some needed cuddling ,I would just try to have a discussion on that topic . it's all on the vibes you give out be on a comfortable level .
Here are my considerations: I'm new at cuddling people outside of my marriage. It took months for my husband and me to process and negotiate my cuddling with others, and even though we both consent to it now, I don't know how he or I would feel if I cuddled someone else in our own bed. (Even our guest room has a bed my husband sleeps in when he has trouble sleeping, so that bed is our bed as well, or at least my husband's bed.) Yes, we are like it when close friends sleep in the bed in the guest room, but that's different. I also imagine I would feel weird cuddling with someone other than my husband with my husband there, like how would he feel about what he might hear, such as gentle pillow talk and contented sighs, or how a client might feel about crying with someone else within earshot. I keep contemplating it, though, and I'm open to the possibility of talking it over with my husband and trying it to see how it feels to us and the cuddle buddy or client. I do understand there's also the possibility of a three-person cuddle, but I've never been a three-way person. I tried it when I was single and didn't like it at all— I prefer to be 1:1, even when it comes to spending time with friends. I imagine I would like a group cuddle, though, since it wouldn't be just me and two others; it would be a totally different dynamic. One reservation I have to cuddling someone with my husband is that he doesn't have my level of training in boundaries and consent. Still, I could imagine how, if my husband attends, participates in, and enjoys some cuddle parties — once there finally are cuddle parties again! — he might make a good third.
P.S. I guess one option would be for my husband to agree to leave the house before the cuddle partner arrives and not come back until after they're gone, or to be there when the cuddle partner arrives just to see if he feels the person is not a threat and then leave the house once the person passes his inspection. 😉
P.P.S. I do can get squeamish if another person's place looks or feels dirty to me, so one benefit of cuddling in my own home would be that I have control over the environment and feel comfortable in it myself.
Ideally I think a designated space like a massage clinic room would be best.
I am more comfortable hosting to a pro, because they have a business interest in respecting my privacy wishes(this is not something I discuss with people I know-that's the nature of this activity). I will host a non-pro if we meet and they are legit and I feel as if I can trust them.
@CandyL Not gonna lie. I'd probably spend most of the time admiring the animals and weapons and such, and not actually cuddling. Would it be safe to assume the weapons are of the bladed and/or blunt variety?
@CandyL I'm with @BrianL ~ I think your place sounds like it would be amazing! A potential for a special needs duck cuddle?! And a mess of things for you to protect us with if the apocalypse or zombie uprising begins while over there...?! That's like the ultimate safe space!! I Love it!!